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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Do you restrict how often your teen can see their boyfriend/girlfriend in a week?

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:15 PM
  • 34 Replies

My DD, junior in high school, a couple months shy of 17, thinks I'm too restrictive on when she sees her boyfriend (he's a senior in a different high school).

The current rule is one date on the weekend (he usually picks her up late afternoon, and her curfew is midnight), and he comes over one day during the week on her night to cook, around 4, they hang out, then make dinner, then study together and he leaves around 8:30 or so.

She wants to see him both Friday and Saturday and hang out after school most days of the week with him.

What rules do you have?

by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:23 PM
Mine saw each other at school. Weekends they saw each other usually, Friday, Saturday and Sunday most weekends, or 2 of those days.
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jdfmommy
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:29 PM

I'd give them Friday and Saturday and Sundays.. And keep it just one day a week for now.. Thats what I'd do if it were me atleast.

annie2244
by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:10 PM

Oh, man. 2 for 2 she is right and I'm over controlling this. I need to relax, it sounds like.

drfink
by Emily on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:15 PM

Weekends are ok but we during the week it kind of depended on the relationship.The more intense the less socialization during the week with the bf or gf .

sahlady
by Gold Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:16 PM
1 mom liked this

we havent had an issue that lead to me making a rule.

I would be rather worried though if she wanted to spend friday and saturday with the boy.... when does she see her friends?  If she is neglecting her friends for a boy that in my mind is a HUGE RED FLAG.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:22 PM

If they were supervised at my house, I wouldn't care how often he stopped by.  As for the weekends, I think I would talk to her about reserving one weekend night for her girlfriends, don't ditch them because of a boy.  If it doesn't work out you need some shoulders to cry on and if it does work out you need some girls to party with at a bachlorette party.

bizzeemom2717
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:54 AM

 My Ds and his Gf dated junior and senior year of HS (still dating soph year of college). During the school year they were both very busy with athletics and extracurriculars so one night on average I would say per week unless it was specifically for school (studying for AP bio,calc,ect, project and they really were) then 1 night per weekend, sometimes, esp spring and nicer weather Sundays at the lake and to eat a family dinner at our home on Sunday evening. i slacked up senior year because the had both matured and were doing so well. Honestly both kids are highly motivated and busy so wasn't thankfully too much of an issue, no extra time really to just 'hang out".

moneysaver6
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 3:00 AM
1 mom liked this

I'll make her feel like you're the greatest mom in the world, then.  Our kids aren't allowed to date until they are 18 & have graduated from high school.

You're welcome. :-)

DarlaHood
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 3:01 AM

I agree with the weekends and one night a week unless special circumstances.  But she should be able to balance family and friends also.  It's normal for them to want to spend every moment together, but not necessarily healthy.  You probably aren't going to convince her, but it is still important to discuss with her that relationships are healthier and more successful if each person has his/her own life and interests.  But it's not unusual for 16 & 17 year olds to go out and then meet up with friends or do things with a group of couples.  So hopefully they are still social on the weekends.  My dd was also very involved with extra-curricular activities.  Any kid with an eye on college will most likely be in the same situation.  It would be great if you could make some trips just with her to start touring colleges.  Being on the campus makes it real and gets them looking forward.  That would be good for her right now.  But don't be overly rigid on your rule.

kaitybird
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 5:06 PM

It depends on what is going on during the week.  Usually it is just on Friday & Saturdays.  You have to do what is right for you and your family!

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