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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

what I found was a scary

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:22 AM
  • 13 Replies

I found a piece of paper in my DD room that her 1st name with her boyfriends last name written all down the page.  On the side it had a heart and written inside was the words "I think I'm ready".  I almost passed out.  I know she is a 16 hormonal girl but she wears a purity ring after she made the vow to God and herself that she would wait.  I am hoping that she learned from the past, her aunt was pregnant at 16 and I was at 19.  She has heard stories from both of us how hard it was.  We have had "the talk" and many conversations about sex I don't know what else I could tell her that she doesn't already know.  Any advice??

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:32 AM
1 mom liked this
Talk to her about the slip of paper you found and about your concerns. Ask her how her relationship with her boyfriend is going? Keep the lines of communication wide open, I wouldn't panic, just make sure she feels comfortable coming to you and being open and honest with you.
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cjsix
by Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:33 AM

Maybe ask her about her and her boyfriend,just casually how he is and ...well,no big deal kind of things...how's he like ____class at school,how's ____team doing if he plays sports,things like that. Maybe in the process she will open up. Find a subtle way of letting her know that,you remember how things are when dating and that you hope she knows she can talk to you about anything.

02nana07
by Ida on Dec. 3, 2012 at 4:28 AM

 she could be talking marriage or sex you need to find out which one neither is good at that age

Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:06 AM

I suggest talking to your daughter and find out what she meant by that comment. It's possible that she could mean something else. If she is talking about sex or marriage, you still need to talk to her about it.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Keep talking!   She is 16.  Her doodling could mean anything!

Christie825
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:22 AM

Sounds to  me like she thinks she's ready. Do yourself and her a favor and forget about the purity ring and forget about your personal feelings regarding this situation and get her on some birthcontrol.

atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:30 PM


Quoting Christie825:

Sounds to  me like she thinks she's ready. Do yourself and her a favor and forget about the purity ring and forget about your personal feelings regarding this situation and get her on some birthcontrol.

This.  A ring can mean nothing at that age if she wants to have sex, she will.  If she doesn't, she won't.  You don't want a grandchild either.  I say talk to her about it and let her know IF she is going to have sex, using 2 forms of BC is a must. 

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sunflowers12
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:43 PM

all you have done is great and noble and many of us have done the same things and, guess what the kid will do what she/he wants to eventually.. its sad and it hurts us as parents and yes for those of us who are believers we have to think about the sinnerful nature... however our kids have to figure these things out for themselves, my kids don't believe like my self and my dh believes when he wants too... like when he feels the world is ending or something then he is back on his i am save and holy kick.. fortunately you can lie and fool your self, but not God... i too went through it all with my two  oldest dds but thankfully neither became pg.... now they are 21/18 and they were on their own and stuff i cant force them to do anything.. once kids get to a certain age society basically gives them the go ahead and we lose our rights as parents in many ways.. but again they do have to learn and they will not be able to learn if mom is always nit picking and in dds buss, they have to be able to sort things out for them self at some point.. you have had the talk you have had the proof you have done well momma i really don't know what else you can do but pray... 

drfink
by Emily on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:47 PM

There was a study done last year that showed the Purity Ring only delayed sexual intercourse by about 7 months The part that was a bit frightening was that girls that wore the ring were less likely to use b.c .even after having sex the first time.The girls reported feeling guilty for breaking the pledge ,deciding not to have sex again but yet did...like other sexually active teens.It seems that they had a hard time admitting to themselves they had not kept their pledge and told themselves they didn't need b.c. because it wasn't happening again.It was almost impossible to remove the ring ...it was such a flag yet brought guilt.

I know you hoped the ring would help her not become sexually active but it could if she starts having sex hinder her health...STD's and pregnancy.Time to talk to her.

Good Luck

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Dec. 3, 2012 at 3:03 PM

You need to talk to her and find out her thoughts behind the "I think I am ready" Keep talking to her about sex and the consequences.  It's great that she has a purity ring, but you still have to talk to her about birth control, etc.

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