Be firm... be cautious... what do i do? DD closing up more and more!! HELP!
So this morning to conclude my "talks" with my DD (17 yo) after catching her halfway in the act with her bf at our home ( see my older post)... First of all, I have kept a good composure through this, I did not over react when I caught them, I spoke to her rationally and told her of my "expectations" after catching the two of them.. and we moved on, under CLOSE supervision at our home.
This morning I tried to simply chat with her while she was getting ready for school - not even in such a way that I asked about anything super personal.. i believe i just simply asked how long they have been seeing each other, and she replied " I dunno".. Uh- I'm sorry, how do you NOT KNOW?
Obviously she isnt even wanting to open - Well I guess at this point I took huge offense to this!
Why can't she answer such simple and harmless a question... if she can't be straight with me on this what else is she not telling me?! And here I am trying to play buffer for her and her somewhat strict father, I got to the point where her dad would not usually let he even have a BF to her having him over, all because I spoke to her father rationally to give her a chance and to trust her... I am not so much trying to be a "buddy" but more so showing her that I trust her and I am trying to give her leniency where possible.
I've been trying to call her now for over an hour - she's still waiting to get picked up at school by her dad... and she wont answer my calls or texts! I know she gets them because she always answer my texts after school when I ask how she is...
EXCUSE ME?! Am I the bad guy here? Is she purposely avoiding me???
Is it not my job to want to know what goes on my daughters life? Is it that unreasonable to ask that simple a question? Goodness! What if I asked more serious questions?
When she did this this morning, I also told her... If she was can't be mature enough to discuss simple things with me, that does not make me confirdent that she can handle a relationship maturely. I mean really! If she can't openly tell me simple "how her day went" - what else is she not telling me that is more important????
This is driving me NUTS! Be firm? Don't be firm? Be direct ... don't be to judgemental... where do i place myslef so she understands I am concerned- I am her mother and this is my job!