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irresponsible ,disrespectful teenage son

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 5:57 PM
  • 15 Replies

My 15  yr old son is most irresponsible in the house.He is on computer all day till we argue n make him get up .He does his homework but refuses to do ant extra study.we have set up ground rules that they need to clean up their room ,take the trash out,take the dog for walk without us telling him.He totally ignores all warnings n polite reminders till he takes us to edge and then my husband ,the step dad has to end up taking trash out,taking dog out for walk and then we have a heated argument and the day is all messed up.my son gets into frequent arguments with his step dad because they differ sooo much and im caught in middle.We took away all his electronics but he does not even realize he did something wrong.He ntinues to be his irresponsible self.he is not too much into his friends, no girl friends,no bad habits .Please please advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 5:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 6:22 PM
Take away the computer and don't give it back until he does his chores regularly. If that doesn't work then take EVERYTHING but his bed away until he changes his ways.
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nina1111
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 6:26 PM

Thanks for your advice . im trying on this.Just wondering what chores do other kids of his age normally do n how responsibly?

3mom627
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 6:33 PM
My sons have been responsible for doing the dishes and taking out the trash, both around the same age. Sometimes we have to keep telling our youngest,but he usually does the dishes. There have been a few times I have ended up doing it myself. Occasionally the Xbox has been taken away. I agree it's frustrating.
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annie2244
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:07 PM
2 moms liked this

Can't you set up a system where he earns hours of online time (and whatever else he covets) only IF he's completed his tasks that are due/overdue?

Then - no arguing! Do your stuff, you get the things you want. Don't do your stuff, you don't. You're in charge of the internet. Turn it off.

My kids don't have a ton of responsibilities: On Saturday: 1) clean your room, half of the bathroom you share with your sibling, and 2 common room chores, and do laundry such that your hamper is less than half full.  Cook dinner on your weekly night to cook. Have at least a C in every class at all times. Have no outstanding assignments. Go to church when we're going. Put pots in the sink and dishes in the dishwasher (ie, don't leave a mess in the kitchen).

And they do have to be reminded often and  have the consequences imposed - in the past quite often, now less so. I don't argue with them. Thems the rules. If you are behind eggregiously, we go online and turn off your cell phone and change the wifi password. You don't have to DO your stuff. You just don't get privileges till you do. Your choice. I'm not arguing with you to do your stuff. It's your choice, but life ain't as much fun for you till you do.

It really helps if you write up the rules and have a meeting with him to review them and get his input (you have final say, but the goal is to have rules everyone thinks are fair, and it's just respectful to get his input) and then you post them, like on the fridge.

CampClan
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:14 PM

My DS is 16 & his chores are: take out trash (daily), clean his room (not on a daily basis though), do his own laundry (he insists on this), & let the dog out (we have a small dog so walks are not really necessary). Oh & once a week he has to take the trash cans & recycle bin around front. I do have to make the occassional reminders but he knows that his daily chores must be done before I get home at 5:30. 

If he gets out of hand/line I have taken the computer away & he can only be on it for homework (he has to sit next to me to do it so I can be sure he isn't on FB or chatting). I would take his phone away but it doesn't work anymore so that is pointless.

Quoting nina1111:

Thanks for your advice . im trying on this.Just wondering what chores do other kids of his age normally do n how responsibly?


tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:14 PM
My 16 yr old does laundry, loads/unloads dishwasher, cleans his room and bathroom. During warm weather he cuts the grass. Shovels snow when we get it. Whatever else I need him to do.

Quoting nina1111:

Thanks for your advice . im trying on this.Just wondering what chores do other kids of his age normally do n how responsibly?

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rachel499
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:39 PM

Beat him.

geesmom1
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:12 PM

Hi, just want to let you know that it's not just because he has a step-dad. My 15 year old asperger's son is the exact same way. We even have to remind him to wash his hair! My husband is his biological father and it makes no difference. My son can take a perfectly good day and ruin it for all of us by being rude and disrespectful. We've taken away his computer - but that gets tricky b/c he sometimes needs it for school. Good luck. If you find something that works, please share with us! :)

tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:40 PM
Wow! Really? What about beating you for disrespecting someone?

Quoting rachel499:

Beat him.

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dobrd
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:48 PM

nina1111, NEVER be predictable w/kids.. Your son needs awake up call like yesterday.. I went about my business like our one son wasn't there.. He had what he needed but, not what he wanted.. When he decided to be a part of the family w/rules, regs then, & only then would he be getting some approvals.. I was tough that was w/our kids.. I wasn't begging, reminding, threatening.. I told them once, thats it.. I was going to work that hard. I worked hard enough w/the rest of what was going on, or had to be done.. Hope you find a way.. Take Care, Donna....

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