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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Put between a rock & a hard spot

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:20 PM
  • 19 Replies
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Our school will NOT sit a kid out of a game or practice for getting bad grades till high school.  They leave it up to parents till then.  Do you think it's important to set the example if your kid is doing poorly all with grades?  My 14 yo dd is in 8th grade basketball and her grades are dropping. I'm talking F's on tests & quizzes (she just won't study for them). One of her grades has dropped to a D (which has never happened before). This isn't in just one class it's all of her classes except one that have dropped after the 1st quarter.  We are thinking of telling her that if it continues and she doesn't pull them up she will miss a game. Would you do this?

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:27 PM
Absolutely. I would give her a week and tell her she won't go to.practice or games till grades go up.
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racheal241977
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:34 PM

100% agree with this 

Quoting atlmom2:

Absolutely. I would give her a week and tell her she won't go to.practice or games till grades go up.


adamsmom0116
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:38 PM

Yes, absolutely we would SOOOO do that! As the parent, it is ultimately your decision whether or not the kid plays. You trump the coach. We have done this for grade problems, behavior issues (like missing curfew or lying), as well as for medical reasons (got clearance from the dr, but dad said still not playing). Get your grades up, take in on a game-by-game basis or wee-by-week basis to earn it back. It's tough, but effective!

Barabell
by Barbara on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:42 PM

Yes, with grades becoming that poor, we would pull our son from sports too.

Most coaches my son has had say that school comes before sports, and they would completely understand if I pull my child if his grades started to slip that badly.

Typically, his coaches do want to be updated that a kid is going to be gone from practice and games, and so I would notify the coach beforehand.

sunflowers12
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:42 PM

all of the school in the TX area follow a pretty strict policy if your grades are bellow what there supposed to be you have to sit out of whatever sport your in.. even cheer /dance.. first academics then sports... 

sabrtooth1
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:53 PM

In our house, education was the #1 priority.  Our rule about everything --schoolwork, chores, extracurriculars -- was "FIRST you work, then you play".  No work, NO PLAY.  As for all her grades dropping-- if she has always been distractible, forgetful and disorganized, but managed to pull the fat out of the fire at the last minute, I'd suspect a disorder like ADD, & that demands have simply become more than she can handle.  If she has always been a motivated, high achieving A student, and this is a 180, I'd suspect illness or some emotional or physical upset.  If she's just been middle of the road, I'd suspect a feeling of attitude and entitlement, coupled with poor choices in friends, and perhaps alcohol or drugs.  In ANY of these scenarios, the sports and extracurriculars should go immediately and completely.  That is the consequence because she has ALREADY done poorly.  If you caught her doing something else she was not allowed to do, would you say, "That's OK; just don't do it again"?

EDITED TO ADD: We did not allow TV, puters, or cellphones in our kids' rooms.  In a situation like this, they wouldn't have them in any OTHER room, either, till homework was done and checked.  When she got home from school, I'd park her next to me and say "Do your homework NOW.  And I am going to check it as you complete it."

gonecrazi
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:16 PM

 I have done this. In 8th grade ds had to leave the football team because his grades fell so bad. We wanted to know how important his education was. 

midnightmom5
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:22 PM

 I would and i have done that took my children out of games there education is so much more important.So the ansewer to the ? is yes i would and wont feel bad about it ither

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:42 PM

 

Quoting atlmom2:

Absolutely. I would give her a week and tell her she won't go to.practice or games till grades go up.

 This, they WILL do it in HS, let her get a preview of reality now. Good luck.

vampjezzabell
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:04 PM

This was an issue for me too when my daughter was in the 7th grade last year. It was hard because I didn't want her to let her team down, but at the same time when they get into high school they can't lay if their grades drop. Her middle school soccer team held their grades as standards for being aboe to play and if theyh dropped they went to the games in support, but couldn't play. So I did that for her tennis as well. It really upset her, but at the same time she was also having trouble in school and needed help. we ended up dropping oe sport all together in favor of having more time for school work. So...I think it depends on the teen and what issues might be cropping up. I think this is when you might want to talk to her teachers and see what they have to say. See if something in particular is going on. Talk to her and see if the reason she's not studying is because she's having issues with the material. It ended up that my daughter needed extra help in math, which used to be my worst subject so dropping the second sport in order to give her time for after school tutoring helped. Maybe she's having trouble on other fronts and just can't concentrate. Hope it gets better for her.

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