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Angry Aspie Son

Posted by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:32 PM
  • 8 Replies

HI e1. I am a mom of 4. My youngest son was dx ppd at age 5, then at 12 dx was changed to aspbergers. He is now almost 14. and angry about 75% of the time. every tiny thing annoys him as well. his cursing has gotten out of hand, esp the F word. He does seem to be able to control that word about 80% of the time only when his dad is around. guess he is comfortable enough to let his anger out at all now, but i've bout had enough of it. it is a constant battle.

he is on focaline and abilify only. if anyone has suggestions please let me know. he is also non-compliant at home and school when it comes to trying to get him to do any type of work.    tyvm  Luv

by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:32 PM
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by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:12 PM
Well, maybe dad needs to play a larger roll with the child.. if he is the only one that can sorta control the out burst seems there's a reason why he feels he shouldn't act like this around him.Heck my some ate 17/15 almost 16 and cuss like sailors we both constantly have to get on to them.. they are more afraid if dad the me too...
by Barbara on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:59 PM

Does he go to counseling regularly?

by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:04 PM

I was wondering the same thing.

Quoting Barabell:

Does he go to counseling regularly?

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:09 AM
I was wondering about professional resources as well?

Quoting Barabell:

Does he go to counseling regularly?

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by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:37 AM

If he's not in counseling, he really does need to be.  One-on-one, and maybe even a very small group of boys his age also working on anger and social skills.  He may be angry and frustrated because he feels victimized by others.  Many times kids on the spectrum don't have the building blocks needed to be able to interpret social cues or to empathize.  That can be really isolating and lonely because when you can't connect with people on an emotional level, it is difficult to have friendships.  It is also creates situations where they might feel bullied or ganged up on when in reality they are having difficulty dealing with the other kids because they don't catch or respond to the social cues involved in play. If you take him to a good counselor, they will have specific curriculum and activities to support his social development, which can reduce his anger.

Start with his school.  Find out if they have resources or can point you to resources in your community.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:56 AM
It is possible this f word is a tic.... Tics are common with autism. But as the concences(sorry for spelling error) professional help is a lead way. And his mess may need to be changed. My son is on adderall and abilify. His psychiatrist doesn't want to up the dosage because adderall will cancel out the adderall. So look at all perspectives.
Also counseling for the entire family wouldn't hurt. While people and children with aspies are brilliant in their own they are like most with autism.
Best wishes
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by Kimberly on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:48 PM
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My 18 yr old son has asperger's, too.  He has never been medicated, so I have no experience with that.   How do you and his Dad parent differently?    How does your son relate to you as opposed to his Dad?   My sons world revolves around logic.   There is black or white, grey does not exist in his world.    I learned to deal with him by being short and to the point.   "If I hear the F word from you, I will confiscate your video games."   Consistancy is key.   Mean what you say, say only what you mean."     Dh, on the other hand, was prone to long lectures (our son tuned him out after 3 sentences) and unrealistic threats, ie "Say it again and the video games go in the trash!"      Our son knew he would not throw away the games, so he ignored the threat.  

What matters to your son?   What makes him tick?   Music?  Computer?  Video games?  Sports?  That is your leverage.      

With aspergers, his world revolves around himself.   His level of empathy for others is low.   He will do something if it is worth his while.....such as schoolwork.   What's in it for him?

Talk to him....and more importantly, listen to him.     Why is he so angry?   What makes him happy?    I cannot tell you how many nights I sat in my son's room listening to him, listening to his favorite music...if he was in the mood to talk.....I was there.  Any opportunity to connect with him and try to understand his world, take it!         You know him better than anyone.   You are his liason to the world.  

by on Oct. 23, 2012 at 10:24 AM

We had a meeting at his school and also another one with his psychiatrist. It was decided to change his meds around and add depakote at night.  He is doing better with his attitude. He is also spending much more time with his brother that is 10 years older than him. (something that he stated was very imortant to him.) He still plays video games most times but now with his brother and the cursing has subsided a bit. Thank you everyone for your comments. I do have a question though.  Can depakote cause blisters on his face?

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