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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Having Trouble

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 7:35 AM
  • 14 Replies

My daughter is almost 13 and has grown up a straight A, perfect attendance, no problems child.  All of a sudden we are having trouble with her hanging out with some of the "bad" kids and choosing behavior that is not like her.  This summer she spent the night with a friend and snuck out in the middle of the night.  She also tried started talking to a boy through a mutual friend who openly smokes marijuana.  I am a divorced mother and I have been re-married for over 1 year.  Her sister is 8 and very high strung and demands much of my attention but I feel like I do a fairly get job of putting my kids first and spending enough time on both.  Her grades have not suffered yet because of any of this.  We have put strict rules on her and we are watching her very closely.  Is there anything else we can do, thoughts?

by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 7:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Aug. 20, 2012 at 7:55 AM

You could talk to her about being the good influence on the kids she hangs out with.  There's all types of peer pressure, including positive peer pressure.  Have her apply some while they are hanging out.

PurpleHazey
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 11:08 AM
1 mom liked this

She is at that age toughen up and keep her busy!

amonkeymom
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:31 PM

Keep the communication open.  Don't come down on her for things she says when she talks about her friends, things she's into at the moment, etc but all while making sure she understands that things like drugs, alcohol, sex, etc are things you won't tolerate.

atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:50 PM
Curb her friends. What punishment did she get for the bad behavior.
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mrspeterrabbit
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 She wouldnt be spending the night no more that for sure! Not till she earned it back. That hasnt happened to me (knock on wood). but b4 you let her spend he night make sure to meet the parents at there house so you know how there living, and that they know about the sleep over. I meet every parent b4hand, I dont play! I ask alot of questions too. I care less what my teen thinks cause im the parent and  they are the child. I explain it just like that too, and give them my cell #. Show her what can happen (Lifetime movie) to her while she has snuck out the house and No one knew she was gone. I did alot of that to all of mine....and it worked. While your at it Find one about drugs, and what effect that can have on your life too. Good luck, we live and learn .....No parent is perfect for as God Didnt make a perfect person, so you might have to try a variety of things

Barabell
by Barbara on Aug. 20, 2012 at 7:21 PM

Keep the communication open.

Set ground rules appropriate to her age, and enforce them.

japfield3
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 6:49 AM

She has a phone and I took that away and she was grounded for the remainder of the summer which was about four weeks.  She is not allowed to spend the night with anyone indefinitely.  I also removed texting from her phone.  And her internet usage is very limited.  She has a Facebook so that she can keep in contact with the friends she had because we moved when me and her father divorced and I made her go through her friends list with me and delete anyone who is not related to her or in her grade.  Do you think this is appropriate? Anything else you would have added?

japfield3
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 6:51 AM
1 mom liked this

I keep hearing parents talking about Lifetime movies they are showing their children about the effects of their actions-do you know of any of the titles off hand?  I am interested in finding these and showing them to her.  Thanks in advance.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Aug. 21, 2012 at 7:13 AM

This~

Quoting Barabell:

Keep the communication open.

Set ground rules appropriate to her age, and enforce them.


Gmgej
by Member on Aug. 21, 2012 at 10:40 AM

Tell her honestly why you are doing what you are doing. Tell her the truth. Show her the results of drug and alcohol addiction. Our middle son doesn't make the wisest choices, and this is what we are doing and it seems to work so far.

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