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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Help - my 13 year old is having/had sex!!!!

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 9:39 PM
  • 22 Replies

Ok, so we rent half of a house from a nice guy - who happens to have a 14 year old son... the kids are dating, and it is very awkward, because it makes things just too convienient for them to do things... I know - move.. but long story short, my landlord let me move in here becayuse I was engaged to an abusive alcholic and I am not on my feet yet.. so I cant move.

So, I get home from work (work messed up my schedule and I had to work until 7 - home at 8 - the other night... I got home, the door was shut to the boys room... and I knocked and opened it.. well, to see 2 bare butt teens hustle to the other side of the room because they were bottomless.  So, I found out they were going to have sex.  I spoke to my daughter with out freaking out, believing that that would have been their first time... and told her I understand that kids her age experiment and it is very convienient because they are always around each other.. I requested that they keep their clothes on.. and hands OVER the clothes if they are going to get into " petting"...  both kids said ok..

Now today I had my daughter alone and was talking to her more..  I try not to freak out because I want her to talk to me.. I asked if she has already had sex, and she said - once.  OMG!!!  I told her not to worry about asking me - but if she was ever even thinking about it, I want to take her to get the pill!!

I worry that if the Father finds out, he may throw us out because obviously the kids "living together: is too much temptation.  I also want to talk to both the kids and tell them that they are too young.

Apparently, the boys best friend (same age) has sex with his girlfriend a lot.. and the boy wants to be like his friend.  My daughter said she didn't feel pressured but I don't think that is what she wants - or is ready for.

ADVISE PLEASE!!!!

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 9:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momcat437
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 9:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 I know your financial situation is fragile but you need to get out of that situation--you're right, your daughter is too young and is unable to handle sex at that age.  Live in your car if you have to!!

jdfmommy
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:18 PM

Don't assume shes being pressured because most likely that isn't the case.... If I were u I'd definitely talk to them both about not having sex but i can almost guarantee if there gonna do it there gonna do it PUT her on the pill.. I was pregnant and 15 and had my son at 16 I dont regret it and i love my hubby/babydaddyand everythings great BUT it's really hard that young and i know thats not what u want for your child.. Is there any family u can move in with? Or other friends?

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:37 AM

I'm sorry but this kind of behavior is not going to stop if you don't move or keep your daughter supervised at all time.  It's just as convient to slip out of her room and into his in the middle of the night while you sleep. 

I understand the financial situation, and you're worried about being put out, but the kid's father needs to know what his son is doing too.  It's important that every one is involved. 

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Nov. 18, 2012 at 3:52 AM
Move out, your dd is 13 and having sex with a boy who lives in the same house. You have to leave her unattended because you have to work, you have NO choice but to move ASAP like as in yesterday
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fammatthews4
by Trisha on Nov. 18, 2012 at 5:12 AM
I agree with this. As soon as you realized they liked each other you should have made arrangements for supervision. It's too late now, she needs to be removed from the situation.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Move out, your dd is 13 and having sex with a boy who lives in the same house. You have to leave her unattended because you have to work, you have NO choice but to move ASAP like as in yesterday
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marney.p
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:38 AM

Can anyone else supervise her while you are at work. Eg family or a friend?

suesues
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:32 AM

tell father and plan to move!

catchup29
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:37 AM
Our children learn from examples we set, not our words. You need to bust your butt and find a way to move. And you need to get her involved activities that will keep her mind off of boys and sex. I have a niece who started having sex at 13. She is 18 now and she is an embarrassment to the whole family. She is a slut. My brother died when she was 9. My sister in law ignored the signs and behavior. Trust me. Your daughter now has a taste and she isn't going to stop pursuing it.
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:50 AM

The other ladies are right, you have some tough choices to me, but you do need to tell the boys father. He has the right to know.

atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:09 AM
Way too young to date at that age. Move. At that young what made her even engage in inappropriate sexual conduct? You have to talk to the boys father.
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