Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Why would you live with someone

Posted by on Aug. 5, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Ida
  • 13 Replies

 you have no intention of marrying because they aren't the type of person you want to marry.

My mother has lived with a man for over 20 years and they said they will never get married I don't understand why you would live with someone that isn't good enough to marry.

Now someone else is doing the same thing as teens they moved in together have been together 4 or 5 years he asked her to marry him and she says he isn't the kind of guy she wants to marry.  

What am I missing I would hope if my kids move in with someone it is to see if they can live together before they get married not just living with the person waiting for something better to come along.   

What about your teen do you think they would live with someone while waiting for something better.

by on Aug. 5, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 5, 2012 at 9:51 AM
No never. If you both just didn't want to marry that is one thing. If you wanted to marry I would never live with someone that I did not want to marry.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Aug. 5, 2012 at 10:38 AM
I have no answer for that one, if they wouldn't be good enough to marry (at least at some point in life) why live togather? Why not move on and find that somebody who would be right?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Aug. 5, 2012 at 1:57 PM

I certainly hope they don't.  Unless of course they are just roommates (seperate rooms, etc.)

02nana07
by Ida on Aug. 5, 2012 at 2:13 PM

 That is how I feel I lived with my husband to see how it would go we both had made up our minds to stay single before we met.  The funny part after 6 months we were married because we both changed our minds after we got together.  Had one of us changed our minds but the other didn't it would have been over because it wouldn't have been fair to the one that wanted to get married.

Quoting atlmom2:

No never. If you both just didn't want to marry that is one thing. If you wanted to marry I would never live with someone that I did not want to marry.

 

02nana07
by Ida on Aug. 5, 2012 at 2:14 PM

 That is what I was thinking I think they will regret it at some point.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

I have no answer for that one, if they wouldn't be good enough to marry (at least at some point in life) why live togather? Why not move on and find that somebody who would be right?

 

02nana07
by Ida on Aug. 5, 2012 at 2:15 PM

 That is how I feel

Quoting fantasticfour:

I certainly hope they don't.  Unless of course they are just roommates (seperate rooms, etc.)

 

kirbymom
by on Aug. 5, 2012 at 2:50 PM

Not a chance. My teens actually value themselves enough to say to their dad and I, one time,  that they would never be with a person who didn't think they were good enough, by giving up "something" for each other.  Their words were, "... Why would I want to be with someone if they don't feel that I am worth sacrificing for? " You can imagine my jaw hittin' the floor when this was said.  :)  But that is how they feel and I am not going to try and change that. No way. That would be dumb on my part.  lol

  

undefined

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Aug. 5, 2012 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Not sure. My mom has been with her "boyfriend" for 23 years, they live together. They both went into the relationship knowing that they were never going to marry b/c they were both burned in their first marriages.


drfink
by Emily on Aug. 5, 2012 at 8:24 PM

I hope they would be planning to marry.We went to a in town reception yesterday for a couple that married elsewhere.They are 29 and 31 and have been living together more than eight years.They got engaged in Dec. All parents are delighted they are married.I asked his mom, my good friend ,what was the inspiration to marry after so long.She said she thinks they have decided to have children and think it will be best for them to be married when they become parents.Not pregnant now. 

My uncle got married for the fourth time June 2nd.They have all been his age.This time it was his now wife that was hesitant to marry when they moved in 4 years ago.She had been married one time for 26 years before divorcing her first husband and wasn't interested in being a fourth ex wife.She wanted to make sure they were compatible,a fit ,he had worked out issues etc.So there are times I understandnd living together without intentions to marry.She said if they hadn't married she would have stayed until and if it quit working.She is a tenured college professor ,she isn't dependent on anyone.

02nana07
by Ida on Aug. 5, 2012 at 9:20 PM

 If neither wants to marry and I understand after you have been burned I can see it.

But if one wants to and the other says they are not the kind of person they want to marry something is wrong. 

Quoting mumsy2three:

Not sure. My mom has been with her "boyfriend" for 23 years, they live together. They both went into the relationship knowing that they were never going to marry b/c they were both burned in their first marriages.


 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)