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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Inappropriate photos

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 12:41 PM
  • 14 Replies

So here it is. My daughter sent pictures of herself in a bra and undies a year ago, to someone who was then threatening her if she didn't send them. She had told me that someone she didn't know on FB (a fake profile I am sure) was making these threats, "If you don't send me pictures of yourself naked I will ruin your life". We laughed then of the irony, that her life would be ruined if she DIDN'T send such pictures. Apparently, the pictures were already sent by the time I found out about it.

Well the pictures have reared their ugly head in the form of someone created a twisted collage with freeze shots from some porno mixed in with these pictures of my daughter in her bra and undies with a note that "NAME is a big slut". I am so disappointed that my daughter sent these pictures. I told her regardless of who is doing this, it is ultimately her fault because she took the pictures. I have disconnected her phone temporarily (I am thinking at least two months) and deleted her Facebook and Instagram. I have decided not to ground her because I think she is going to need her friends around her right now for support. I think whoever did this is an old friend from an area we moved from two years ago.

All in all I have decided the internet can be an awful thing for young adolescents. My 13 year old got a phone at 11 and it seems like everything started to change at that point. My husband and I are so disappointed.

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsBLB
by Missi on Nov. 26, 2012 at 12:46 PM

She did this a year ago?  Has she done it since then?

vampjezzabell
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 12:53 PM
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I am about to post in a few moments about my own daughter and the use of Facebook and her phone and all of that. As far as I know (and I believe this to be true) she hasn't taken any photos or been invlved in any Facebook issues. It's definately a new era where the internet and social media is concerned. I check my daughter's phone on a regular basis and she's not allowed to have a facebook unless I have the password and if it gets changed my email is the primary email on her accoun so I am notified. Luckily she's not an avid Facebook user and her time on the internet and with her phone is limited. If I were you I would report the person who threatened her to the police and show them the messages as well as the way the photos have been used. As far as I'm concerned it's cyber bullying and there are laws in place to protect your daughter from that.

meg1012
by Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 12:54 PM

Not that I am aware of. That being said, she is not very forthcoming with me. I have seen other inappropriate behavior go on that I am not comfortable with (bad language and provocative photos [duck lips, tank tops]) so I have grounded her from her phone quite a bit in the recent months.  Amazingly enough, she didn't protest when I deleted all this stuff and disconnected her phone. She needs a break from all of it for a long while and I think she knows it.

Lorena
by Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:01 PM
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This is why I got my kids phone with no camea or internet. They are only allowed to use the computer in the office ( which you have to walk through to get to the dinning room or outside and is just off if the living room). They are also not allowed to have a Facebook.
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CandyRayne
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:06 PM
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My advice to you is to make your child feel safe to be open about everything. I wouldn't suggest being to hard on her punishment for being honest and being threatened into doing something. My daughter turns 13 the beginning of the year at which time I am going to allow her to get a facebook. I plan to tell her she can be safe to be open with me and not to feel threatened by cyber bullies. It is a good idea to limit the amount of time she is able to get on so that she doesn't center her entire life around the internet. That is the reason I am skeptical about getting my daughter a cell phone. She plays soccer, which the family takes her to and doesnt do too much outside of home. Therefore being she doesnt really need one, she just wont probably get one untl she gets a job. I don't really know though. I am still in the learning process too but my biggest advice would be to make your child feel safe to be open with you.

sleeblended
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:09 PM
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Im with vamp - you need to turn them in.  If they posted this on facebook, you can report it as inappropriate.  There was a guy that was over 18 that was sending my daughter VERY ugly private messages on FB (she was 17 at the time).  I had her password and saw them.  I printed all the messages off, then I sent him a private message and told him who I was and that I knew what he was doing and that he was doing it to other girls as well and if he didn't stop, I was going straight to the police.  I told him exactly what the police would do to him and how it would ruin his life.  He defriended her within minutes.  Maybe this person needs the same thing...even if it was facebook, it can still be tracked, they can still be scared.  If she's under 18, that's the same as producing child pornography and a child under 18 can be arrested for producing child pornography.  Maybe they need to understand what they're doing.

MrsBLB
by Missi on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:45 PM
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Sounds like you're on the right track to getting it under control.  Good luck and keep us posted.  ((hugs))

Quoting meg1012:

Not that I am aware of. That being said, she is not very forthcoming with me. I have seen other inappropriate behavior go on that I am not comfortable with (bad language and provocative photos [duck lips, tank tops]) so I have grounded her from her phone quite a bit in the recent months.  Amazingly enough, she didn't protest when I deleted all this stuff and disconnected her phone. She needs a break from all of it for a long while and I think she knows it.


meg1012
by Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 5:05 PM

Not to mention, this kind of stuff absolutely consumes me. It makes it so difficult to work, eat, etc. My hubby does not understand why it bothers me so much. "You grounded her, why are you so upset about it?" Sometimes I think it bothers me more than her even. I guess I just need to learn to let it go a little bit. She is BARELY a teenager so I am sure I have other "adventures" ahead to deal with. UGGGHH!

vampjezzabell
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:24 PM

Things of this nature tend to consume me, too. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm being a good parent while still making it comfortable for her to be able to talk to me. I wonder if our relationship will stay in tact as it goes through these changes. My own parents remind me that every single mother/daughter relationship out there goes through the same thing. We're not alone even though it sure feels that way some times. Hang in there. You're doing all the right things.

PurpleHazey
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Call the police that is bullying her.

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