Hey all. My son I a great kid, except when I ask him to help me out. He does what I ask, but always with an eye roll, and an attitude. I know I should just shrug it off, but it really makes me mad! here is an example of what I mean.
So he had a sleepover on Sat night. He was supposed to come home early on Sunday, and help with some housework. On Sunday he tried to call and see if he could go to the river with some friends. He never got a hold of me, so he just came home. Great kid!
Anyway, I was really pleased that he came home, and felt bad that he missed out on the opportunity to go. So, I drove him, 3 hours round trip, to join his friends. He agreed that he would work today (Monday) extra hard.
So, first off he got a bad sunburn. Although I get it that he is uncomfortable, I am thinking, well you agreed, and you also did not listen to be and wear sunscreen. So, I am expecting him to work. He has been stomping around, being an ass generally.
I feel manipulated, and pissed off.
What would you do?
Also, I don't think he's manipulating you. He's just thinking about how he's feeling right now, and not what you did for him. He's a kid--living more in the moment than thinking about the bigger picture. Have a talk to him about the bigger picture surrounding this whole situation.
Even though you might feel manipulated, you are the one that decided to let him go and create this new arrangement. You were in control of the situation. Based on what you posted, I really don't think you were manipulated.
i agree with this completely!
Quoting Barabell:Also, I don't think he's manipulating you. He's just thinking about how he's feeling right now, and not what you did for him. He's a kid--living more in the moment than thinking about the bigger picture. Have a talk to him about the bigger picture surrounding this whole situation.
Even though you might feel manipulated, you are the one that decided to let him go and create this new arrangement. You were in control of the situation. Based on what you posted, I really don't think you were manipulated.
I know you are annoyed, and I really do understand your feelings! But with that said, I have to gently remind you to pick your battles. Teens are sometimes moody, sullen, sarcastic, and annoying - as you already know. Try to let it roll and let him "suffer" through his work. He will be better for it. And he will probably learn the value of using sunscreen. But I would just put on headphones or go somewhere and ignore his mood.
I am glad you recognize how lucky you are to have such a good kid. I'm sure he is not finished annoying you yet ;) But I know you know that you will actually miss this stage someday too!
ya I don't think he manipulated you either.He meant it at the time just today he is sunburned ,other things are more interesting ...the list is endless...he is a teen .One of mine did this a couple of times and he also is generally a good kid.I realized for him he needed to do his chores first then play.Did that a few times with an explanation of why so he would understand.Gave him another chance with a reminder of what had happened and he came through.
I would let him rest today due to the sunburn and have him help tomorrow.
Mine do this all the time. The moment I do something special for them they think they can do what they want. Prime example of give them an inch and they take a mile. If it makes you feel better, I don't think he's manipulating you, at least not on purpose.
My son got a severe burn by going to the pool in 100 degree heat. He still had to come home and do his chores. His dad is very adament that he do what he says he will do or he gets grounded. Just be firm an stand by the agreement. Maybe it will make him think again about making deals. :)
Do you expect academic excellence from your kids? POLL Added
- MockingJay
on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:39 PM