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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

My teen is having sex!

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:49 AM
  • 11 Replies

I am FURIOUS! I knew my DD2 had previous engaged in 'extra curricular' activities with her bf, they broke up, she was regretful that it happened. They are currently back together, and when we went to the dr for her annual today, she ran a pregnancy test which tells me they're still at it. :( She has plans for college and possibly the military. Her GPA isn't bad...3.3....she's taking AP classes, has a part time job and is interning with a local police dept. She's not a bad kid. The problem this the other half. NO ONE likes him, our family, her dad has forbidden him to come over here, the entire family doesn't care for him, her friends, no one. His own dad even ships him off to the grandparents 4 days out of the week. He whines and omplains and tries to get people to feel sorry for him. I set phone rules for her, being that she has so much on her plate I restrict phone use until 10pm, then they're supposed to be off. He still calls/txts her past that. He's not allowed in her car, yet she will pick him up for school sometimes. Now I know she is just as responsible for her actions, but I also feel if he gave one iota he wouldn't ewant to do anything that woiuld get her in trouble. The fact she is willing to chance screwing up her future for this loser floors me.

My question is: being that she's not 18 yet (May 2013) I have every desire to keep her from seeing him outside of school (he's a yr behind her).  Now I know its her decision who she sleeps with and technically it is, per say, but I feel as a parent I have a duty to try to prevent the chances of it happening. Should I not allow her to go to the grandparents anymore. Apparently that's where its been going on. They're oblivious, or should I say, at this point, do what you want and deal with the consequences, whatever they may be. I am so scared she will get pregnant and screw up her future...WHAT DO I DO!!!!

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
fammatthews4
by Trisha on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:53 AM
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Did you get her on BC when you first found out they were having sex?  I think that should be your first course of action.  Keeping her away from him may backfire in that she'll sneak out to be with him.  I think limiting where they can be together such as your house with supervision might be a good idea as well

MrsBLB
by Missi on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:57 AM
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I agree with this.

Quoting fammatthews4:

Did you get her on BC when you first found out they were having sex?  I think that should be your first course of action.  Keeping her away from him may backfire in that she'll sneak out to be with him.  I think limiting where they can be together such as your house with supervision might be a good idea as well


MrsBLB
by Missi on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:58 AM

Keep the lines of communication open.  Let her know she can come to you always.  Hang in there, good luck.

stillkickin4
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:59 AM

She was on BC for a while, but there was an issue with her insurance and they woldn't cover it. The dr put her in for it again for regularity. As far as the loser coming over here, I am tired of trying with him No matter what I allow, he just does what he wants. I feel it is very disrespectful and feel I am no longer obligated to try. I understand its my DD's relationship, but I feel as a parent, if its unhealthy, which it is, I have a right to limit it. My DD knows the risks. Her father said he would take her license, her car or whatever. He doesn't have a car or even a license.

Marathonmom3
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Fyi doctors always run pregnancy tests with check up of teens, ours does and she is not active. If you don't want her with him, make a rule that does not allow him at your house and no calls from him. If they break the rule take something away, your house your rules.
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stillkickin4
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:03 PM

There has been so many senior girls who have gotten pregnant, girls with plans like my daughter has and it scares me to death its going to happen to her. I jst want to curl up and cry. I keep kicking myself for not ending the relationship sooner....

stillkickin4
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:07 PM

BUMP!

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry, you are picking a battle you will not win. You don;t want grandbabies get her on BC, even if you pay out of pocket, it's not expensive, and educate her. 

lazyd
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 4:36 PM

Im sorry, your house, your rules.  If you dont want him in the house, call the cops.  He is trespassing!  You can put a block on your daughter's phone.  My daughter can not receive any text or calls after 9pm on school nights.  Take your daughter's car away.  I know this may sound tough and it is, but your daughter will have to get over it.  And NO dont send your daughter to her grandparents or his if this is where the sex is happening.  If your daughter works, get her work schedule.  Your daughter needs to be supervised at all times.  If she isnt working than she needs to be at home or at school.  And the bf shouldnt be able to come over at all.  Now if you want him to than they can stay in the living/family room on the couch together doing homework or watching tv.   

Zamaria
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 4:42 PM
The guy sounds like a douche. If it were me, I would ground her for breaking the rules with letting him in the car, etc. I don't think I'd make her break up with him. At this age, it would only cause resentment towards you. Our doctor runs a pregnancy test on all girls who have reached puberty before any type of X-ray or other treatment just as a precaution. If you're pretty sure she is having sex, I would buy her condoms and lots of them, male and female condoms. A baby wouldn't mess up her future nearly as much as HIV or something. Condoms are not foolproof, but they're better than nothing. I'd talk to her about responsibility and the consequences of having sex, but at this point she probably won't listen much. But at least you can say you tried. An I would insist that she be honest about it. I don't tolerate dishonesty in my home at all and my kids know that if they are dishonest they'll get in a LOT more trouble than they would if they just fess up. I hope she starts making wise choices!
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