I'd start by NOT buying your son everything he asks for. If there's something he wants, but doesn't actually need, make him earn it through good behavior, and extra chores around the house.
As for your daughter, I'd tell her as a condition of continuing to live at home after she turns 18, she needs to either graduate from high school or get her GED. AND that she needs to either get a full time job, or enroll in college or trade school full time (or both - work part time and go to school full time). I'd do it now, so she won't still be unemployed and living with you when she's 30.
Good luck!
HI Mama.
You need to do what I have just done! Take control of your kids back! You need to become the boss and let them know what you expect and anything less WILL come with consequences. You need to take everything away now and tell them they will get it back as they can prove they are responsible and respectful.
I did not have to go to that extreme with my son yet. He is 13 and was showing signs that he was going to rebel some and I WAS too easy with him. I have added extra chores for when he does not get his done and make a list of what is expected of them. I got the list idea from others on here! He wants a pet too so he knows he will not get one until he proves his responsibility.
I think that parents do tend to be too easy with their kids today and that's not good!
just one more thing to add... follow through... if you are going to something like grounding him make sure you do that! and make it last the entire time you say it going to. you can't just say some thing and then leave it be... be consistent! that is from a profession behavior therapist!
Quoting vale131:
HI Mama.
You need to do what I have just done! Take control of your kids back! You need to become the boss and let them know what you expect and anything less WILL come with consequences. You need to take everything away now and tell them they will get it back as they can prove they are responsible and respectful.
I did not have to go to that extreme with my son yet. He is 13 and was showing signs that he was going to rebel some and I WAS too easy with him. I have added extra chores for when he does not get his done and make a list of what is expected of them. I got the list idea from others on here! He wants a pet too so he knows he will not get one until he proves his responsibility.
I think that parents do tend to be too easy with their kids today and that's not good!
This
Quoting PinkieRed:
I'm sorry you're going through that.
I'd start by NOT buying your son everything he asks for. If there's something he wants, but doesn't actually need, make him earn it through good behavior, and extra chores around the house.
As for your daughter, I'd tell her as a condition of continuing to live at home after she turns 18, she needs to either graduate from high school or get her GED. AND that she needs to either get a full time job, or enroll in college or trade school full time (or both - work part time and go to school full time). I'd do it now, so she won't still be unemployed and living with you when she's 30.
Good luck!
Yes, thank you!
Quoting mamaplus3:just one more thing to add... follow through... if you are going to something like grounding him make sure you do that! and make it last the entire time you say it going to. you can't just say some thing and then leave it be... be consistent! that is from a profession behavior therapist!
Quoting vale131:
HI Mama.
You need to do what I have just done! Take control of your kids back! You need to become the boss and let them know what you expect and anything less WILL come with consequences. You need to take everything away now and tell them they will get it back as they can prove they are responsible and respectful.
I did not have to go to that extreme with my son yet. He is 13 and was showing signs that he was going to rebel some and I WAS too easy with him. I have added extra chores for when he does not get his done and make a list of what is expected of them. I got the list idea from others on here! He wants a pet too so he knows he will not get one until he proves his responsibility.
I think that parents do tend to be too easy with their kids today and that's not good!
Great advice, I agree!
Quoting PinkieRed:
I'm sorry you're going through that.
I'd start by NOT buying your son everything he asks for. If there's something he wants, but doesn't actually need, make him earn it through good behavior, and extra chores around the house.
As for your daughter, I'd tell her as a condition of continuing to live at home after she turns 18, she needs to either graduate from high school or get her GED. AND that she needs to either get a full time job, or enroll in college or trade school full time (or both - work part time and go to school full time). I'd do it now, so she won't still be unemployed and living with you when she's 30.
Good luck!
The best advice is be consistent if you sit down with them and go over the rules and punishment for breaking them and let them know they will be punished every time.
Each time they break a rule make the punishment worse and since they know what it is before they can't complain and if they do tell them they chose the punishment when they chose to break the rule.
Quoting PinkieRed:
I'm sorry you're going through that.
I'd start by NOT buying your son everything he asks for. If there's something he wants, but doesn't actually need, make him earn it through good behavior, and extra chores around the house.
As for your daughter, I'd tell her as a condition of continuing to live at home after she turns 18, she needs to either graduate from high school or get her GED. AND that she needs to either get a full time job, or enroll in college or trade school full time (or both - work part time and go to school full time). I'd do it now, so she won't still be unemployed and living with you when she's 30.
Good luck!
I agree!
mrgetinold, Well, I can tell you that, you need to totally stop 'GIVING', unless it's for yourself.. The kids can be on hold for awhile.. They are way to old to have temper tantrums.. You aren't digging the holes, they are.. GIMMEE, GIMMEE, GIMMEE.. This needs to end asap.. They complain, walk away, say nothing, nor look at them.. Go about your business as usual.. You are predictable to them, never do this to yourself Honey.. You need to change you, not them.. You are just as important as your family is.. You need to come first.. Take Care, Donna....
You did get a lot of good advice. I would just say that at 12, you should definitely be the one in charge. If your child is feeling entitled, you have to cut back and make him earn his "privileges." I would really suggest that you find a parenting class, a support group, and/or a good therapist because I think you need to change some of your parenting tactics. This does NOT mean you're a failure. Sometimes parents really don't know what to do, and they need some suggestions. Sometimes certain kids and teens need specific tactics. Sometimes moms or dad parent out of guilt and don't realize that they are creating more problems. You may just need a little support and guidance to learn and make some changes.
My 19 year old daughter's boyfriend
Would you drug test your teen?
- mrgetinold
on Jul. 17, 2012 at 10:27 AM