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Son was raped!!! New UPDATE, Some good news

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:07 PM
  • 75 Replies
I have no idea where to start....My son usually gets home from his Public Service (Children are required to get a certain amount of service hours to graduate) at three. He walks from home to the local library. Anyways, it was four and he still wasn't home. He is sixteen and went with a friend so I thought he was fine. At about four thirty I heard someone knocking on the door.

This is where the bad stuff comes in.

He had a black eye, had cuts on his arms and face, bruising, and was clutching his groin. He came in crying and I called an ambulance. When he came back home(he was at the hospital for five hours) he finally told me what happened.

His friend had been sick and couldnt walk with him. On the way home, a woman saw him while driving and stopped by the curb. She then pulled out a knife and ran up to him. She threatened to kill him unless he got in the car with her. Apparently he was raped and she had forced him to do HORRIBLE things.

I called the police and they have arrested the woman, but my son is not handling this well at all. He wont eat, watch TV, or do anything but sleep. What should I do to comfort him? This is really hurting the whole family.

*update*

He is going to start therapy tomorrow, I would have done it sooner, but my insurance company was insane. He started telling his father more details and....lets just say the things he told him were not very pretty. He is getting slightly better mentally, although physically he still has bruising and some other bad injuries. The court system is acting retarded and telling me I have to wait for a ridiculous amount of time to do anything about it. I also forgot to mention that his birthday was today....he was not happy to say the least. Im also worried about my husband. He was raped by a man when he was Seventeen and is not handling his anger in safe ways...

I know this was jumbled up and about a million different topics, but it feels good to vent.

*Another update"

Okay...this is a big one.

To put it bluntly, my son tried to kill himself. My husband was at work and me and my daughter were asleep. I woke up to use the bathroom and saw my son. There were four or five bottles of different medications on the floor and he was about to take more. I called the ambulance and I havent heard anything yet. I do know that he is getting his stomach pumped. I cant go there until tomorrow sadly. My daughter doesnt know about this yet because she is still asleep.

I have a lot on my plate.

*Third Update*

I have finally heard something about my son. He was diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depression, and Schizophrenia. They are going to keep him for at least five days or longer unless medication doesnt help. The only things he told the doctors were that everything was his fault and that the world shouldnt have to deal with filth like him.

I am completely crushed and my husband is faring twice as worse.

Some good news:

The Schizophrenia was directly related to the PTSD and has already dissapeared. His condition has gotten much better than it was. He is still depressed, but he is now eating and participating in therapy. They are going to keep him until the 31st because he is still highly unstable. My husband has gotten some counseling as well. My daughter is really worried about her brother....I mean, she looks like she is about to explode. I'm getting her help. I am undergoing therapy too. The court system is finally cooperating too.
The doctors are saying that when he is discharged he will be highly likely to snap and that I should keep tabs on him.

Things are finally looking up in away :)
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by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ashleighmama
by Ashleigh on Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh, I'm so sorry for your son, and for you. I don't know that I really have any advice but I just wanted to reach out to you and say I'm sorry. Will he talk to you at all about it? Will he talk to his dad? Maybe it would be easier for him to talk to a male. I don't know. I have a 13 year old son and I know this would just freak me out, I can't even imagine what you're going through as a mom. Did the hospital have him talk to anyone? Thank God this woman was arrested. You'll probably have to seek professional help, that's probably what I would do. I'm so sorry mama.
10yrsapart9505
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 3:26 PM
3 moms liked this

I would let him sleep when he wants to sleep. Get him to therapy.  Even if he doesnt want to, make him go.  Tell him he at lease has to listen to what the doctor says because it could help him in the long run. But let him be freaked out and upset and let him express his feelings however he can.  He will come around when he is ready...with the help of a counselor.  Buy him a can of mace to carry with him or put him in self defense classes to give him more of a sense of security.  just have patience.  Im so sorry this happened.   

amonkeymom
by Amy on Jul. 18, 2012 at 3:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh sweety, I'm so sorry.

I think you need to have him talk with a therapist, maybe even a doctor.  He could be suffering from PTSD as well as depression since this incident. (((hug)))

Barabell
by Barbara on Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:04 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry.

I think your son needs therapy. He's a victim of a violent crime, and he probably doesn't know how to handle it.

Hugs.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:15 PM
2 moms liked this

 Call a crisis line asap and get him some help, he went through an extremely tramatic experience and needs to speak to a professional counselor.

Bananas.mommy
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:21 PM
Im so sorry.i dont think guys can talk about things like this like alot of women can.maybe get his dad to talk to him.im guessing he feels less of a man right now.please get ur son help.
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JC2223
by Member on Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:25 PM
He needs to see a crisis counselor ASAP. So super sorry this happened to him! Glad they caught the woman.
M0m89659132
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 7:47 PM
Thanks guys! I will follow your advice on the subject.
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tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Jul. 18, 2012 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 You need to get him into counseling, IMMEDIATELY!!!! Don't force him to talk about it. Don't whisper around him. Just be there when he needs you. He is going to need the counseling because he is going to have to testify in court about what this horrible person did. He is going to need the strength a counselor can help him develop. I wish him the best to help to come to terms with what happened. He doesn't have to get over it or forget it but he has to learn how to deal with him so it doesn't overwhelm him or take over his life. Give him lots of love and encouragement.

tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Jul. 18, 2012 at 11:26 PM
1 mom liked this

 And the hospital should have provided a psych evaluation at the time of his exam. It is part of a rape exam.

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