Is there any way to deal with a mother in law who I personally believe is evil and psychotic? Here's some back story.
When husband and I got together she told me that she would appreciate it if I would understand that exwife was like a daughter to her (they had been married 18 years) and that they still talked. I told her no problem, just don't invite us to the same party.
She then spent 4 years telling me how wonderful I was and how horrible exwife was, as a mother, a wife, a person. I found out later that she was doing the same with exwife.
Then my husband's oldest went to live with her and he told his dad how much everyone there hated me so hubby asked his mom why she was saying that when she had been telling me for years she loved me. Her answer was "I don't know her well enough to know I hate her" REALLY??? If I interact with you for 5 minutes I know wheter or not I like you or not.
When father in law passed, she became unglued. She constantly is talking to exwife and trying to convince exwife to try to get custody (she did but failed miserably at it). She bad mouths me every chance she gets, and whenever she speaks to hubby she flips out on him and completely devistates him. Guilt trips the children because (gasp) they don't come see her (700 miles away) and makes them feel bad about it.
There is alot more to the story, but I won't get into it. Well she got a facebook today. She "friended" me. I asked her why and she stated forgive and forget. Ok... then she started bashing me about how I emailed her (posted online for all to see) about how I felt she behaved and how I don't want her to be my family and that's fine with her. Ok... What? It gets worse. It's like she "friended" me so she could gripe at me! The last time I spoke with her, was a year ago on my daughter's 13th birthday. It was because she put her in tears because at 13 she wasn't driving 3 states away to come visit. I ended up talking to her to tell her to grow up and not hurt a little girl about a problem she had with the parents.
Is there ANY way to rationalize with this woman?