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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Everything Teens.

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:41 AM
  • 8 Replies


by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:41 AM
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I-mABeliever
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:48 AM

sorry i messed that up. Just post your opinions on the below questions. :)

Cell phones? Rules?

Curfew?

Punishment?

Chores?

Limited extracurriculars?

Unshaproned 'dates' with friends?

Dating?

Allowance?


Thanks. xD

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:25 AM



Quoting I-mABeliever:

sorry i messed that up. Just post your opinions on the below questions. :)

Cell phones? Rules? DS9 and DD's7 not for at least another 7 years before I think about this. DD21 does what she likes with her phone though she lives here.

Curfew? Younger children don't go anywhere without me or without me picking them up - DD21 doesn't go anywhere enough to warrent a curfew - she's normally home from a day out with friends by 5pm or she spends the night at her (male) best friends

Punishment? DS/DD's get banned from the Xbox for X amount of days depending on the offence or I spank if it's a major offence. DS will also have extra chores and if the DD's make DD21 clean their room they're grounded from their room until she's satisified that they won't mess it up. Don't really punish DD21 I yell if I have to or I unplug the internet on her.

Chores? DD deals with most of the laundry, cleans the kitchen nightly (depending on her mood is whether she does it well) and her bathroom, DS is in charge of feeding the animals and picking up our 2 dogs poo (.20 a poo) and DD's are just supposed to clean their room.

Limited extracurriculars? DS and DD's are members of the local Y and have weekly classes, DD21 has guitar, vocal and driving lessons that she pays for herself.

Unshaproned 'dates' with friends? DS goes to freind's houses occasionally - he prefers to stay home most of the time - he had a friend that lived around the corner from us but after she left him and the friend at home with the 18yo (who's special needs - nothing against them but I DON'T KNOW THE BOY!!!) he doesn't go there anymore and they moved, DD's7 I stay for the entire play date, and DD21 I just like to know where/who she is with/at (even though I think she's lying) so she goes where she wants and does occasionally spend the night with her best friend.

Dating? DS and DD's7 not for years, DD21 I've told her I don't think she's ready for dating but like I said I don't know where/who she goes with when she's not with me so I don't know if she is with someone or not but she doesn't go out enough for me to be suspicious enough

Allowance? DD21 makes her own money, DS gets money when he picks up poop. DD's7 just get money for doing special jobs


Thanks. xD thats okay



handy0318
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:51 PM

Cell phones? Rules? The kids get their own cell phones at 13.  Rules are we can check the messages and texts anytime, for any reason. They are our phones, we pay for them, we pay the bill for them, we check them... Our daughter already had hers taken away for 6 months due to inappropriate texting. She earned it back though after we had some good discussions about it. No such thing as privacy for the phone (or Internet for that matter.)

Curfew? Sundown for our 13 yo... our 15 year old, depends upon what she's doing and who's she's with. We negotiate when she needs to be back each time.

Punishment? Whatever fits the crime.  My son once threw a fit because he didn't want to interrupt his game to bring in the firewood that he should had brought in long before.  I made him sit outside in 20 degree weather for about 3 minutes... then asked him if he was cold.  He said yes, so I told him, "Then bring the firewood and you can warm up."  We've always tried to tie discipline to the infraction making real life consequences to bad behavior more clear.

Chores? I always tell my kids that my job as their mom is not to cook for them, clean for them, pay their way etc.  My job is to raise them to be responsible people.  So, they definitely have to do housekeeping jobs, cleaning their own rooms and doing their own laundry, cook dinner at least once a week, and because we live on a ranch, take care of animals and outside chores.  They earn money by doing extras like unloading hay, babysitting, doing fencing, or doing special jobs like washing and vacuuming my car.

Limited extracurriculars? We live really way out, so they can't take part in extracurriculars.  We make it a point to get my daughter to the school dances and we take plenty of trips to the aquarium, zoo or movies and let them bring friends.

Unshaproned 'dates' with friends? With the opposite sex, nope, not going to happen. We might discuss the issue when they get get about 17 or so... but for now, no way. Since you ask about dating next, I'm wondering if you mean same-sex friends... and yes, they can hang out with their same sex friends unchaperoned, but only if we know the friend quite well, which we do know all our kids friends and have for years (advantage to living for years in a really small community.)  I would be very leery letting them take off for hours with some kid I didn't know though... no, I don't think I'd allow that.

Dating? Since all dates are chaperoned, then yeah, they can date.  My son isn't interested as of yet, but my daughter has had a couple of boyfriends.  They just have to be OK with it being a family affair.

Allowance? When we can afford it, we let them have $20.00 monthly allowance, which isn't much, but they can add to it by earning extra cash.  As of now, we can't afford the extra $40 a month, I wish we could because it's a great way to help them understand money management. 

bexsmum
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:51 PM

Cell phones? Rules? They all recieved a cell phone for grade school graduation. I refered to it as the electronic teather. The were expected to answer it when it rang period end of story. They didn't have texting until grade 10 and could pay for it themselves.

Curfew? Never gave them a curfew they were told don't be out too late. WHen they asked what too late was I told them they would know when they arrived too late. Only happened once to my DD and she was in 10th grade. Never happened again and I have 4


Punishment? It fit the crime. Grounding punishes the parent in my eyes. Chores were a wonderful to get the point across. You don't let the dog out when you get home from school,guess whos walking him at 10:30 in Jan,not me. forget to change the load I asked you to do,guess who does all the laundry for the next week.  I also removed the taxi service as punishment,mine figured taking public transit was a punishment in itself.






Chores? You live in this house you help in this house End of story. It didn't just mean keep your room in some semblance of liveable. Dishes,dusting, laundry floors etc ect ect

Limited extracurriculars? They did what they wanted with in our cost allowance. As long as we knew where they were and when they would be home and if they answered the phone.

Unshaproned 'dates' with friends? Yes, my kids were in cadets and they did alot of friend activities on the weekends and the movies sometimes on weeknight

Dating? Yes,although we needed to meet the date,and most often the hung at one of the houses unless it was the movies,semi,prom,or a party after the game

Allowance? Yes so they could learn to manage money. They were given 20 bucks  aweek but don't come looking for extra to go out to the movies or for food at school .


lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:23 PM


Cell phones? Rules?17 I pay for them. NO texting If I call you better answer.

Curfew? in HS 9pm weeknights 11pm weekends unless special event

Punishment? loss of privileges and chores added

Chores? trash to curb 1xweek, bedroom must be spotless before going out Fri night Do anything you are asked (load dishwasher, run vacuum, put load of laundry away)

Limited extracurriculars? Pretty much 1 sport per season although some do overlap, clubs at school as many as they can handle

Unshaproned 'dates' with friends? age 17

Dating? age 11

Allowance? no we dont believe in it. we live here we all clean it. We will give money as needed no problem.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:07 PM

Cell phones? Rules? Junior/high school. I paid for pay as you go, and only texting. Anything else they had to pay for.

Curfew? Was more dependant on what their plans were, but 9 on weekdays and 11 on weekends was the standard rule.

Punishment? Removal of 'fun' stuff.

Chores? Rotated and not a lot with 8 kids things are pretty well devided.

Limited extracurriculars? One extra per semester otherwise I would never be home...an broke.

Unshaproned 'dates' with friends? 16 hard and fast rule. It was one of my hills to die on.

Dating? Again 16

Allowance? None they live here, they help. They could earn money with other ways though.

PurpleHazey
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:05 PM

Cell phones: not unti they can pay for their own.

Curfew: under 18 over 16 in the summer 10, winter 8 for 12 to 16

Punishment: depends on what for

Chores: They know what they have to do

Limited extracurriculars: none if grades are up.

Dates: 16 period with or without friends

Dating : 16

Allowance: Teens don't need any extra money so none, I pay for things like the show, golfing exc.

gonecrazi
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:15 PM

 

Cell phones? Rules? DS 16,has a cell phone. He spends weekends with his bio dad sometimes. If he goes over his minutes I take away the phone

Curfew? Haven't really had that problem yet

Punishment? Grounding from ALL electronics.

Chores? Clean his room and his bathroom

Limited extracurriculars? He is on the high school football team.

Unshaproned 'dates' with friends? Haven't had to do that yet,either.

Dating? He doesn't have a girlfriend

Allowance? No set amount. We just help out when he needs something, which isn't often.

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