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Delicate situation

Posted by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:31 AM
  • 24 Replies

I wa hoping there was a mom or two who has some advice on how to deal with this situation.  My 13 year old son has breasts.  He has had the extra tissue since around 10 years old.  His dad had the same problem when he was growing up so we have been watching the situation and meeting with his primary care doctor and pediatric endocrinologist to address any medical issues involved.  But, there is nothing they have been able to do or diagnose until he starts puberty.  Just recently, he has started to smell and he says he has some pubic hair.  No armpit hair yet though.  So, if we assume he is in the beginning stages of puberty, they should be able to start testing and diagnosing if there is any problem.  In the meantime, I have a 13 year old, very sensitive boy who is so self concious about this.  During school, he is a champion at disguising the issue.  But, PE is the problem.  We are waiting for a compression shirt (those snug fitting shirts worn by atheletes) to come and see if that will disguise the problem enough for him to be comfortable changing for PE.  I am also going to get him set up with a counselor.  Does anyone else have any ideas or suggestions or what have you done to address it?  Any suggestions would be GREAT!!

by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:31 AM
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by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 1:27 PM
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I'm sorry, I don't have a child going through this, but all my life I have been EXTREMELY self-conscious. I was just wondering if since this is such an issue if there is a way for him to not have to do PE? I know a dr excuse would probably be required. You'd have to tell SOMEONE at the school, a counselor or maybe even the principal, confidentially of course, about your sons problem, but it seems maybe do-able. He may get bullied if the other boys see him changing for PE. I don't know, it just seems that there has to be a way for him to get out of PE, maybe he could go to study hall instead, I don't know what he would tell friends about WHY he doesn't have PE anymore, some excuse such as another less embarassing medical problem or something? I don't know, just a thought. If it were my son, I would do everything in my power to have him not have to take PE until this physical issue gets resolved. Kids can be so cruel these days.
by Lorelai on Sep. 11, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Is it just the changing part he is having issues with, or PE itself? If it's just changing, I would suggest changing in the bathroom for the time being, until you get the compression shirt (which I hope helps!).

*hugs* for your son!
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by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 2:55 PM

It isn't just the changing part.  It is very noticable if he just has on a tshirt.  I am hoping this other shirt will disguise it and we won't have any issues.  I talked to the teacher and she offered to find a way to allow him to change alone if that is what is needed.  If not, I might have to look at how to get him out of that class on those days.  Offer to make up the activity in those classes by substituting his tae kwon do or something.  I appreciate the input and would welcome any other suggestions moms might have!!

by Bronze Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 3:23 PM


by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Compression shirt or what my dd wears is called a binder. Cant tell she has breasts. She is wanting to be a boy.
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by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 3:40 PM

I searched all over last year for something like that.  Where do I get one?  I think that is exactly what I was thinking of last year but couldn't find anything that matched what I was thinking.

by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 6:14 PM

My son doesn't have problem likes yours but he always like to change PE Clothes in the stall (Like you go in the bathroom and close the door, that's where he changes his clothes) so maybe suggest for your son to go in to the stall and change it there? So none of kids have to see this.

by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 9:37 PM

 I think you are on the right track with the compression shirt. I have heard that if there isn't a medical explanation, it can be genetic, surgery is always an option to fix something like this, may seem extreme, but I'm sure is very important to your DS. Good luck with everything!

by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 4:18 AM

I agree that if it causes him to be very self-conscious, I would consider surgery at some point.  It probably would be laproscopic, to remove excess tissue, and maybe to tighten the skin.  It's a function of body type and weight, and it sucks.  As long as you research it so it's safe, I would think about it.  I don't know if you have to wait until he finishes puberty though.  That would be a bummer because boys don't stop growing until their 20's.  Do some research and consult with a reputable and skilled plastic surgeon.

by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 8:29 AM
I read up on this when my DS started puberty he has a very small amount of tissue. From what I learned there are hormone options and lastly surgery but like you said he has to be pubescent for them to do the testing. For now the compression shirt should help a lot. If not I would think his dr may have an idea on what kind of undergarment he could wear to help. Good luck.
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