Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Sophmore lacks ambition

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 4:32 PM
  • 6 Replies


I have a soon to be 16 year old who is a sophmore. He is new to a high school this year as we have moved across country. He is  smart - has a 3.8 GPA without even trying very hard. But he seems to lack ambition. He was gifted at sports - was always recruited to travel teams prior to tryouts but then lost interest and dropped them all one by one. The latest is high school lacrosse. He does not want to do it. Now he is in the robotic club, but the hours have got longer as it is build season, but he now wants to quit that. He seems to fear committment.

That leaves him with just school and he is quite happy with that. He does not want to do any extra curricular activities at all. He thinks his GPA will be enough to get him into a good school.

Has anyone had the same experience? Any advice?


by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 4:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
neng999
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:08 PM

 hi...i think you just have to give your son a little time to think for himself..let him decide what he wants to do and as a mom i think you already knew that we support them all the way..

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:59 PM
2 moms liked this

I think all kids lack it today!

sabrtooth1
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:40 PM

Depends what your definition of  "good" school is.  He probably could get into a state school without any extracurricular involvment.  However many better state schools are reducing the number of in-state students they accept, & being more selective in their acceptance, because OUT of state students pay more tuition!!! 

The BEST thing your son can do, is talk to his guidance counselor about what major he is thinnking about, what schools he wants( or can afford) to attend, and what he needs to do to get into those schools.  You can even call the school, and see if YOU can be involved in the discussion, along with your son, if you suspect he won't follow thru, or ask the right questions.

Another question is --has he been this way since birth?  If not, I'd consider getting him a complete medical and emotional checkup.  He may be depressed.  20 percent of teens will experience teen depression.  Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, the third leading cause of death among teenagers.

 http://www.teendepression.org/stats/teenage-depression-statistics/

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:03 PM

Yes.   Both my sons quit sports before high school.....neither had any interest in any clubs or extra curriculars.    I chose not to force the issue, but I really wish they would have been more involved.   My oldest had a part time job from age 16, so he was busy.       Both got into college with no problem.




alik1983
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:19 PM

I agree - my daughter is a sophomore, too, and she WANTS to do extra-curricular (band, rifle, etc.) but doesn't like practicing, etc.  I'm giving her the same lectures about commitment, especially since her instrument and rifles cost us a ton of money.  She recently joined an outside gun club and is loving it; she WANTS to go to practice.  (Her school "coach" is a useless piece of you-know-what.)  As for band, now that she has her own clarinet, she's more committed to practicing and does as much as she can. 

Remember, your son's at a new school and is still "feeling" his way around things/classmates.  He'll find his "niche," as mine did once she changed gun clubs/instruments.  But, at this age, we should just be thankful that they're keeping up with their studies.  :) 

Also, my husband mentors a senior from his alma mater; he's been mentoring him since he was a sophomore.  It's been an interesting time for him since he's comparing our daughter to his mentee.  He says it's amazing at, just after two years, how much he's matured and "grown up."  In addition, his mentee doesn't do any sports; in fact, we took him with us to their school basketball game the other night, and while I'm screaming and hollering, he had to keep asking my husband what was happening during the times I would yell.  :)  He has no clue about basketball, or any sport for that matter.  His only extra curricular activity is the speech team.  BUT, he's getting numerous acceptance letters from across the country, which we're so happy for him. 

The one thing that we do push on both kids is community service; both of the them are doing a lot of it.  I think that makes a lot of difference on college applications as well.

Hang in there - I definitely know the feeling!!

Quoting PurpleHazey:

I think all kids lack it today!


 

Jebekarue
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:37 AM



Quoting alik1983:

I agree - my daughter is a sophomore, too, and she WANTS to do extra-curricular (band, rifle, etc.) but doesn't like practicing, etc.  I'm giving her the same lectures about commitment, especially since her instrument and rifles cost us a ton of money.  She recently joined an outside gun club and is loving it; she WANTS to go to practice.  (Her school "coach" is a useless piece of you-know-what.)  As for band, now that she has her own clarinet, she's more committed to practicing and does as much as she can. 

Remember, your son's at a new school and is still "feeling" his way around things/classmates.  He'll find his "niche," as mine did once she changed gun clubs/instruments.  But, at this age, we should just be thankful that they're keeping up with their studies.  :) 

Also, my husband mentors a senior from his alma mater; he's been mentoring him since he was a sophomore.  It's been an interesting time for him since he's comparing our daughter to his mentee.  He says it's amazing at, just after two years, how much he's matured and "grown up."  In addition, his mentee doesn't do any sports; in fact, we took him with us to their school basketball game the other night, and while I'm screaming and hollering, he had to keep asking my husband what was happening during the times I would yell.  :)  He has no clue about basketball, or any sport for that matter.  His only extra curricular activity is the speech team.  BUT, he's getting numerous acceptance letters from across the country, which we're so happy for him. 

The one thing that we do push on both kids is community service; both of the them are doing a lot of it.  I think that makes a lot of difference on college applications as well.

Hang in there - I definitely know the feeling!!

Quoting PurpleHazey:

I think all kids lack it today!



The kids here in FL get hours for community service to get Bright Futures scholarships, of course in order to qualify also you have to have at least a 3.0 GPA When my son graduates he has to have at least 75 CS hours.  not that it matters right now he doesn't have a 3.0.  But with band and fund raisers he gets points for that so he should be really close.

DD when she graduates she will have to have at least 125 cs hours as it changes every year.

My son is in band, FBLA and is taking a digital video sound class so he keeps pretty busy, although he does not want to practice his tuba.  We got a call last week about a football scholarship even though he hasn't played since middle school so now he wants to try out for the football team. But he can't do band and football so he is torn.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)