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Ex takes better care of his new family/child then his firstborn-How to Deal?

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:00 PM
  • 20 Replies

Hey there,

It's me again. 3 months ago I had a post about should I take my child's father for support. I was still researching and mulling over it but it just seems like the the writing is on the wall.  He paid the tuition in the end and now we are backed up again. The deal is he pays when he feels like it period and he has reimbursement from his job so I can't see why he says he doesn't have it. So now this past week I received a letter that my child would be expelled from school for non-payment. I missed my portion for 2 months so I did not attack him. We both missed the same amount of months. the school wanted a certain amount of money and I told my ex we need to come up with some money so our kid wouldn't be kicked out of school. He blatantly told me he didn't have it and I had better do something. 

I spoke to the school and they negotiated with me and brought the amount due down $800 dollars! so we only had to pay a smaller amount (much smaller). When i reached out to my ex again he still told me he didnt have it. 

i was beyond pissed. Here's the clincher. I just found out he was giving a big blow out-birthday party for his second child with his live in girlfriend this weekend and that's why he refused to help his first child out. I cannot believe that he wouldn't give me a dime knowing that they would expel our child. But a big fabulous party for his 3 year old with characters and all the trimmings was more important.

I am not surprised because he doesn't want to pay for private school tuition anymore for our child. this is not the first time I have dealt with this (him doing more for his new family and the girlfriend has a tween son from a previous relationship who my ex takes care of). I have been dealing with this for 3 years.  Trust me folks I understand about having huge fab parties for your child. I have had them myself! I am just floored that he wouldn't try or offer anything to help his first child stay in school.

He makes a lot of money and get's paid weekly and lives with his new girlfriend's mother in a house. I know for a fact that he just didnt want to do it. 

Please give me your comments. How do you deal??  I appreciate it! 



by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:00 PM
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by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:37 PM
It sucks these sorta situations what can ya do!! Not a lot take him to court I guess if you haven't already!! The kid (s) get the poo end of the stick normally when these types of issues come along😕
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by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:45 PM
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What part of "he doesn't WANT TO" don't you get?  For whatever reason, he's moved on.  If you want child support, TAKE HIM TO COURT.  That should have been the FIRST THING you did, after the baby was born.  If she's not 18 yet, you still can.  Get cracking.

by Trisha on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:09 PM

It sounds like the only way you will get any kind of monetary support from him is to take him to court.

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:17 PM
My daughter is the 2nd child and gets treated way better than the 1st child who is my step daughter who we never see. Trust me he wants the see his daughter we live 2 states away from her and BM won't let us have her
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by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:24 PM

Well damn sabrtooth! I love it.  My child is only 15 so I do have time, thank you for coming at me like that. I have already made up my mind to do so and yes I should have when the child was born but I thought I didnt have a case because he gets his kid like almost half the week, he's under his medical and he pays for his cell phone. So I thought I didn';t have a case especially with close friends telling me I may not have a case and I kinda sorta have it made even though he pays the tuition late. 

So I am not listening to any of that anymore and will make my move. I have some things to work on so I can have my ducks in a row and then I will attack.

and sunflowers it's so true-with these situations this usually happens. sad but true. So I am going to court. Thanks to all!

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:30 PM

to Fam -you got that right. I will go to support for sure. I am not dealing with this any longer.  ANd savannahmom, thats nuts! I don't know what;s the baby momma's problem. Probably she's jealous of you and your new family with her ex but that aint all folks. Me perse would want him to see his child even if he has moved on so thats why i'm stumped to why you could just say "screw" it to his first child. I pray that his first child mother's at some point sees her ways and allows your family to be with her child. 

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:55 AM
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Glad you are taking him to court, he sounds very selfish I'm sorry. Hang in there and good luck
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by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:05 PM
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If he gets reimbursed for it why is it not being taken from him checks already? I am guessing from reading other replies this was an agreement you guys had out of court? And that the local support agency is not involved (yet)? That was a mistake to begin with. But there is nothing you can do now other than suck it up & file now. Good luck!

by Emily on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:09 PM
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 Court ,sometimes it is the only way.I have a friend that her former was picking up tuition for the school their child had always attended.He is special needs.Mom hadn't finished college and dad is a doc.They had agree to her getting extra support for four years as long as she attended college full time and made good grades.This was so she would have a decent job to help support their son.She was getting a special ed. teaching degree.Her ex thought it was great ,she could help their son more.He met someone ,she had kids ,he wanted a bigger house to impress the new one and one day refused to pay second semester tuition for their son.The tuition wasn't written in the orders . 

by Grumpy on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:12 PM
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It sucks.  You are either going to have to take him to court or you're going to have to pay for it yourself.  You can't change him and if you try you're just going to feel like you're hitting your head on the wall.

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