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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Concerned

Posted by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:14 PM
  • 9 Replies
I've noticed that my son has been looking up adult sites on his iPod. He is 17, and although I know that being curious as a teen is normal..I am worried that he is getting the wrong idea about sex. I told him years ago that sex was about love and affection and that it was a beatiful thing. He is an all around good kid, and other than this I am not worried about him. I have already confronted him, and he assured me that he didn't know about it. Maybe I just worry...is this normal?
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by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:14 PM
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sleeblended
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:31 PM

This is just my personal opinion, but I would have taken it away from him.  Adult sites are addictive and can be bad.  He needs to know limits...especially in your house.  I'm assuming he's using your Wi-Fi?  What if he accidentally got onto a website that was illegal and got into trouble?  It would be your Wi-Fi, your house, you would have some responsibility there.  Not trying to scare you, I'm just thinking in my own shoes.  Maybe it was a one time thing.  I would be more nosy about what he was looking at and see where it leads. 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:48 PM

Normal?  Yes.    Okay? No.    I would explain your concerns to him.  If the only talk you've had about sex is the one you described.....start talking!     At 17, he likely knows a lot more about the subject than you think.




PurpleHazey
by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 9:51 PM

Oh boy, heck my teens did that before 17...normal!

PurpleHazey
by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 9:51 PM


Quoting boys2men2soon:

Normal?  Yes.    Okay? No.    I would explain your concerns to him.  If the only talk you've had about sex is the one you described.....start talking!     At 17, he likely knows a lot more about the subject than you think.

It sure is normal

PurpleHazey
by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 9:52 PM


Quoting sleeblended:

This is just my personal opinion, but I would have taken it away from him.  Adult sites are addictive and can be bad.  He needs to know limits...especially in your house.  I'm assuming he's using your Wi-Fi?  What if he accidentally got onto a website that was illegal and got into trouble?  It would be your Wi-Fi, your house, you would have some responsibility there.  Not trying to scare you, I'm just thinking in my own shoes.  Maybe it was a one time thing.  I would be more nosy about what he was looking at and see where it leads. 

Agreed

atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 7, 2012 at 9:53 PM
I am against porn. Degrading of women. I would have taken it and told him why.
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annie2244
by Silver Member on Nov. 7, 2012 at 11:59 PM

Can you block access to those sites on his ipod or via your web access?

I wouldn't take his ipod. It is normal and he doesn't sound like a bad kid nor spending tons of time doing this. So, IMO, I'd see it as a fabulous opportunity to explain repeatedly over the next year (while he's living with you before presumably heading off to college) why you feel the way you do about porn. So - you give your views repeatedly over the next 9 months, and your DH does as well.

IMO, porn is. It's not inherently evil. But real women don't look like that. Real women aren't on the planet to service guys. The sex act as portrayed in porn is boringly repetitive, all about the act, over and over and over again. Porn to occasionally get excited I suppose serves a function. But beyond that it's a vortex that sucks some guys in to a collosal waste of time, and a twisted view of what sexual relationships are, and what women are.

Taking it away robs the ability of him to take in your view, take in your DH's view, sneak in another view of it, think about what you've said, then listen to you spout off on your view again a couple months later, listen to your DH remark on some misogynist aspect of some tv show that veers off into his spouting his view of porn again to your son, he sneaks in another view of porn, now looking at it with even a more jaded eye, etc.

We have filters on our computers. I never thought about the cell phone, the ipod internet access. I'll have to investigate filters. Filters aren't foolproof, they just decrease the incidence. If my teens occasionally run across some porn somehow in high school? Can't get too upset over it. They are pretty level headed, pretty cerebral and educated, can't see this ever being a big thing in their lives.

bizzeemom2717
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 2:02 AM
If you haven't talked to him since the talk years ago about sex being part of a loving relationship, ect it's time to start talking again. I wouldn't take his iPod away, in less than a year he will be old enough to go rent a porn movie if he wants. Instead I would talk to him and explain how porn isn't a real representation of sex and how degrading it is to women, ect
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fammatthews4
by Trisha on Nov. 8, 2012 at 5:09 AM
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He doesn't know about what? Is he denying going on those sites? It is normal for boys that age to be curious about sex and the female body etc. however you need to decide how far you are willing for him to take it. In this house porn is not allowed. So decide on your stand on it, then sit him down and explain to him why you are making those rules. If it wast son and he denied being on those sites even though I had the proof, he would be loosing access to the computer for awhile.
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