I'm new here and searching for advice, opinions, experiences on having a pregnant teen daughter.
I'm devastated. My 15 year old daughter and her 17 yr old boyfriend have informed me this week she is pregnant. She will be 16 in November. She is a sophmore in high school. I also have a 6 year old daughter. I am a single mother, 36 years old, work full time as an Executive Assistant. I have struggled to raise my girls in the best environment possible. I have prided myself on working hard and NOT living off welfare.
I had many many conversations with my teen and prior to teen years about sex etc. She has been on the birth control pill, and was recently provided the birth control patch. She chose to to use it. The boyfriend she has been with off and on for a year and he assured me he was VERY responsible with condoms etc. Obviously this hasn't been the case.
I am pro-choice. I do think termination would be the best outcome in this situation as I believe it would give my daughter a second chance at reaching her goals and becoming an adult before bringing a child into this world. My daughter is against abortion. Adoption was discussed but she doesn't see going through a pregnancy and giving the child "away" as a good option. Honestly, I'm not sure I could bare the pain either.
SO it looks like she will be having this baby and keeping him/her. When I ask her what her best scenario in this situation is she says she wants to live with the boyfriend and his family (his family are Hispanics, mother doesn't speak english, two younger siblings in the home, parents work multiple jobs cleaning, construction, local coffee shop, they do have a nice home in a nice neighborhood). The boyfriend does have two jobs and is fincancially responisible as of now. No drugs or alcohol issues that I am aware of or suspect. My daughter says his family has a more stable life and can offer her and baby more support.
I am completely confused and emotionally wrecked over this. I am now facing having to decide whether I make her stay with me and her 6 yr old sister for the next two years. I am not the type to raise this baby for her or make it easy for her. I want to help. I want to guide her through this but I don't want to make it my burden to bare. This is her decision and I want her to be responsible for it. I don't know how this will affect my little one. My dating life (who will want to be with me now having a pregnant teen!). How financially it will effect us. I don't make enough money to support another child. My daughter thinks that her and boyfriend will eventually get married when they are older. She doesn't envision being a single mother as I am.
I would appreciate any input on this situation. I have seen a counselor myself. It was suggested I find a support group for myself and my daughter. But I am having a hard time finding one for myself.
Part of me wants to finish raising my teen and put my foot down, even if it means my household and life with a baby will change. The other part of me wants her to own her "Adult" choice and let her go live with boyfriend. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!