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At my wit's end with my disrespectful 15yo boy

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:36 PM
  • 11 Replies

I know this is not a new topic here but I just want to get some feedback. My son is soooo disrepectful. He, like many teens, think he is owed something. He won't do his school work or chores the way he is supposed to and thinks he should keep his cell phone and video game. We have talked until we are blue. It has almost gotten physical. I feel like kicking him out of the house just so he can see what its like on the outside. I almost feel like leaving my own home becauase it so miserable here.

Advice and encouragement really would be great. Thanks for listening.

sad


by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Shea1967
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:06 PM
3 moms liked this
Well time for tough love mama. No phone, call company have number turned off, take video games away (take them to work so not in the home) and take his bedroom door off. He gets NO privacy or stuff until he earns it back. It is your job to provide food, clothes and shelter. EVERYTHING else is earned. We just had this talk with our 13 yr old. Good luck
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Adexecmom
by Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree.  Remove everything from his room, including the door, except for the bed, dresser, and books.  That's all he gets.  Remove the video games from the house and suspend the cell phone.  Then, after his tantrum, which he will face consequences for (extra chores) he will EARN the opportunity to get the stuff back one by one.  Good grades?  Phone.  A week being respectful?  The door.  Extra chores, communication, etc., can earn stuff back.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Dec. 5, 2012 at 11:44 PM

I know how you feel.  I really really do.  Time to walk away when he gets like this.  I've gotten to the point to where I just turn my back on him and leave.  That's it.  Seems to work because now he has no one to complain to or be disrespectful to.

suesues
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 7:08 AM

i agree and remind him who is boss here

chloesmommy777
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:41 AM

Have him volunteer for the needy. Stand your ground while taking away his "electro-privileges." Remain calm, cool, and collected. And whenever he does the right thing(s), acknowledge it and say thanks. Put a time limit on his devices. Whenever he fulfills a true obligation, return his toys, but still attach the time limits.

CTBmom
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 10:09 AM
This! And like another poster said instead of fighting with him, just walk away. I have done this in the past with my 15 yr-old ds and it works wonders. Good luck mama!


Quoting Shea1967:

Well time for tough love mama. No phone, call company have number turned off, take video games away (take them to work so not in the home) and take his bedroom door off. He gets NO privacy or stuff until he earns it back. It is your job to provide food, clothes and shelter. EVERYTHING else is earned. We just had this talk with our 13 yr old. Good luck

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Zamaria
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 10:14 AM
EXACTLY!!!!


Quoting Shea1967:

Well time for tough love mama. No phone, call company have number turned off, take video games away (take them to work so not in the home) and take his bedroom door off. He gets NO privacy or stuff until he earns it back. It is your job to provide food, clothes and shelter. EVERYTHING else is earned. We just had this talk with our 13 yr old. Good luck

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Zamaria
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 10:22 AM
He's hormonal. Which sucks. I remember it very well. But that is not an excuse for disrespect. In a sense, since he is your child, you do owe him some things. Food. Water. Shelter. Some clothing. That's it. So I would give him those things. And those things only. Let him earn things that you do not owe him through contributions to the home and family. Things like helping out with chores, respecting his parents, getting good grades, following rules, etc. earn privileges like cell phones, electronics, privacy, more than two sets of clothing, getting to go do things with friends, watching tv, etc. if he doesn't earn them, he shouldn't get them. I know hormones can make you feel crazy. So I usually give mine ONE chance to say things respectfully. I ask him if he wants to try it again, and of he still can't be respectful, he is grounded, which means he does nothing except school, eat, sleep, homework and chores. It's hard, and they'll throw a fit, but it's worth it in the long run.
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Missy5326
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:16 AM

Do we share the same son?  LOL.  I simply won't answer any questions or listen to any.  Every time he speaks to me I need to be addressed as Mrs. Mac or hell no do it your self.  You can see it hurts when the other kids are calling me ma.  This has been going on for two weeks, I may make it longer but there is no more crap with homework or chores.  I also took away afterschool fun like basketball.

GBaby
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:26 PM

Thank you all for your words of advice and encouragement. We are trying many of the things you suggested but my son is so stubborn. He will dig his heels in and not budge. I just don't know what to do to save him from himself. Thank God he has not gotten into any real trouble. He is really a good kid with nice friends, plays on the basketball team, above average student but just stubborn as hell.

I feel our relationship is damaged beyond repair. You know how they say that boys just love their moms. This is not the case in our house. I have had to take a hard stand most of the time because my husband is the passive, laid back parent that is oblivous most of time. Because of my husband's work schedule I have always been the parent who had to fight with my son to go to bed, to get up in the morning, do to the school work, chores, etc. and shuttle him to all activites.

I just don't think I have anything left in me to fight and many days I just want to get in my car and keep driving. What can I do to get rid of this feeling?

simple frown

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