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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Advice Needed:

Posted by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 11:49 AM
  • 13 Replies
I have four older kids, my youngest daughter who's 17, she's just been so out of it lately. Ever since she started high school she seems to have gotten depressed. She had a full scholarship to any college in the country and everything would of been paid for. However she lost it because she lost interest in school n never kept her grades up, they gave her so many chances but her GPA went down to 1.8 and she always was a straight A student! I am to my witts ends with her, her room looks like a tornado went through. I had to send her to be with my mom for s month before school starts because I don't know what else to do. I know she's depressed, took her to counseling but she was more annoyed by it n I couldn't afford it any longer. Please help I'm losing my daughter. My youngest son it's doing awesome, he's actually the or one of the football coaches and is doing great with his grades. They were the opposite when they were younger she was an excellent kid, he was such a handful. Please help
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 11:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Aug. 9, 2012 at 1:03 PM

Have you talked to her about what's troubling her?  Perhaps she lost the scholarship on purpose because of the pressure to attend college right away.  Maybe someone is bullying her, or her friends have walked away because of all her achievements.  Talk to her and see what is going on.

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Aug. 9, 2012 at 1:20 PM

I agree with this.  Keep those lines of communication open.

Welcome to the group.

Quoting fantasticfour:

Have you talked to her about what's troubling her?  Perhaps she lost the scholarship on purpose because of the pressure to attend college right away.  Maybe someone is bullying her, or her friends have walked away because of all her achievements.  Talk to her and see what is going on.


Barabell
by Barbara on Aug. 9, 2012 at 2:00 PM

Do you suspect her depression is due to a mental illness or due to an event? Have you talked to a doctor about her depression? Was she on any medications for it when she was seeing a counselor?

MrsBLB
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 2:30 PM

Welcome to the group.  I agree with the above posts.  Always let her know you are there for her.  Good luck and keep us posted.

sunflowers12
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 5:29 PM
Well, if she doesn't want to talk about it take a step back.. let her deal some if this could be attention related or could need a doc, check up check hormonal levels... Sometimes we over-react.. this can caught them to retreat from us... So try backing off a but but do take her to the doc, for a check up.. the room well just clean it that's easy... There's a saying that torque teens can learn a lot from it say" grow a back bone not a wish bone".. many teens feel they are owed.by us the world n when they don't get what they think they owed they act like there depressed or whatever...
FindersKeepers
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 6:18 PM

It seems like something happened or is happening that would make a straight A student drop to a 1.8.   That and the personality change would be a huge red flag to me.   Maybe try a different counselor, MD or big sisters type program.   I would have a true heart to heart with her and ask some tough questions.... "Is there something you want to tell me?"  "Has anything happened that you need to talk about?"  "You used to take so much pride in your good grades, I am worried about you.  Is there anything I can do?"  

If she won't open up, you may just need to be patient.   If she tells you something stay calm and just listen.   I was a steal trap as a kid, there is no way I would have told my parents anything that I was going through... so you may not get anything out of her.   Just let her know that you love her and are there.   Lay off about how she used to be too... she is not that kid right now so bringing it up is just hurtful.  (like you wouldn't compare to siblings to make one feel bad, you shouldn't compare her to her old self.)

bizzeemom2717
by on Aug. 9, 2012 at 9:45 PM

 

Quoting MrsBLB:

Welcome to the group.  I agree with the above posts.  Always let her know you are there for her.  Good luck and keep us posted.

 I agree as well, welcome to the group!

DarlaHood
by on Aug. 10, 2012 at 3:15 AM

I would also add to be very observant about what she is doing.  Is she hanging out with different people?  Could she possibly be partying or using drugs or alcohol.  Is she showin signs of clinical depression? or symptoms that maybe she has experienced some sort of trauma?  i know of a girl who had been drinking at a party, and some things happened to her that were traumatic.  She changed at home, but was mortified and humiliated to tell her parents.  What is demanding the attention that your dd used to give to her schoolwork and grades?

  She may not like the counselor, and you may have to help her choose a new one.  But if you can't figure out what is going on with your dd, she absolutely needs to be seeing a counselor reguarly.  It must be someone that can build a rapport with her.



MAMI_D_5
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:06 PM
***UPDATE!!!**** UPDATE*******

Thank you ladies, I know it has been a while since I posted this but it only got worse tried everything but nothing worked. It got to the point that as soon as she turned18 she thought she could smoked pot in her room while I was at work or went to bed.
Today i had to call the police on her and was arrested but I just didn't know what else to do.
I came home from work and found her smoking weed, told her to get Her butt down stairs & start cleaning and doing dishes. She pushed me& started yelling so her brother heard the commotion and told her to stop but she only got even worse by attacking him..
I didn't know what to do, now she's sitting in a jail cell and I feel like the worst parent..
Please ladies any suggestion on how to get her to realized she's ruining her life..
I'm so lost right now..
bizzeemom2717
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 12:06 AM
Hugs! My first piece of advice is write **UPDATE** in the title of this post so others know you have new info a year later.
Second it's OKAY. sounds like you had no choice today. Again hugs. I would try calling a crisis line and getting a different counselor referral. Also because you got her arrested if they know about the marijuana they may mandate she go get a drug and alcohol evaluation. Good luck!


Quoting MAMI_D_5:

Thank you ladies, I know it has been a while since I posted this but it only got worse tried everything but nothing worked. It got to the point that as soon as she turned18 she thought she could smoked pot in her room while I was at work or went to bed.

Today i had to call the police on heralds he was arrested but I just didn't know what else to do.

I came home from work and fought her smoking weed, told her to get Her butt down stairs & start cleaning and doing dishes. She pushed me& started yelling so her brother heard the commotion and told her to stop but she only got even worse by attacking him..

I didn't know what to do, now she's sitting in a jail cell and I feel like the worst parent..

Please ladies any suggestion on how to get her to realized she's ruining her life..

I'm so lost right now..
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