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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Do You Monitor Your Teens Facebook Page?

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:05 AM
  • 41 Replies

Teen Confesses to Driving Drunk on Facebook (Guess What Happens Next?)

Posted by Deborah Cruz

sideswiped carJacob Cox-Brown is definitely not the smartest kid around. The 18-year-old recently wrote on Facebook:

"Drivin drunk ... classsic ;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P"

Cox-Brown's "friends" contacted police, who promptly arrested him.

This leaves me wondering, what has changed so much in the way that we raise our kids that our teens think that it is okay to YouTube, Facebook, or Tweet their indiscretions to the general public but yet seem surprised when they get caught? Do our teens think that social media is sanctuary? Do they have no sense that once the information is live, it is out there forever?

More from The Stir: 9-Year-Old Writes Powerful Letter to Drunk Driver Who Left Her Paralyzed (VIDEO)

Our kids are being raised in a world where there is more and more behind-the-screen time with others than there is face-to-face interaction, and they are all losing their social skills and common sense. How else can you explain all the sexts, shaming, and videotaping of sexual acts and illegal activity that teens are sharing with the world? People, in general, get braver online, but mix it with hormones and little common sense and you will see full confessions go viral.

Do you think teens have changed in their morals over the last decade or does it have more to do with the sheer accessibility of a larger venue and the instant gratification mind set of the Internet that has our teens sharing their most intimate indiscretions?

Do you monitor your teen's Facebook page?


by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kailalaila
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:08 AM

my son is 14 and I know everything that is written or posted on his page. I ahve his password too. if I see anything I don't like I will interrogate him about it. if I see anything offensive I will personally delete it or I will make him delete it. he's ok with my rules. and most of the people on his page I know. every parent,parents different.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:30 AM

I sure do know what's on their page.  A requirement to any social network is that I have to have one too and we have to be "friends".

mamakin616
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 2:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I do,I think they should be requirements for all teens.A responsible parent knows what there child is doing... always.I know people will say that you need to have trust ...no..I don.t. I will never have trust when it comes to the internet.That is one place that you can never trust anything about and you need to monitor daily .Not only for your childs safety ,but for the safety of your entire family.

bellamomof1978
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:08 PM

The only way  for my kids to have a fb page or anypage I have to have there password and they are friends with me on there pages and welcome there friends to be friends with me as well as there mother or father

RobsPrincess24
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:10 PM

I monitor my SD15's account. We are friends, but I don't have her password. If I see something on there I don't feel is appropriate, I take it to her dad. We decide how to handle it from there.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:31 PM

We did when our teen was younger. She's 19 now so no we don't monitor any of her online sites.

chercaruso
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:31 PM
2 moms liked this

My kids know there is nothing that they can hide from me when it comes to technology - I work in IT.  Not only do I have their FB passwords, but I also have a copy of all of their FB messages routed to my email.  And now that FB is saving copies of chat conversations as messages, I get those too.  I also get a daily report of their Internet activity, all the sites that they accessed, and how long they were online.  I also get a daily report of their texts (not the message bc the phone company doesn't allow that, but I get the number and name stored on their phone and time of the text). 

Some would say they should have their privacy.  Well, the Internet is not private.  Rarely do I read their messages, but occasionally I'll go through them and I will ask questions.  I feel that this has actually created more "openness" and now I usually know about all their doings before I ever read it.  Also, this has made it where neither of them really use social media that much - which is a good thing.

Luckily, neither of my kids give me any reasons to not trust them, so like I said above I don't go through the messages all that often - every now and then as a spot check.  But, the good thing is that if anything major were to happen to my kids I have access to all of their messages, emails, and texts.  That is a part of keeping them safe in my opinion.

 

justamomma2
by Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:01 PM

For the IT mom who monitors all of her kids technology.  I applaud you and  may I ask how old your kids are?  My son is 16 and when he turned 15 he asked if i would no longer look at his texts as he was starting to flirt with girls and it was embarrassing.  I agreed, he had never sent any texts I was concerned with and agree reading his texts now and then allowed for some conversations we may not have had at the time.  I ttold him if I felt the need I would look at his phone messges now and then and did so privately and he didn't know.  i didn't see anything i was concerned with.  Then at 16 we got him an iphone and they have passwords.  i made the mistake by not making it a rule that I know his password.   Now I feel here a year later, I can't go back and change the rules, but i also think he is using his phone is inappropriate ways and want to set new rules.  He is addicted to his phone like a drug, when I threatened to take it away, he threatened that that would ruin our relationship forever.  He is a good kid, great grades, involved in sports, doesn't have time to go out during the week, but he does have a girlfriend and he is on the phone way to much and I'm mostly concerned with their "face-timing" and what they are doing live with each other.  We've had many chats about the dangers of sexting, but I have a feeling he thinks face time isn't public and people don't know.  We'll I have my suspicions and feel like if I had to do it over again I would never get a kid a smart phone.  I will have different rules for my 13 year old daughter and don't plan on getting her a smart phone for a long, long time.  Grr...teens, our sweet kids turn into people we don't really recognize for a while.

Barabell
by Barbara on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:04 PM

Yeah, I look at it occasionally. He's not on it that often. If he was more active on it, I would check it more often.

Manth
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:09 AM

When my girls first got Facebook accounts they were 13 and you bet I monitored them closely, had the passwords, the whole nine yards.  Now that they are older (18 and 16) and have proven that they can use social media in a reasonable and safe manner I no longer monitor them as closely.  Still do check now and again on the younger one but so far, she has been very sensible about it.

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