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Do we manage our family better than our older generations?

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:30 AM
  • 22 Replies


  Do we, women, these days run our family better than the women in the past? Are we more organized and less frustrated than them? Or do you think its the other way around?

Pls share what you think


by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sahlady
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:13 AM
3 moms liked this

I think we have more advantages.  Take laundry... we have so many blends that dont wrinkle, dont need to be ironed, and it is rare to find a mom that doesnt have a washer and dryer.  That alone is a HUGE time saver.

On the other hand I think we have (some) moms who now fret over the stupidest smallest things.  How many times do you hear a mom upset that their child had thier feelings hurt at school.  No one is getting drafted, fewer kids are dying from childhood disease, things are different so moms are starting to worry over the small things now... in stead of letting their children learn the life lessons and become stronger people.  Hence, we get young adults who feel they are entitled to things just because they exist as people... instead of because they earned it.


Yes... that was a huge generalization... but Im sure you get the jist.

momof98and03
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:36 AM


Yeah, I understand what you are saying.  My mom or grandma  tell me how they managed the household back then and I see that inspite of all that they still had time left for themselves. Yeah, one thing here is they were stay at home moms throughout. But, if we see that as a big advantage then immediately we also get to see that we have the advantage of modern gadgets more these days than back then for them.

So, its really not whether women had jobs or women have machines. Its all about how we manage our time and prioritize in life. I dont know, but I am never able to come to a conclusion even though it generally speaking.

Quoting sahlady:

I think we have more advantages.  Take laundry... we have so many blends that dont wrinkle, dont need to be ironed, and it is rare to find a mom that doesnt have a washer and dryer.  That alone is a HUGE time saver.

On the other hand I think we have (some) moms who now fret over the stupidest smallest things.  How many times do you hear a mom upset that their child had thier feelings hurt at school.  No one is getting drafted, fewer kids are dying from childhood disease, things are different so moms are starting to worry over the small things now... in stead of letting their children learn the life lessons and become stronger people.  Hence, we get young adults who feel they are entitled to things just because they exist as people... instead of because they earned it.


Yes... that was a huge generalization... but Im sure you get the jist.



sahlady
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

I think we may be more organized out of necessity.  I am a sahm and have been from day one and will be until the last is in college.  Yet, my mil always comments on how busy I am in comparison to when she was a sahm.  Working would necessitate being more organized than the moms of yester-year who stayed home, and the nature of todays childhood with all the club sports, outings, and outside commitments would dictate that even the modern sahm be more organized because she has more running around.

ON THE OTHER HAND......

The one thinG I think that has slipped today is pride.  I dont think you see as much pride in the moms of today.  In the past it was a matter of pride to keep your home nice, your children well groomed, yourself in shape, healthy, and well groomed.  How many moms today do not see the need to even make a bed in the morning?  I understand about being busy, but there is something about keeping a clean house, preparing  a healthy homemade meal, eating together, and looking nice that really makes a difference.  So maybe we are more organized in the sense that we get things done... but the things we have lost may have been just as important... if not more so.

Quoting momof98and03:


Yeah, I understand what you are saying.  My mom or grandma  tell me how they managed the household back then and I see that inspite of all that they still had time left for themselves. Yeah, one thing here is they were stay at home moms throughout. But, if we see that as a big advantage then immediately we also get to see that we have the advantage of modern gadgets more these days than back then for them.

So, its really not whether women had jobs or women have machines. Its all about how we manage our time and prioritize in life. I dont know, but I am never able to come to a conclusion even though it generally speaking.

02nana07
by Ida on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:07 PM

 I think it depends on the moms both of today and yesterday.  I agree there are so many advantages to save time but most (not all but most) wouldn't make it if they hit hard times because they are spoiled.  This goes for the moms as well as the kids.

 

movieq
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:09 PM

I don't necessarily think that we are more organized because I think they organized what they had very well in general.  We have more things to organize but does that mean that we are more organized?  I don't know.  I struggle with being organized.  I think the levels of frustration were probably less just because there wasn't the social exposure and demands placed on them to the level that we have today.  We are exposed to so much more and want so much more of the "things" in life that we forget to value what's important.  I think that our "progress" hasn't necessarily helped us as women but I wouldn't trade it because I like the choices it affords me.

handy0318
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:02 PM

Drawing on my memories of being a kid in the 60's, I'd say we're less organized, but way less frustrated.  In my memories, I see nothing but well organized, clean houses, going with my mom over to neighbor's for coffee and it really was like June Cleaver, women in dresses, a tray set in the living room with tea cups. I remember my mom never leaving the house without wearing a hat and gloves. No kidding, I remember this very well.  All of us kids knew that all the parents were watching each of us... if I misbehaved at Sally's, not only would Sally's mom discipline me, my mom was sure to hear about it as well. So, I do remember well organized families and households.  

But, it was also very frustrating and my own mom, like a lot of her friends, felt both pressure and boredom.  The women's movement happened and women started getting a lot more opportunities.  Houses became messier and kids weren't as watched over... but all in all, I'd say that most of the trade offs have been worth it.  

Playitagain
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:25 PM

Interesting, well my one grandmother who had 14 kids did so much better. But she lived on a farm/ranch in the middle of Montana. My other grandmother lived overseas, and wasnt that great.

I think each generation has huge challanges. I think personally I am much more frustrated then my grandmothers ever were. Each generation has its own set of problems and things to figure out be it war, cars, education, the internet, cell phones/tablets/computers. Be it drought, famine, its a very hard thing to begin to figure out. I would never feel like I should say we do better, run families because I think it not only depends on the time, but the place you live in, and its not fair to determine something based on todays values in such a manner. 

momof98and03
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:35 PM


Yes I agree. Lot of moms if they are out of work simply dont care for themselves and dont care how they look anymore. Its like I dont go out anymore, nobody really sees me so why do I care how I look? Its really not right.  Yeah, that pride is no more. And when it comes to homes too very few actually care to do it even though they dont have any guests coming over.

Quoting sahlady:

I

The one thinG I think that has slipped today is pride.  I dont think you see as much pride in the moms of today.  In the past it was a matter of pride to keep your home nice, your children well groomed, yourself in shape, healthy, and well groomed.  How many moms today do not see the need to even make a bed in the morning?  I understand about being busy, but there is something about keeping a clean house, preparing  a healthy homemade meal, eating together, and looking nice that really makes a difference.  So maybe we are more organized in the sense that we get things done... but the things we have lost may have been just as important... if not more so.


jazzgirl205
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:00 PM
2 moms liked this

In 1998, when dd was 6mos old, my older brother asked me what parenting books I was reading.  I  laughed and said that if I had a problem I would just ask Mama.  "Well," said childless brother, "they might offer some good advice."  I told him that I had seen 30 yrs worth of parenting advice from those books and I was not impressed.  I reassured him by saying that I had a book that told me where dd should be developementally in case there was a problem.  

I think older generations managed their families better.  They believed that they would be held responsible by God if they failed their children.  Mothers didn't seem intent on being friends with their children or paranoid that their children would not like them.  Also, they referred to themselves as "Housewives" not "stay at home moms."  Although both terms base a woman's identity on someone else,  I think being identified as a helpmeet to one's husband is a more accurate (and more desirable) term than merely the caretaker of children.  "Housewife" links a woman to the entire job of maintaining a home, and by extention maintaining civilization.  

Today, every type of media tells us that is is okay to be haphazard, disorganized, frantic, and put up with disrespectful sarcastic children. In fact, the media teaches us that this is normal.  Anyone on TV who seems to have a "perfect" family is viewed with suspicion or is characterized as a hypocrite with a terrible secret.  Eventually, we take this for granted just like we imagine all supervillians have british accents.  

We are every bit as stalwart as our grandmothers were (well, maybe not me) but we have been duped into expecting less from ourselves and our families.  

Sahlady, although you may have to hack through this reply with a machete in order to find it, I do agree with it. 

Quoting sahlady:

I think we may be more organized out of necessity.  I am a sahm and have been from day one and will be until the last is in college.  Yet, my mil always comments on how busy I am in comparison to when she was a sahm.  Working would necessitate being more organized than the moms of yester-year who stayed home, and the nature of todays childhood with all the club sports, outings, and outside commitments would dictate that even the modern sahm be more organized because she has more running around.

ON THE OTHER HAND......

The one thinG I think that has slipped today is pride.  I dont think you see as much pride in the moms of today.  In the past it was a matter of pride to keep your home nice, your children well groomed, yourself in shape, healthy, and well groomed.  How many moms today do not see the need to even make a bed in the morning?  I understand about being busy, but there is something about keeping a clean house, preparing  a healthy homemade meal, eating together, and looking nice that really makes a difference.  So maybe we are more organized in the sense that we get things done... but the things we have lost may have been just as important... if not more so.

Quoting momof98and03:


Yeah, I understand what you are saying.  My mom or grandma  tell me how they managed the household back then and I see that inspite of all that they still had time left for themselves. Yeah, one thing here is they were stay at home moms throughout. But, if we see that as a big advantage then immediately we also get to see that we have the advantage of modern gadgets more these days than back then for them.

So, its really not whether women had jobs or women have machines. Its all about how we manage our time and prioritize in life. I dont know, but I am never able to come to a conclusion even though it generally speaking.



jazzgirl205
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:02 PM


sorry, I meant, I do agree with YOU.

Quoting jazzgirl205:

In 1998, when dd was 6mos old, my older brother asked me what parenting books I was reading.  I  laughed and said that if I had a problem I would just ask Mama.  "Well," said childless brother, "they might offer some good advice."  I told him that I had seen 30 yrs worth of parenting advice from those books and I was not impressed.  I reassured him by saying that I had a book that told me where dd should be developementally in case there was a problem.  

I think older generations managed their families better.  They believed that they would be held responsible by God if they failed their children.  Mothers didn't seem intent on being friends with their children or paranoid that their children would not like them.  Also, they referred to themselves as "Housewives" not "stay at home moms."  Although both terms base a woman's identity on someone else,  I think being identified as a helpmeet to one's husband is a more accurate (and more desirable) term than merely the caretaker of children.  "Housewife" links a woman to the entire job of maintaining a home, and by extention maintaining civilization.  

Today, every type of media tells us that is is okay to be haphazard, disorganized, frantic, and put up with disrespectful sarcastic children. In fact, the media teaches us that this is normal.  Anyone on TV who seems to have a "perfect" family is viewed with suspicion or is characterized as a hypocrite with a terrible secret.  Eventually, we take this for granted just like we imagine all supervillians have british accents.  

We are every bit as stalwart as our grandmothers were (well, maybe not me) but we have been duped into expecting less from ourselves and our families.  

Sahlady, although you may have to hack through this reply with a machete in order to find it, I do agree with it. 

Quoting sahlady:

I think we may be more organized out of necessity.  I am a sahm and have been from day one and will be until the last is in college.  Yet, my mil always comments on how busy I am in comparison to when she was a sahm.  Working would necessitate being more organized than the moms of yester-year who stayed home, and the nature of todays childhood with all the club sports, outings, and outside commitments would dictate that even the modern sahm be more organized because she has more running around.

ON THE OTHER HAND......

The one thinG I think that has slipped today is pride.  I dont think you see as much pride in the moms of today.  In the past it was a matter of pride to keep your home nice, your children well groomed, yourself in shape, healthy, and well groomed.  How many moms today do not see the need to even make a bed in the morning?  I understand about being busy, but there is something about keeping a clean house, preparing  a healthy homemade meal, eating together, and looking nice that really makes a difference.  So maybe we are more organized in the sense that we get things done... but the things we have lost may have been just as important... if not more so.

Quoting momof98and03:


Yeah, I understand what you are saying.  My mom or grandma  tell me how they managed the household back then and I see that inspite of all that they still had time left for themselves. Yeah, one thing here is they were stay at home moms throughout. But, if we see that as a big advantage then immediately we also get to see that we have the advantage of modern gadgets more these days than back then for them.

So, its really not whether women had jobs or women have machines. Its all about how we manage our time and prioritize in life. I dont know, but I am never able to come to a conclusion even though it generally speaking.





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