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Teen son failing Math/Geometry Do you CM's punish or get tutor/take things away-Your thoughts please

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:49 PM
  • 31 Replies

Hey Cafe Mom's,

I'm trying to do this the best way I know how so my son can get his studies together for Math and start passing. He does borderline with the homework but when it comes to quizzes and tests  he fails them or gets a low grade. The teacher has already recommended tutoring and he has been going off and on and I can't seem to get them to tell me if he was really there but of course he tells me he was or tells me that there isn't tutoring certain days blah blah blah. I just checked the school's website and learned he failed his Geometry midterm and now the whole subject for the current marking period with a 61. He never fails anything and is a B & A student! 

There is regualr tutoring in the school but I think I am going to get a paid tutor as well for the weekends. He loves his xbox and facebook/instagram (ya'll know the teens!) I was wondering would it be effective if I pull that stuff away or limit his time on them and hire a tutor and give him a chance to turn this around??

Any ladies with tween/teen kids that have dealt with this before and what were things that worked for you and your child?

Many thanks!

Toshi


by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:58 PM

I would stick to the school tutoring AND weekend tutoring. I would also ban all recreational internet use. If he's saying he's there/there's no tutoring CALL HIM ON IT. If he says there was no tutoring ring and ask, if he says he was there ring and ask. Even turn up randomly on occasion to check that he's there. I would also ask the teachers to email all homework to you, and he will sit in front of you and complete it to a satisfactory standard (your standard). RE tests/quizzes I would get an evaluation to make sure he doesn't have any disabilities/test anxiety.

GrammaJane46
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:04 PM
3 moms liked this

As a retired math teacher, I should tell you that Geometry is VERY different than other math courses and can really throw kids off.
That said, he still has to pass it to be on course to graduate in most states.
By all means, tie his x-box and computer time to a passing grade -- D's don't make it.  He has to get that grade up to at least a C to earn ANY game time.  The tutoring program should be able to sign a time-sheet for him telling you when he arrived and when he left, although that's not a guarantee he did any work while there.  Definitely see that he spends some time at home with a tutor under your eagle eye.    He can bring the grade up if he applies himself.  Once the grade starts coming up, he can earn his 'fun' time back in small increments.  Maybe 30 minutes for each 10% increase in his marks.  
 

Mbpeaceful12
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:45 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree with the mothers who posted before me. My fourteen-year-old who was twelve and thirteen at the time was going through the same as your son. In fact, her grades were so bad that she almost did not graduate from Catholic school (8th grade). She thought that being the class clown, half-assed doing assignments, and playing The Sims were more important. So we took away her Sims games, her laptop, and made her ass go to tutoring every single morning for Pre-Alegbra at six to be there for tutoring by six-thirty. And how she complained, but I did not care. I told her that she will complain more if she has to get two and three minimum waged jobs in the future because she was messing up in the present. I am sorry, but when I was her age, I saw many of my classmates chose x instead of y and their lives are not great today; in fact, some of them are no longer with us. All it takes is one decision to detour your life. So, she improved her grades in order to graduate. Now a freshman in high school, she is earning a 3.3 GPA. On Saturday she received an invitation to attend a Summer Bridge program at UCLA for students of color who want to pursue math, science, engineering, or technology. So, my main points out of this long reply are: (1) Whatever you decide to do be consistent; (2) Make sure that the entire family is on board with this plan-kids thrive on confusion and parents (also other family members) not being in agreement; and (3) it would be nice for him to see what can happen to him if he does not make the right decisions today. 

I wish you and your family the best of luck!

tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:17 PM
1 mom liked this
It depends on why he's failing. If he's truly not understanding the concepts then, no I wouldn't punish him but he'd be at Sylvan or another tutoring center. If he's failing because he's not doing the work or turning it in due to laziness, then he's be grounded.

As someone who struggles with math and failed Algebra 2 and Geometry, no amount of tutoring helped me. I just don't have a mind for math.
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drfink
by Emily on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:25 PM

 

Quoting tyfry7496:

It depends on why he's failing. If he's truly not understanding the concepts then, no I wouldn't punish him but he'd be at Sylvan or another tutoring center. If he's failing because he's not doing the work or turning it in due to laziness, then he's be grounded.

 Agree !!!

sommerrae
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:10 AM

 

I totally agree with you. This is how I had to deal with my son. My constant popping up at school randomly and "getting on his nerves" worked totally for me. I took EVERYTHING from him. It was a slow process and once he realized I was not going to get off his back, he started doing everything he could to bring his grades up. He now has a 91% in math. Hang in there. He'll come around! Good luck!!

Quoting GleekingOut:

I would stick to the school tutoring AND weekend tutoring. I would also ban all recreational internet use. If he's saying he's there/there's no tutoring CALL HIM ON IT. If he says there was no tutoring ring and ask, if he says he was there ring and ask. Even turn up randomly on occasion to check that he's there. I would also ask the teachers to email all homework to you, and he will sit in front of you and complete it to a satisfactory standard (your standard). RE tests/quizzes I would get an evaluation to make sure he doesn't have any disabilities/test anxiety.


 

sahlady
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:15 AM
3 moms liked this

our rule is that you only get punished for lack of effort.  if the effor is there but the grades are bad then you get a tutor.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Stay on top of the tutoring.   Since you are not getting marked improvement with the tutoring program at school, hire a tutor.      Yes, his techno gear is your leverage..... take it away or limit his time until his grades improve.     Stay in contact with his Math teacher.   Ask the Math teacher where your son's weakness lies, so you can tell the tutor.




mamabear0791
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:52 AM
1 mom liked this

This 

and...

I would also add that maybe he is having some test anxiety. Ask his tutor to work with him specifically on anxiety. I did well woth the homeowork because I coudl do it in my own time but would lose my cool when I knew I had a certain amount of time to get it done. 


Quoting GrammaJane46:

As a retired math teacher, I should tell you that Geometry is VERY different than other math courses and can really throw kids off.
That said, he still has to pass it to be on course to graduate in most states.
By all means, tie his x-box and computer time to a passing grade -- D's don't make it.  He has to get that grade up to at least a C to earn ANY game time.  The tutoring program should be able to sign a time-sheet for him telling you when he arrived and when he left, although that's not a guarantee he did any work while there.  Definitely see that he spends some time at home with a tutor under your eagle eye.    He can bring the grade up if he applies himself.  Once the grade starts coming up, he can earn his 'fun' time back in small increments.  Maybe 30 minutes for each 10% increase in his marks.  
 



hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:04 PM
1 mom liked this
We paid for a tutor and tried to see if it was test anxiety. Also, sometimes students fail on purpose because they do not have a confident relationship with their teacher and fail on purpose not realuzing it only hurts them.
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