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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

teenage daughter who will not listen and problems at school

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Hello everyone, I am new to this site and hope I can get some good advise.  I have a 13 year old daughter the last few months she has been doing awful in school does not want to do her homework, turn in assignments in on time, and failing tests. The worst thing is that she does not seem to care, we have taken away all her electronics and have tried to get her tutoring help.  Nothing works she will talk to me and tell me that she is really sorry and things will change, then next week we are having the same conversation again.  I just dont know what more to do, we help her and she takes advantage of it, we don't help her and she just fails......  Please any advice will be great.

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:39 PM
Replies (11-18):
sunflowers12
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Welcome to the teen years momma:) tell her no Christmas for her if she doesn't smarten up or if she has a phone I guess you did say you have taking it up already... No outtings no friends or sleep overs what ever you can find that will work... May take some time to find her soft spot though... Lastly find out if there's something wrong and why she keeps doing what's she is... also tell her she could end up in summer school making up for all the fooling around she doing now!!
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:07 PM

If you find the cure for this let me know

Msgme
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I had a similar problem with my son when he was in 7th grade. he decided he wasnt going to do any work.  It made it worse that no matter how much i asked his teachers would not contact me until parent teacher night. i walked out of one parent teacher in tears.  I tried groundings, taking everything away. he would improve a lil only to fall right back where he was.  He had a running bet with his friends who can fail the worst.  His Ela eachers had a system. If you fail a quiz/test two times in a row with a grade below a 60 you would get detention and a phone call home.  My sons grades were 60 then a 0 then a 60 then a 0 continous.  So one day i sat him down and asked him what he wanted to do with his life. what kinda job could he want and get without an education.  He at that time wanted to design video games.  so we went thru qualifications for that type of job and he noticed he needed an education. so then we looked at jobs he could qualify for without one.   not a whole lot.  So i pulled out the monopoly money from his game and gave him a job in the house after school.  He had to work to earn money.   he had to work to earn the money and then spend the money on things he needed.  He had to use the money to pay me rent. if he didnt pay me the rent he was locked out of his bedroom and had to sleep on the couch.  If he didnt pay his electricity he would get no electric.  he even had to pay for food.  If he didnt pay he would still get food but it would be subtracted from his pay. things as simple as doing laundry he had to pay for.   after i noticed he started trying in school again we changed his Job to school.  I got his teachers to sign a daily  which let me know he was doing his work and handing in assigments. he was still getting crappy pay but brining home good tests would give him a raise.  he started spending his time studying and doing homework to bring up his grades.  8th grade went much better and he's a freshman in HS this year and doing pretty good.  Passing all of his classes and hes alot more serious about his future.  Every now and again i notice him getting a lil lazy and just the question of wheres your monoply game kicks him into gear.

gonecrazi
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 Don't give up, I know it can be hard. But just remember she is worth it. 

lazyd
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 4:41 PM

talk to your daughter's counselor.  Even if nothing is seriously wrong, maybe they might be able to give your daughter a "wake up" call.  Also, tell your daughter that if she fails, than all her friends will go on to the next grade and she will be left behind.  Her friends (although harsh) will make fun of her. 

DU1754
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:51 PM

Monopoly money is a GREAT idea I am for sure going to do that, I never thought to put it into terms like that.  Thanks!!!

DU1754
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:53 PM

Lazyd- I have done both of those things and it has not worked either.

vlynn.iowa
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:51 AM

Been there done that.  Finally had my daughter do her homework at the kitchen table under supervision.  I also banned her from her bedroom.  She had to spend time with other family members.  You may also want to sit down and ask her what she wants to do with her future.  Sometimes helping them see past high school gives them the incentive to do better.

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