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I don't know what to do with him?????

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:25 PM
  • 11 Replies

My s on is 16 and he started off the year great.  1st report card of the year he was doing well. 2nd report card even better  but now he's starting to screw up pretty bad.   Over the vacation I got a letter from his social studies teacher that he was at risk for failing over Missed Homeworks.  The man gives 5 homeworks a marking period and he's not doing them.   He's missed 5 (as of today) homeworks in Italian. He had a science Hw that he had to do over the vacation that he only did part of and couldnt hand in on time.  He attempted to lie to me about that one.  He's been grounded for the past week  He's had nothing to do except go to school and come home and do homework and study.  He failed a quiz this past tuesday and he missed another homework since being grounded.  I don't usually punish for failing grades but there is no reason he should of failed the damm quiz.  One more screw up in this class and he fails for the term and looses the credit.  I don't know what else to do to get him back on the ball.   VENT OVER

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
angies3451
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:49 PM

We are going thru the same thing with my stepson. who is a jr and cant afford to fail anything.. His math teacher told him just before holiday break that if he failed any of his mandatory classes he would have to take summer school or he would not graduate. I honestly dont think he cares. We have talked and talked to him about this. He was invited to a program that would help him prepare for his sat's, This program cost the school 400.00 but was free to us if he attended 16 saturday classes. Well he flat refused to do it. Saying he didnt want to give up his saturdays. Which he does nothing anyway. He is a very social child in school. But rarely spends time with his peers outside of school. He is labled the class clown. Very popular with the other kids at school. His image he has protrayed to others seems to be more important to him than his schooling.  I just dont understand. He would not dream of dropping out but runs the very real risk of not graduating next year. We just cant get it thru to him how inportant it is to do the homework and study for the tests.  We are at our wits in with what to do next.. we have already taken ALL privaledges away. No computer, cell phone,xbox, tv,.. He basicaly sits in his room and draws!

atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:52 PM
My kids got computer and phones taken away if more than one homework was a zero in a semester.
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mom.of.4
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 4:10 AM

seems like there might be more going on with him, besides just laziness. why the change? I would ask him and see if you can find out and when he says "everything is fine" watch him closer I would get in contact with his teachers (not just the one he is not doing well in) ask what is like in class and find out if they have noticed anything. I might get the school counselor involved also. good luck!

suesues
by Silver Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 7:59 AM

take everything away my dau same and told her we were taking the money out of her bank account for summer school thank god she got threw she is just lazy

Msgme
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 8:18 AM


Quoting mom.of.4:

seems like there might be more going on with him, besides just laziness. why the change? I would ask him and see if you can find out and when he says "everything is fine" watch him closer I would get in contact with his teachers (not just the one he is not doing well in) ask what is like in class and find out if they have noticed anything. I might get the school counselor involved also. good luck!

 The change is really a revert.  In 7th grade he decided to screw up pretty bad.  He had a  competition with his friends on who could do worse. He won by a long shot. As much as i begged his teachers to tell me right away they never did. they always waited for report cards. a cpl teachers were the type to call home and in those classes he did what he was suppose to.  He never had to stay for detention. He kept his grades up just enough to not get phone calls or letters. Come report card conference and i would get an ear full. In 8th grade he improved alot but was still always on the brink. He ended up in summer school for a few weeks and missed out on graduation due to an error with the school. The had assumed he failed the state wide exam but turned out he didn't.   then this year he was on target.  with an occasional missed homework here and there but always made it up before they would tell me.  I thought we were at a point where i didn't have to stand over his shoulder.  I don't know when he's missed just 1 or 2 home works  I only find out about it when he's on the brink of failing.   We had a long talk last night and he's grounded for quite a while with no xbox or friends after school.  He's a really smart kid just gets really lazy and thinks since it takes a while for me to find out about it that he'll just  do what he wants and then face the consequences at the end.  the really scary part is that's exactly the type of student I was until i dropped out at the age he is now.

wakymom
by Silver Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 9:41 AM

 I was really lazy, too. Wasn't even sure I wanted to go to college. I changed my tune real quick when my parents told me my choices were go to college or get a job. I decided school work was the easier, less-evil choice. I still didn't put in as much effort as I was capable of, but I passed everything w/ B's and C's after that so I could get into college.

Maybe presenting it that way to him would have an affect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Msgme
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 9:54 AM

I did and he said he'd drop out now and get a job If i would let him.   Which just makes me worry cause he's 16 in 2 years he'll still be in school and legally able to drop out without my permission.   Just hoping i can get thru to him before then.

Quoting wakymom:

 I was really lazy, too. Wasn't even sure I wanted to go to college. I changed my tune real quick when my parents told me my choices were go to college or get a job. I decided school work was the easier, less-evil choice. I still didn't put in as much effort as I was capable of, but I passed everything w/ B's and C's after that so I could get into college.

Maybe presenting it that way to him would have an affect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


mom.of.4
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 10:24 AM

I live in Texas. I have access to my kids grades/assignments/attendance online. do you have that option?

Quoting Msgme:


Quoting mom.of.4:

seems like there might be more going on with him, besides just laziness. why the change? I would ask him and see if you can find out and when he says "everything is fine" watch him closer I would get in contact with his teachers (not just the one he is not doing well in) ask what is like in class and find out if they have noticed anything. I might get the school counselor involved also. good luck!

 The change is really a revert.  In 7th grade he decided to screw up pretty bad.  He had a  competition with his friends on who could do worse. He won by a long shot. As much as i begged his teachers to tell me right away they never did. they always waited for report cards. a cpl teachers were the type to call home and in those classes he did what he was suppose to.  He never had to stay for detention. He kept his grades up just enough to not get phone calls or letters. Come report card conference and i would get an ear full. In 8th grade he improved alot but was still always on the brink. He ended up in summer school for a few weeks and missed out on graduation due to an error with the school. The had assumed he failed the state wide exam but turned out he didn't.   then this year he was on target.  with an occasional missed homework here and there but always made it up before they would tell me.  I thought we were at a point where i didn't have to stand over his shoulder.  I don't know when he's missed just 1 or 2 home works  I only find out about it when he's on the brink of failing.   We had a long talk last night and he's grounded for quite a while with no xbox or friends after school.  He's a really smart kid just gets really lazy and thinks since it takes a while for me to find out about it that he'll just  do what he wants and then face the consequences at the end.  the really scary part is that's exactly the type of student I was until i dropped out at the age he is now.


02nana07
by Ida on Jan. 11, 2013 at 11:34 AM

 go to class with him if the school will allow it and tell him it will continue until his grades improve.  Another option is have the teachers send him to detention to finish any incomplete or missing assignments before they have a chance to be late.  I would also have his teachers give you a list of all assignments so you can make sure they are done having your son write them down and the teachers sign it and then after he completes the work you sign it so the teacher knows it was done.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:20 PM

Wish I could help I'm in the same boat.

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