Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Have you had this ever happen?

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:57 AM
  • 49 Replies
 
We had quite a night with our 14 yo dd & her lies last night. I had brought her out to the living room & showed her what I had found under the end table I had moved. There were 2 scotch tapes, & one red bow. After I saw these I looked at the packages under the tree & all of them had been opened & re taped. She said "Oh, I must have left them there (the tape)" I showed her what I had found & she said "I didn't open them". She lied to my face 'again'. I told her that I knew she had as I could see where each piece of tape had taken off the color of the paper. She just shook her head, like no that's not true. I took all the presents & put them in her room & said "thanks for ruining Christmas. She said "oh, take them out of here". I did, unwrapped them & threw the wrapping in her room. I took the presents & put them in my car trunk. I don't know what I'm going to do with them. My husband said we should return them & get gifts for ourselves & open them so she can see or hear it (where ever she chooses to be at the time. I had also said to her she won't be getting the money we give her each year. She said "you don't give me any money". I said "yes, we do & you know we have". How would you have handled this? What should we do with the presents? Have you heard of or even had a child of yours open presents then retape them, etc?
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
fammatthews4
by Trisha on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:16 AM
1 mom liked this

No never had that happen.  No presents go under the tree here until Christmas Eve and the kids have never found my "hiding spot".  As far as what to do with the presents, maybe donating them to a charity that will make sure they get to someone who would like to have them for Christmas.  

I really don't know though, I'm not sure I would be able to not let her have them, but I've never had to deal with what you are.

02nana07
by Ida on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:25 AM

 I would take them back and get her nothing but clothes and nothing expensive and keep them in the trunk until Christmas

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:25 AM
6 moms liked this

Personally I would have not cross examined her that way. She opened her present, I used to do it also. For years I thought I was getting one over on my mom...nope, she said she never said anything, cause if I didn't mind spoiling my surprise, then who was she to care either. Something like that anyways.

Is it really that huge of a deal? Yes, she lied, but setting it up the way you did...kinda put her back in the corner. So punish the lie itself, but move on from the whole present thing. It's Christmas, that's what kids do.


maidn
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I have 6 children and yes it's happened, I donated their presents to the giving tree, and went about Xmas for the others. As for the girls and lieing . I have NOOO advice on that one , my older daughter did it, my younger one is now.. A freind of mine and myself had made the jokes " how do you know your teen daughter is lying " " her mouth is moving" ... It is one of the most frustrating part of raising girls and I know how you feel.. daughter # 1 grew out of it in her early 20's .. 

gabyangy
by Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:32 AM

I would take her to the Salvation Army and have her donate her gifts to them.  But again I would probably just let it go.  I think all kids want to sneak a peep at their gifts.  Sorry to hear she ruined your Christmas.  

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:34 AM

I don't put our gifts under the tree until Christmas Eve.   No, I've never had that happen.   I would probably let her have a couple of the gifts on Christmas......but I would not rewrap them.  She already unwrapped them, so no surprises there.  I would not give her any money.....since she seems not to remember it anyway.  




Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:41 AM
1 mom liked this

We never wrap our gifts until right before Christmas.

Personally, I don't get why you're taking away the gifts. Is it because she peaked or is it because she lied? She already isn't going to have any surprises on Christmas morning now, and she took that away from herself.

I'd punish for the lying separately, and just rewrap all the current gifts and put them back under the tree.

sahlady
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:24 AM
2 moms liked this

I LOVE LOVE LOVE surpises.... you could put an unwrapped gift in a corner and I would avoid that corner until the gift was given to me.  My kids have always known this and I think they have simply followed suit.


My bff did what your daughter did since forever.  She also used to dig through her boyfriends house looking for anything.... it caused HUGE HUGE issues in many of her relationships.  She has never been one to just trust and let things happen. I would keep an eye on this type of behavior and see if it is just a Christmas thing of if there is a MUCH BIGGER issue at hand.  


I would stress the fact that people get joy from giving, that people get joy from the recipient's reaction..... by peeking she has stolen the joy from you, has taken that moment of pleasure you get from giving.  It is more than peeking.... it is taking YOUR joy of giving.

sahlady
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:26 AM
4 moms liked this

btw.... hind sight being 20/20 I think the better reaction would have been to take the gifts and replaced them with things like boxes of broccoli, cat litter, coal, etc.  To see what her reaction would be Christmas morning.... THEN talk to her about opening gifts.

cat4458
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:35 PM


Quoting sahlady:

btw.... hind sight being 20/20 I think the better reaction would have been to take the gifts and replaced them with things like boxes of broccoli, cat litter, coal, etc.  To see what her reaction would be Christmas morning.... THEN talk to her about opening gifts.

Ha, that's a good one!!!!  Oh... I wish I would have thought of that!!  Well, I still have the wrapping, I could re wrap (altho she most likely wouldn't remember what the wrapping was anyway) & she would think I gave in & then she would see the cat litter, broccoli, etc. I will wait till Christmas day before putting them under the tree (if we decide to do that after passing it by my husband). The talk about opening gifts is an excellent thing to do.  I told her she ruined Christmas because she took the fun from her Dad & I to see the expression of her look when she saw the gifts) but she said "I don't care".  It was 6 gifts, which if it would have been just one or 2 I maybe wouldn't have been so hurt. And the lie (but it's past the lie as we knew she did it) it was obvious looking at how she re-wrapped them. lol

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)