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His attitude is changing....

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:38 AM
  • 13 Replies
3 moms liked this

Slowly but it is changing.  I am referring to my 16 year old DS, who I have posted numerous times about.  My husband and I have been changing the way we relate to him, trying new tactics.  Making his consequences goal oriented and not just doing time.  Last night for the first time in a long time my son was working on a Tri-Board project with excitment and enthusiasm.  He even took it around the house to show his father and brother what he had done!  He also wrote a 3 page paper for Honors History, which was going above and beyond what his teacher asked of him.  He proudly showed it off and even bragged about it on twitter to his friends.

A few weeks ago my DS got ISS for smoking in the school parking lot.  This was when he was in his very negative (I'm not trying anymore in school phase).  Later I caught him smoking outside.  His consequence was he had to write a 3 page paper on the negative effects of smoking.  Until he did so he was not allowed to participate on his recreational basketball team.  He thought he was going to show us.  After two weeks of missing two practices he realized we weren't backing down and wrote the paper.  He was able to play in the first game and scored the first point!  He told me he doesn't want to lose the ability to practice again, it means too much to him.

He has acknowledged that his stubborness causes him problems.  That he sometimes makes bad choices that ruin good things in his life.

He is working hard to pull his grades up in school to get on what we call the "c" package.  When he will be able to get a job and have some ability to hang out with his friends.  We related his amount of freedoms and privilages to his performance in school. And broke it all down for him so that he knows what he needs to do to earn more freedom/privleges.  His attitude around the house has been great.  He does his chores without complaining.  He is talkative and respectful to us. He is truly a pleasure to be around.  I just love this kid.  And it brings me great joy to see him making good choices to help himself. 

Last night ds said to my DH, that just doing his homework doesn't take that long at all, sometimes complaining about it takes longer.  My husband piped in and said "isn't that what I frequently tell you?"  And my son said "yeah, but when you said it, it made me mad, figuring it out for myself made it make sense."  I was dumbfounded that my kid was verbalizing these things.

Thanks for reading, I just wanted to share some good things about my DS.  I feel like I only ever write about the bad.

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Msgme
by Gold Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:56 AM

Thats awesomoe!!!!  Sometimes we can talk till we are blue in the face or even punish till forever but they  just need to get it themselves.     I wish him the best

Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:20 AM

I'm very happy to hear this! I hope things continue to improve!!

FunnyKids
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:04 PM

I am happy it's working for you. Sticking to your guns really teach the stubborn ones they will not get over on you

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:25 PM

Very happy to hear this

gonecrazi
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:58 PM

 so glad things are starting to improve. 

justamomma2
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 4:02 PM

It's great to hear when they finally see the light and can turn around.  Bravo to your son and to you and your husband.  Sounds like a smart young man.  :)

 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Dec. 12, 2012 at 7:43 PM

That is great news!!!    What is going on with your college freshmen?




JenniferSq
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:21 PM

 

Quoting boys2men2soon:

That is great news!!!    What is going on with your college freshmen?

 Thanks for asking.  I talked to him on the phone tonight.  He had his last final today in Chemistry.  I am going to pick him up tomorrow.  I am so sad,  and angry.  He thinks he failed all of his classes.  He said his roomate is leaving also,  he is transferring to a different college and he didn't do very well in his classes either.  Maybe they were a bad combo.  They were both big video gamers.

wakymom
by Gold Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:25 PM

 That's great!

 

 

 

 

 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:21 PM


Quoting JenniferSq:

 

Quoting boys2men2soon:

That is great news!!!    What is going on with your college freshmen?

 Thanks for asking.  I talked to him on the phone tonight.  He had his last final today in Chemistry.  I am going to pick him up tomorrow.  I am so sad,  and angry.  He thinks he failed all of his classes.  He said his roomate is leaving also,  he is transferring to a different college and he didn't do very well in his classes either.  Maybe they were a bad combo.  They were both big video gamers.

I'm sorry.   Maybe he learned a valuable lesson?   My college Freshman is a gamer, too.  




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