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UPDATE: Little put off by the call from DDs school

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 10:31 AM
  • 28 Replies

These last few days we have been out of town with my mother-in-law at her home. My father in law, her husband of nearly 50 years passed away 2 months ago and its been really hard on her. I had called DDs school on the first day that you could pick up your back to school packet (our schools no longer mail them you must pick them up) since we were out of town and told them. The secratary I spoke to told me not to worry, that they would simply put DDs name on the mail packet list. 

Yesterday my phone went off and it was the school. I answered it and the women asked for DD, not for her parents or anything just DD. I asked who was calling, she told me she was the high school. I told her DD was at the movies and asked if I could help. She told me she would call back and hung up.

She called 3 more times just like this, finally she called after I picked DD up, I told the women I didnt want her speaking to DD till she told me what it was about. She basically told me she just had to speak to DD about "personal" school stuff.... ummmm.... my daughter is 16, not an adult in our state. She is also my daughter thru full guardianship in lieu of adoption due to mental defect, this isnt a guardianship that just expires when she turns 18. Anyhow, I gave the phone to DD but could hear the whole thing. I could tell DD didnt like the women calling, and normally I wouldnt listen but I was worried.  The women was very rude to DD and told her how she was very irresponsible for not picking up her packet. My daughter told the secratary she had gone to help her grandmother and the women told her that with a whole summer she couldve found a better time then demanded she come pick up her packet. DD began crying, I took the phone and told the women I would be in today to pick up the packet. I told her I also wanted to speak to one of the assistent principals (because I know the Principal is on vacation in Uragugay till Thurs. my brother lives 2 houses down from him LOL). Anyhow, Im just very put off by this call, Ive never had a call where the school didnt request to speak to the parent. I asked one of my friends who is a teacher and she told me that she'd never heard of it either. Im trying to not read to much into the call or anything but still its very annoying that this women upset my daughter like that.


So it appears that I was not the only upset parent. Infact for did this to a couple incoming freshman as well, so 13/14 year olds.I was told that school policy actually requires the parent to be told. Infact state law still requires for a parent to sign off on the ability of an 18 year old to be able to check themselves out of school on a whim. I explained we have spent a large portion of the summer out of town with my mother in law, and they told me they were sorry it was a mistake that our name didnt end up on the mail list. Her defense almost sounded like she feels its the childs responsiblility to get there packet and schedule. Interesting part on that though, I have to sign the 6 documents inside of the packet and send a copy of our insurence card. So its not like even if she got the packet she could get her schedule without my knowing. LOL. Just a very upsetting thing, They told me they couldnt tell me what her punishment would be due to privacy, however I feel confident knowing enough teachers I'll learn something once school starts.

by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 10:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Gmgej
by Member on Aug. 21, 2012 at 10:34 AM

Call the principal, or go tothe school your self and confront this person. What she did was wrong and a abuse of authority.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2012 at 10:40 AM

I would do exactly what you are doing. Children are still at the whim of their parents and if this lady had a problem she should have spoken to you, the adult, not the child.

jinxmom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2012 at 11:52 AM

They want the high schoolers to take responsibility for themselves.  That used to tick me off too but I do understand their point.  I guess its time to let go [sigh]

Playitagain
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 12:13 PM


Quoting jinxmom:

They want the high schoolers to take responsibility for themselves.  That used to tick me off too but I do understand their point.  I guess its time to let go [sigh]

See not for me its not. My DD has Reactive Attatchment Disorder, she was abused and neglected as a small child and therefore doesn't understand basic social interactions or normal behaviors. She is from what the doctors can figure a 9 year old in a 16 year olds body. She looks and sounds normal but is far from it hence why her guardianship doesn't expire. I think thats what upsets me the most about something like this, DDs file has a special orange sticker on the front meaning she is special needs- mental. So basically its like somebody doing this to a 9 year old child. My daughter cant take responsibility for herself because she would end off in jail or worse. Its very difficult to explain. This women might have just cost me another $300 in therapy appointments.

japfield3
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Um... that women should be fired.  She basically bullied your child and it also sounds like your daughter is in no way equipped to deal with this situation and the school probably is aware of this.  I would speak with a supervisor as soon as possible and ask that this women be severely reprimanded for her ill behavior toward a minor.  She should also have to issue a apology to both you and your daughter, in person.  Let us all know how your situation develops and good luck! 

bizzeemom2717
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 2:12 PM
I agree, with? Never heard of this?

Quoting Gmgej:

Call the principal, or go tothe school your self and confront this person. What she did was wrong and a abuse of authority.

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lnrmom
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 2:18 PM

My girls are in high school, one of which is special needs. If someone would call EITHER of my girls and speak to them in that manner I would be not only talking to the principal but the superintendent as well. That is ridiculous.

ilovemy3boys
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 2:20 PM

My sister is special needs and she  is 19 but in the mentally about 11-12. The school calls my mom when i concerns anything at all. children in these case's no matter the physical age are not able to make choices and be responsible as a there peers.

Holland04
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Wow I hope you speak to the asst. prinicipal and that woman is fired. 

jinxmom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2012 at 2:39 PM


Quoting Playitagain:

 

Quoting jinxmom:

They want the high schoolers to take responsibility for themselves.  That used to tick me off too but I do understand their point.  I guess its time to let go [sigh]

See not for me its not. My DD has Reactive Attatchment Disorder, she was abused and neglected as a small child and therefore doesn't understand basic social interactions or normal behaviors. She is from what the doctors can figure a 9 year old in a 16 year olds body. She looks and sounds normal but is far from it hence why her guardianship doesn't expire. I think thats what upsets me the most about something like this, DDs file has a special orange sticker on the front meaning she is special needs- mental. So basically its like somebody doing this to a 9 year old child. My daughter cant take responsibility for herself because she would end off in jail or worse. Its very difficult to explain. This women might have just cost me another $300 in therapy appointments.

Then someone at the office blew it, they expect everyone to take responsibility for themselves but fail to understand children with special needs have a hard time doing that and need assistance until they can do it themselves.  I'm sorry, hopefully she will rebound from this experience. (HUGS)
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