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Blood on the Dance Floor?

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I have a 12 yo dd who went shopping with some friends and bought a new hoodie with "Blood on the Dance Floor" on it. I didn't think much of it and was happy to see that she got to have some independence and make a purchase of something she likes. A couple of weeks later, I noticed in one of her school notebooks that she had written lyrics from this band. Whoa, yep, call me a prude, whatever, but it was nasty, vulgar and very violent. Wondering if anyone here has any comments. 

by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 9:30 PM
Replies (31-40):
diaperstodating
by Angel on Sep. 25, 2012 at 8:59 PM

This

Quoting sahlady:

never heard of it

 

lol - i actually thought you were going to tell us about a fight at a school dance.


diaperstodating
by Angel on Sep. 25, 2012 at 9:00 PM

I have never heard of the band Blood on the Dance Floor.

wondergirl
by Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 10:14 PM


Quoting KeriAZ:

Its played at my house full blast. Love em.
Wow, really? I just don't see how anyone can be ok with this. How do you listen to this and not find it degrading  and  offensive?



DarlaHood
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 10:19 PM

For the record, I also generally avoided censorship with my kids when possible.  But it is our job as parents to set healthy limits and boundaries.  Many things can be teaching topics rather than censorship opportunities.  Since these tweens are already listening to it, a discussion is in order.  However to say you're totally against censorship is not realistic for a responsible parent.  I would hope you would not let your 12 year old watch porn.  That would be censorship.  

This content is simply not suitable for teens - and certainly not tweens.  I recognize some might disagree, and I know one mom said she blares it and likes it.  However, in my opinion, we have to set examples for our kids.  I'm already concerned about the oversexualization of our girls.  Singing along to messages of extreme disrespect, violence, and sexual themes in forms that are degrading and disrespecting of girls is not o.k. with me.  It's not the message I want my girls listening to - even as adults - and if I had a son, I would not want him absorbing these attitudes and sentiments toward women. 

Quoting FindersKeepers:

We have a family iTunes accounts and when my DD picked some music by Ke$ha I talked to my DH about it.  

Years before when DS got into violent metal, I was concerned and DH said 'we don't believe in censorship"... which is true so we let DS select his music.   We talked to him about how music makes you FEEL a certain way how his selection in music could cause an adrenaline addition and make him feel angry... .. Also why he should be respectful to not play that type of music anywhere that other people are forced to listen to it.

So when DD got into music with sexual lyrics DH and I discussed it again and agreed that we do not believe in censorship.   I did talk to DD separately and ask if she understood the lyrics, some she did not.   I explained why as a woman I do not like music with lyrics that detail violence against women.   After our talk she said she didn't like the song that much anyway and asked to delete them from her iTunes herself. 



KeriAZ
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 11:03 PM
Doesnt bother me one bit. Like the music

Quoting wondergirl:



Quoting KeriAZ:

Its played at my house full blast. Love em.
Wow, really? I just don't see how anyone can be ok with this. How do you listen to this and not find it degrading  and  offensive?



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Sep. 25, 2012 at 11:16 PM

Never heard of them.

FindersKeepers
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 11:34 PM

Uh... not sure why you jumped directly to porn.... but No.    Your comment is a bit overboard for the topic of music that this question is about.  

The point of my post is that my 12 yo did not really even understand what the words of the song were talking about.... since she was singing along we discussed it and she choose on her own not to listen to it anymore.   In my experience kids have the reasoning capacity to make good choices when they feel they have a voice.   If we just banned the music then they would go behind our backs.   We did not ban it, but we discussed what it was saying she didn't like it anymore. 

Quoting DarlaHood:

For the record, I also generally avoided censorship with my kids when possible.  But it is our job as parents to set healthy limits and boundaries.  Many things can be teaching topics rather than censorship opportunities.  Since these tweens are already listening to it, a discussion is in order.  However to say you're totally against censorship is not realistic for a responsible parent.  I would hope you would not let your 12 year old watch porn.  That would be censorship.  

This content is simply not suitable for teens - and certainly not tweens.  I recognize some might disagree, and I know one mom said she blares it and likes it.  However, in my opinion, we have to set examples for our kids.  I'm already concerned about the oversexualization of our girls.  Singing along to messages of extreme disrespect, violence, and sexual themes in forms that are degrading and disrespecting of girls is not o.k. with me.  It's not the message I want my girls listening to - even as adults - and if I had a son, I would not want him absorbing these attitudes and sentiments toward women. 

Quoting FindersKeepers:

We have a family iTunes accounts and when my DD picked some music by Ke$ha I talked to my DH about it.  

Years before when DS got into violent metal, I was concerned and DH said 'we don't believe in censorship"... which is true so we let DS select his music.   We talked to him about how music makes you FEEL a certain way how his selection in music could cause an adrenaline addition and make him feel angry... .. Also why he should be respectful to not play that type of music anywhere that other people are forced to listen to it.

So when DD got into music with sexual lyrics DH and I discussed it again and agreed that we do not believe in censorship.   I did talk to DD separately and ask if she understood the lyrics, some she did not.   I explained why as a woman I do not like music with lyrics that detail violence against women.   After our talk she said she didn't like the song that much anyway and asked to delete them from her iTunes herself. 

 



DarlaHood
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 11:45 PM

I don't disagree with your approach.  i would have done the same.  But if my 12 yr old didn't come to the conclusion that your dd did, I would then tell her that I understood we disagreed, but as the parent, my decision was that she wouldn't be listening to that.  My point about the porn is that we do sometimes have to censor because our kids do have access to inappropriate material. These particular lyrics are very sexual in nature - perhaps not visually, but what they describe is sexually graphic and violent.

Yes, she may go behind your back, but she will still understand your values.  However, it is faulty reasoning to choose not to set healthy boundaries because your kids will then just go behind your back.  That could be said about many things that we still would not let our children do.  Hopefully there is enough respect and trust in your relationship that they choose not to go behind your back on most occasions.

Quoting FindersKeepers:

Uh... not sure why you jumped directly to porn.... but No.    Your comment is a bit overboard for the topic of music that this question is about.  

The point of my post is that my 12 yo did not really even understand what the words of the song were talking about.... since she was singing along we discussed it and she choose on her own not to listen to it anymore.   In my experience kids have the reasoning capacity to make good choices when they feel they have a voice.   If we just banned the music then they would go behind our backs.   We did not ban it, but we discussed what it was saying she didn't like it anymore. 

Quoting DarlaHood:

For the record, I also generally avoided censorship with my kids when possible.  But it is our job as parents to set healthy limits and boundaries.  Many things can be teaching topics rather than censorship opportunities.  Since these tweens are already listening to it, a discussion is in order.  However to say you're totally against censorship is not realistic for a responsible parent.  I would hope you would not let your 12 year old watch porn.  That would be censorship.  

This content is simply not suitable for teens - and certainly not tweens.  I recognize some might disagree, and I know one mom said she blares it and likes it.  However, in my opinion, we have to set examples for our kids.  I'm already concerned about the oversexualization of our girls.  Singing along to messages of extreme disrespect, violence, and sexual themes in forms that are degrading and disrespecting of girls is not o.k. with me.  It's not the message I want my girls listening to - even as adults - and if I had a son, I would not want him absorbing these attitudes and sentiments toward women. 

Quoting FindersKeepers:

We have a family iTunes accounts and when my DD picked some music by Ke$ha I talked to my DH about it.  

Years before when DS got into violent metal, I was concerned and DH said 'we don't believe in censorship"... which is true so we let DS select his music.   We talked to him about how music makes you FEEL a certain way how his selection in music could cause an adrenaline addition and make him feel angry... .. Also why he should be respectful to not play that type of music anywhere that other people are forced to listen to it.

So when DD got into music with sexual lyrics DH and I discussed it again and agreed that we do not believe in censorship.   I did talk to DD separately and ask if she understood the lyrics, some she did not.   I explained why as a woman I do not like music with lyrics that detail violence against women.   After our talk she said she didn't like the song that much anyway and asked to delete them from her iTunes herself. 





pasteeater
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 11:48 PM
According to my son it's a very violent band.
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KeriAZ
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 1:00 AM
Maybe u people need to check out the other lyrics. Not all are like that. Some need to not get bent out of shape. Lets see.. Remember Twisted Sister going to the congress abt their lyrics or Marilyn Manson?
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