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17 yo DD has online girlfriend

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:25 PM
  • 15 Replies

My DD has found a friend online , over 10 hours way.  She is very happy.  She considers her a girlfriend. (She told me its like a boyfriend).  This is a first for her.  She is my oldest. She never had a boyfriend.  She doesn't know if she is homosexual or not. How do I communicate with her about it. I feel fine, just not sure if the online bugs me enough to be concerned.  She is a senior with a circle of friends,  getting all the college stuff done, works, drives.  High honor roll 7 years,  

?. Any thoughts?.



by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Retrokitty
by Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:28 PM
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Personally I met one of my best friends online.
Some ways to tell if this person is real is:
Ha she skyped with her?
Does she have her on Facebook? If so check out her profile make sure she's tagged in pictures and her friends are tagged too.
Honestly at 17 she's almost an adult and then you can't stop her. I would just make sure this girl is real and if she is support her.
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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:42 PM
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I agree with pp, my biggest concern would be making sure this online person is real. Too many people out there making fake profiles

Quoting Retrokitty:

Personally I met one of my best friends online.

Some ways to tell if this person is real is:

Ha she skyped with her?

Does she have her on Facebook? If so check out her profile make sure she's tagged in pictures and her friends are tagged too.

Honestly at 17 she's almost an adult and then you can't stop her. I would just make sure this girl is real and if she is support her.
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sahlady
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this

The on line thing scares the hell out of me.  I dont care if she is gay or not, but I would be VERY concerned about the on line part.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:39 AM
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She's 17 - she'll be 18 soon and then legally you can't do anything. I think the only concern is making sure she is a real 17yo female. Get DD to skype with her, be in the room, and ask the most randomest craziest questions you can think of. Sometimes people use a video generator to make people think they are who they are pretending to be. (or to get girls to strip). So ask completely random questions, watch for any repeated movements on camera, (going from one position to another, then back to the first; routine hair flicks after position switches) and then if everything adds up - leave them to it. :) I doubt they'll be able to meet for awhile so don't worry about that :)

Ceremony
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 6:17 AM

Thank you for your replies.  She has face timed her.  I will check her Facebook and DD Facebook too.

i did ask her last name, googled and see she is an ice skater as my DD has said. My opinion, real girl.  So that's a good feeling.

she hasn't asked but do I go out of my way to have them meet? (We may go to ohio to look at a college). This college was on the accepted list before she met her and friend lives there. 

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:40 AM
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If you're going out to Ohio to look at college I would ask her if this girl wanted to meet her. For one reason - that means you get to meet her too and make sure everything checks out :) If they're still talking/whatever by the time you go out there definetely do it. :) better for her to meet this girl with you there than to do it alone and have something happen

Quoting Ceremony:

Thank you for your replies.  She has face timed her.  I will check her Facebook and DD Facebook too.

i did ask her last name, googled and see she is an ice skater as my DD has said. My opinion, real girl.  So that's a good feeling.

she hasn't asked but do I go out of my way to have them meet? (We may go to ohio to look at a college). This college was on the accepted list before she met her and friend lives there. 



sahlady
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this

although I agree with everything else, I respectfully disagree with the first statement about once she is 18.  She may be a legal adult but that doesnt mean the parenting stops.  She may "legally" be permitted to do things... but if a parent is still paying for the child the child must abide by the parents rules.  Or, imo, move out, support themselves 100%, THEN do what ever they want.  If your child is living under your roof they could be 38 and you still get to make the rules.  Even at 38 you are not a full functioning adult, free to make all your own choices, if you are living off mommy and daddys money.

Quoting GleekingOut:

She's 17 - she'll be 18 soon and then legally you can't do anything. I think the only concern is making sure she is a real 17yo female. Get DD to skype with her, be in the room, and ask the most randomest craziest questions you can think of. Sometimes people use a video generator to make people think they are who they are pretending to be. (or to get girls to strip). So ask completely random questions, watch for any repeated movements on camera, (going from one position to another, then back to the first; routine hair flicks after position switches) and then if everything adds up - leave them to it. :) I doubt they'll be able to meet for awhile so don't worry about that :)


PurpleHazey
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:18 PM

My daughter married a man she met from the Internet and he provides for her and the kids very well. She ended up meeting him at about 17 while she was in college after 2 years of chatting with him.

owlfeather919
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:14 PM
Wow, that is so great that she shared this with you, you already have a great starting point for communication, just share your concerns about the online thing. I met my husband on an online dating site , but I was very careful about it. You hear crazy stuff but just talk with her and trust her judgment, and good job it sounds like she trusts you enough to have shared.
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Ceremony
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:14 PM
Thank you. DD aced an AP midterm and we asked what she would like as a token from us.
She wants to meet her over summer.


I agree with sahlady that if you're under our roof, our rules. But at 18 kids must feel than can do what they want. My kids have been told what we expect. I hope it works out as our teens become adults.
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