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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Teen sexuality?

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:03 PM
  • 20 Replies

I have three girls still at home and have always been extremely cautious of where I allow my children to be with out me. It scares me to think of my children being put in a position to have to make choices they are not "ready" to make. 

I have a friend with an 12 yr old daughter and was appalled to find out that my friend allows her daughter to "date" or "hang out" with boys. The daughter was making out with some boy the other day when I stopped by. Mom was completely ok with this and was just sitting in her bedrrom on opposite end of house from her daughters bedroom which is where two tweens were.

What is your take on this subject? I dont know what I would if I caught my 13 yr old daughter making out. I have always been open in talking about sex with my children (I have 7, 3 at home still), not had a problem yet. I am worried my youngest will at an early age give me trouble when it comes to boys.

I honestly dont believe ANYONE could convince me that 12 yrs is old enough to be "dating" but I am curious about what other people think.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sahlady
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:10 PM

just hope she is ready to be a grandma soon.  there is no reason on gods earth a 12 yr old should be having a boy in her room, much less making out.  I have an 11.5 yr old and that is 5th grade.  I am floored at your "friend".


btw... how do they "date"?  no one can drive.  I cant imagine that a 12 yr old boy has enough money to pay for a meal or a movie.  what kind of "date" do they go on?

Pooobaihr
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:58 PM

At 12, there was a boy I called myself "dating". lol though it wasn't even "dating". I just talked to him on the phone every day. We didn't even go to the same school. He was in junior high and I was in 6th grade.  At 13, it was the same thing. There was a boy I was "dating", but it was just mostly talking to him on the phone. I was in 7th and he was in 8th.  But, because he wanted to start kissing, and I didn't want to, even had issues with just holding his hand, he broke up with me. XDDD

I guess I say all of this to say, trust your kid.  Trust your kid to know to make the right choices. If you think its too young, then say so, however, also express that she shouldn't allow guys to just push themselves on her and all that other stuff.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Mine are now 19 and 21 and no they did not date actually until senior year and that was their choice.  They could have earlier.  DD 21 had a couple boyfriends for a week or 2 before that but she dumped them pretty quick, lol.  I never had an issue with them wanting to be with a boy at 12.  They started having parties here in HS at 14, boy/girl.  We watched them and knew the kids after a while and they knew the lights were on and we were walking through a lot.  Never an issue there either.  We checked for alcohol after they get older and made kids give us their purses etc.  It was do that or not come to parties at our home.  12 is NOT old enough to date.  14 yo are not old enough to date either.  Just asking for trouble. 

cat4458
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:24 PM

12 is way too young.  How do you know that they were kissing if your friend lets them stay in the girl's room?  Was the door open? They call it 'dating' in my 14 yo dd's middle school. They like certain boys & txt about 'who do you like' etc. & they have dances that they dance with boys but it's nothing serious.  I have seen on fb 2 girls in my dd's class that we have had issue with as their parents let their girls do things that aren't age appropriate, have seen innaporpriate sexual talk on fb by these girls & now see they are going to the mall & who knows what/where else with their boyfriends and the one girl posts about it. I don't know of any other girls in her class that do this & I know that most of the girl's parents are strict like we are. Boy/girl parties in homes are coming up soon.  I'm not looking forward to that.

k1kelley
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:35 PM

12 is definitely too young! I hope mom wakes up before it's too late!

ebbierowe
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:39 PM
While I don't have a problem with teens dating I would allow a boy in my 12 year olds room.

Now my 15 year old dd has a male best friend ....they hang out together, go to movies and such. He has only been in her room once and that was when she had another friend over.

But I 12 I think the mom should have been supervising better. They all could have been in the living room...
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Playitagain
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:35 PM

I have been hanging out with boys my entire life. But dating?, I see no problem if they are friends because I never got along with girls (still dont). But dating hmmm.... I had the talk with my 10 year old daughter but thats because they are about to have sexual education at school and I wanted to make our family beliefs known first. 

atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Its laying down your expectations and morals on the subject now and going over it again and again through the years. 

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM
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My sons did date at age 12. why ? because I know and saw so many kids sneaking to do it. What we did was teach them how to date. We made them call and ask her parents if she could date. I will be honest I thought that alone would end it. It didn't. They had to have plans in place. The dates until age 17 were chaperoned by DH & I or her parents. They had to go to the door and call for her. Reiterate the plans. After the date they walked her to the door and thanked her parents for letting them date her.My sons were taught about respect and respecting the girl they dated and her parents rules as well as ours. We had zero problems. the parents raved about my sons and thought  their girls were being taught valuable lessons. My sons never had girls in their rooms. We never allowed that. The girls spent lots of time at our house and with us. We took them on vacations with us. My sons went on vacations with the GFs families. They did not share a bedroom . They knew what the rules were and respected them. My oldest dated the same girl through HS and 1st year of college. My younger one dated the same girl for 8 years. I think for us our choice to let them date worked well.

PurpleHazey
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:08 PM
2 moms liked this

!6 point blank...I am tired or people arguing about how there 13 year old has a boy/girl friend and then a year or so later you hear they are pregnant and then they have the gull to ask where did I go wrong.

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