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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Expressing themselves

Posted by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 3:26 PM
  • 90 Replies
1 mom liked this

My DD is 15 and I am very proud of her. She has her own style. It may not be what I would do, but, it works for her. She has bleached blonde hair, wears different colored hair extensions, puts purple chalk in her hair sometimes, (it's temporary and washes out so that she can change the color if she wants), wears dark black eyeliner and mascara, ripped jeans or some other color skinny jeans, band tee shirts and listens to heavy metal music. She loves groups like Black Veil Brides, Blood on the Dance Floor, Falling in Reverse and Asking Alexandria. She hates Slipknot and that I am grateful for and can't stand the (as she calls it) prep style. This looks great on her. She wants piercings and I have agreed to allow her to have one cartlege piercing on each ear. She knows that when she gets older, then, I will listen to her arguement on the little side piercing on the nose but nothing more.  She doesn't ask for a tattoo, because she feels that she is too young for it and I will agree with that for right now. Personally, I believe she should never get a tattoo even at the ripe old age of 90.

But, I read responses to some of the questions about dressing and self expression and I have to wonder what exactly is wrong with me?

I let my dd do this because I see nothing wrong with it. She doesn't get picked on in school and most kids look up to her. She has a bf and he's just as sweet as she is. He respects her very much. Kids talk to her about everything and she gives them honest answers about respecting themselves and their bodies. I think that she's great, but, according to a lot of you, she's weird and I am a bad mom for letting her do this.

Am I? Show me what the big deal is?forgive the eyes, the light hit her at the wrong time.

Edit: I want to thank all of you precious ladies who gave me such encouraging words. I have met so many moms not just on here but in other places who look at my DD and then tell me that they would never allow their kids to look so (and I quote) "weird or hideous". I used to get angry. But lately, I had begun to question myself as a mom. My DD has never heard what other moms have said about her and I will never tell her. I know that it would really hurt her and that's truly ashamed because if the kids don't judge her, what gives the parents the right to judge her? You guys (I want to say y'all but, I know that you all are not from the South and I want to be a little more grammatically correct) are so wonderful and I have been blessed.

by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 3:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 19, 2012 at 4:05 PM
I didn't allow it. They never asked but probably they knew the answer. At 18 and 21 they wouldn't. Not knocking you dd. Not for my girls.
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blondie805
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 4:06 PM

I understand that you didn't allow it. But why?

Quoting atlmom2:

I didn't allow it. They never asked but probably they knew the answer. At 18 and 21 they wouldn't. Not knocking you dd. Not for my girls.


atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 19, 2012 at 4:10 PM
Just think if you wanna be like that you can be over 18. At 21 my dd has 2 tattoos on her tops of her feet. She knows we hate them and that is fine. She is 21. She swears no more ever. At least most of the time no one sees them. I see no reason to be crazy from the norm.


Quoting blondie805:

I understand that you didn't allow it. But why?

Quoting atlmom2:

I didn't allow it. They never asked but probably they knew the answer. At 18 and 21 they wouldn't. Not knocking you dd. Not for my girls.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
wearymoon
by Member on Oct. 19, 2012 at 4:32 PM
2 moms liked this

I missed the posts you're referencing but from my own experience with my kids, I don't see anything wrong with you or your daughgter. Let her have fun. My sons were hell bent on expressing themselves. I did oppose in the beginning but I would look at them one day and would see platinum blond hair, ripped up jeans etc and the next one would have bright red hair..so I figured as long as the grades were o.k., they're not hurting themselves or anyone and they're not getting picked on, so why not. Let them have fun expressing themselves and get it out of their system while they're young. Most of the times its a passing phase anyway.

lov1nlif3
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 4:37 PM
3 moms liked this

I think she looks just fine and it sounds like she is a great person. Who cares what other moms say. They are judging your daughter (and you I guess) by looks...and not stopping to hear what is on the inside.  =)

meg1012
by Member on Oct. 19, 2012 at 4:53 PM
2 moms liked this

I think your daughter looks beautiful and age appropriate! I would rather my daughter have a unique style, than try to look older than she is, with revealing clothes and fake nails. Honestly, when I was in high school and from what I see at my daughter's middle school, the "scene" girls as my daughter calls it seem more well adjusted than the so called popular crowd.

robinjwright
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 5:00 PM
1 mom liked this

She needs to look fierce, because she is so sweet. Girls do that. Piercings grow in. Hair grows out. Nothing permanent. As far as the music, my tiny preppy SD listens to much "angrier" music than my daughter-who-was-goth/punk ever did. 

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Oct. 19, 2012 at 8:45 PM

Here's my DD and a few of her phases. As you can see, I have no problem with expression...




Her at Prom a few years ago and her shoes...the shoes made the outfit lol

he


One of her through the years..


drfink
by Emily on Oct. 19, 2012 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Is she honest ,compassionate ,ethical ,respectful,beginning to make plans for her future,hopefully making grades that will help her get into any college or training she needs ?

If so then I see no issues with how she dresses.

That doesn't fit my kids or family's style but that is MY family.Your family needs to fit your family's style.

drfink
by Emily on Oct. 19, 2012 at 9:26 PM

Love her prom outfit ...FANTASTIC shoes.

Not quite as unique but my daughter wore a kind of Marilyn Monroe ,a little more modest , 7 year itch style dress for her sweet sixteen with PINK western boots.We talked about her shoe choice ,she felt strongly so they are just shoes.My mother was frantic ,my sister finally told my mom just to stop.That my daughter was who she is and those that knew her loved her for being who she is.Despite my moms dire predictions of my daughter's future based on her non traditional choice of footwear my daughter graduated with honors ,college freshman class pres ,was an officer in Cotillion ,currently an officer in her sorority.and in her nursing association on campus.Even if she dresses a bit outside the norm....imagine that ; )

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Here's my DD and a few of her phases. As you can see, I have no problem with expression...




Her at Prom a few years ago and her shoes...the shoes made the outfit lol

he


One of her through the years..



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