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Mamas, I need advice asap on ds 13 and a girl

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:24 AM
  • 28 Replies
Hello mamas, I made a post like last May about ds and this same girl. Im the bad guy where ds is concerned b/c this girl is lying and playing head games with him AGAIN, yet shes like a God and Im the bitch. Argh! Im so pissed Im shaking. Last yr ds and her together 9 months, head over heels w/each other. She hears rumor hes cheating, dumps him, that same day her guy friends punching ds and he didnt do anything wrong. FF to last fri nite. Ds spends nite at his best bros house. Friend also dated her during summer. So friend invites her over fri. nite too. Ds and her talk about still being in love w/each other, she asks if hed ever be with her again. Yes. Tonite find out she HAS a bf but wants ds to go over tomorrow after school and her bf doesnt know. I told ds hell no. its wrong in every way, she HAS a bf that she DIDNT tell ds about fri nite. Now ds is pissed at me. Shes the sneaky snake reeling him in w/ head games, so why am I the enemy. I cant make him understand why its wrong that thex hang out alone.
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by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:54 AM
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First of all, that's just way too serious for a 12/13 year old to be involved in.  I wouldn't be allowing him to date at all.  What was she doing at a sleepover anyways?

woodswalker
by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 8:08 AM
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You're the mother.  He doesnt have to understand why its wrong they hang out alone.  Because thats your rule.  Thats why.  No unsupervised dating.  If they want to hang out, they have to do it at your house when you're home.  Or at hers when a parent is home.  And I'd be in communication with her parents to make sure you're both on the same page.  They are way too young to be this involved and alone so much. 

Zamaria
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 8:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Um. He's 13. Why is he in a drama filled serious relationship at all? Just put your foot down and set some rules about relationships. Like no relationships except friends until he's older. It's not ok for them to hang out alone because they're 13!!! That's all the explanation he needs. Let him be mad. He will get over it.
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ForeverLawst
by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 8:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow. I'm with PP here. She's that manipulative and nasty at 13? If she's causing that much drama at 13 she's probably got a horrible home life or is learning these behaviours from her own mom. =/  As much as I would like to say that you can't pick your child's friends or bf/gf this little girl is just down right dangerous to your DS. You would have thought he would have learned AFTER she had her other boy friends beat him up over supposed cheating. He is making himself an easy target for her and keeps going back for more. I would cut this relationship off at the knees no matter how much he hated me. No FB, no electronics no nothing until I was sure that he was distancing himself from this craziness. Put him in karate or some sports that will help him build his self-esteem and hopefully he will see her for what she is and move on to better friends and better relationships in the future. Good luck. *HUGS* 

atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 15, 2013 at 8:59 AM
Wayyyyyy too young. He needs some self esteem.
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fammatthews4
by Trisha on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:36 AM
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Put your foot down and keep it down.  He doesn't have to understand, he doesn't have to understand.  You just say "no you can't hang out with her" then ensure that he doesn't.  Also I don't think I'd be letting my son go anywhere for awhile if his friends are inviting girls over for sleepovers.  How did the other boys parents allow that?

Barabell
by Barbara on Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:23 AM


Quoting Zamaria:

Um. He's 13. Why is he in a drama filled serious relationship at all? Just put your foot down and set some rules about relationships. Like no relationships except friends until he's older. It's not ok for them to hang out alone because they're 13!!! That's all the explanation he needs. Let him be mad. He will get over it.

This. 100%

drfink
by Emily on Jan. 15, 2013 at 5:39 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting fammatthews4:

Put your foot down and keep it down.  He doesn't have to understand, he doesn't have to understand.  You just say "no you can't hang out with her" then ensure that he doesn't.  Also I don't think I'd be letting my son go anywhere for awhile if his friends are inviting girls over for sleepovers.  How did the other boys parents allow that?

100% agree

plus just to help him understand the ethics of the situation ask him would he want to be treated like that IF he was a boy friend at 13 ,16,26, or even 86. You are not looking for him to agree with you,you do what is proper but I will explain my point so that sometime in the future their brain might go aha in maybe a different situation.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:14 PM


Quoting Barabell:


Quoting Zamaria:

Um. He's 13. Why is he in a drama filled serious relationship at all? Just put your foot down and set some rules about relationships. Like no relationships except friends until he's older. It's not ok for them to hang out alone because they're 13!!! That's all the explanation he needs. Let him be mad. He will get over it.

This. 100%

Exactly!   




fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Why the hell are you allowing a 13 yr old to date in the first place.  If you had set ground rules from the beginning non of this would be occuring.

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