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Would you let your 16 yr old dd date a 19 year old?


 

Poll

Question: Would you let your 16 yr old dd date a 19 yr old?

Options:

yes

no

other (please explain)


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Total Votes: 69

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Just curious because my dd thinks she should be able to date a 19 yr old who just graduated high school.

by on Sep. 6, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Replies (21-30):
atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 7, 2012 at 12:14 AM
No way!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DarlaHood
by on Sep. 7, 2012 at 2:49 AM
2 moms liked this

Not just no, but HELL NO!  There are big differences at this stage between kids that are even just a year or two apart.  I don't care how mature either one of them is.  And I don't care what the circumstances are.  I wouldn't allow it.  And I can pretty much guarantee that neither of my dd's would have ever even asked. 

To me it doesn't make sense to say, well I'm not going to set appropriate boundaries or make rules that my dd won't agree with because she will just sneak and do it anyway.  If she were to sneak, there would be serious consequences that would include the loss of her freedom and the ability for her to sneak.

They grow up quickly enough.  It is much better for them to hang out with teens her own age.  And the fact that he has so many problems makes it more important to set firm boundaries.

Sunshine2plus2
by Member on Sep. 7, 2012 at 2:50 AM

Yes. I was 15 and he was 20. We married after I graduated and were married 11 years and together 14. Had 3 beautiful children.

Ewa101
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2012 at 7:43 AM


Quoting my4littlegirls:

I was told by his "aunt" that I'm friends with that my dd is the first girl he treated right. He has a ton of problems. She also has been very disobiedient lately too. She just smashed her brand new phone thats under a 2 yr contract because she was mad. My dh is to the point that she will have to go get her own phone and account because we shouldn't have to pay for her breaking phones (3rd one in a year)

Quoting wakymom:

It would depend. How mature is she? Were they friends before he graduated? If she's pretty mature and responsible for her age and they had already been friends, I might not be happy, but I wouldn't try to say "No way!".

 

 

 

 

 


To me it doesn't look like a good relationship, regardless of age difference.  What does it mean "she's the first girl he treated right?"  That would scare me right there.  How many other girls did he go out with?  What did he do to them?  Also, her behavior seems to be a little immature.  All in all, I would try to talk her out of it.

fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2012 at 8:15 AM

Actually at 16 it  isn't illegal.  They are of consenting age at 16 regardless of the age of the male at that point at least in my state they are.

Quoting kirbymom:

I would say no. First of all, it is illegal. I would not want anyone being charged with statatory rape if I could prevent that kind of a situation.  Second, a I am not comfortable with a person who is supposed to be done with the high school scene and moving up in the world towards college and work and making their life about finding a career and getting themselves situated as a functioning adult and then turning around and heading back to where they just headed away from. We are supposed to be going forward in our life's adventures. And I know that a 19 yr old and a 16 yr old are going to be on the same page in life. Why would we parents add to what amounts to two people who think differently and by al rights should, because of the direction each one is taking in their respective lives. That is, imho, asking for trouble. Trouble that could be prevented from ever even happening. 


captainjack
by Member on Sep. 7, 2012 at 9:00 AM

Yes I did

missybest
by on Sep. 7, 2012 at 9:39 AM

No way!  There is not a 16 year old alive who is emotionally prepared to date a 19 year old.  What are you thinking?  She is also a minor with an adult, so to speak.  If they have sex, which is what is being set up here, he could face rape charges being with a minor.  You are the adult and BOTH your very young daughter and this very young "adult" need to be protected.

atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 7, 2012 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this
Even if its legal it doesn't make it right.


Quoting fullxbusymom:

Actually at 16 it  isn't illegal.  They are of consenting age at 16 regardless of the age of the male at that point at least in my state they are.

Quoting kirbymom:

I would say no. First of all, it is illegal. I would not want anyone being charged with statatory rape if I could prevent that kind of a situation.  Second, a I am not comfortable with a person who is supposed to be done with the high school scene and moving up in the world towards college and work and making their life about finding a career and getting themselves situated as a functioning adult and then turning around and heading back to where they just headed away from. We are supposed to be going forward in our life's adventures. And I know that a 19 yr old and a 16 yr old are going to be on the same page in life. Why would we parents add to what amounts to two people who think differently and by al rights should, because of the direction each one is taking in their respective lives. That is, imho, asking for trouble. Trouble that could be prevented from ever even happening. 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 7, 2012 at 10:24 AM
2 moms liked this
What's a 19 yo want with a 16 yo????
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2012 at 10:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Well I would be okay with it, if the said male was still in HS and so was the said female.  You can have a 19yr old senior and a 16yr old junior depending on when their birthdays fall.  So sometimes it is perfectly fine imo.  However, if the girl is in HS and boy graduated already then no I am not okay with it. 

Quoting atlmom2:

Even if its legal it doesn't make it right.


Quoting fullxbusymom:

Actually at 16 it  isn't illegal.  They are of consenting age at 16 regardless of the age of the male at that point at least in my state they are.

Quoting kirbymom:

I would say no. First of all, it is illegal. I would not want anyone being charged with statatory rape if I could prevent that kind of a situation.  Second, a I am not comfortable with a person who is supposed to be done with the high school scene and moving up in the world towards college and work and making their life about finding a career and getting themselves situated as a functioning adult and then turning around and heading back to where they just headed away from. We are supposed to be going forward in our life's adventures. And I know that a 19 yr old and a 16 yr old are going to be on the same page in life. Why would we parents add to what amounts to two people who think differently and by al rights should, because of the direction each one is taking in their respective lives. That is, imho, asking for trouble. Trouble that could be prevented from ever even happening. 




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