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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Extracurricular activities...

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 I have always been of the opinion that kids need to be involved in something (sports, clubs, dance, whatever).  It just seems to make them more well rounded and keeps them out of trouble.  The SD that I raised and the DD and SD that I'm currently raising all did sports and have never had problems out of them (other than normal teen stuff).  My other SD that I raised I couldn't get to do anything.  She'd try and quit.  She ended up staying with her mom over the summer at 16 and coming back home pregnant.  She has struggled her whole life. 

Now, it might have been that that's just her, and not all kids need to be involved.  So now I'm dealing with my DS, who's 14, he's done soccer since he was 5.  Last year he broke his foot during a game, and once healed, the next game he sprained his wrist.  He wanted to try something different, so he's doing track.  This is the third week of practice and he wants to quit.  He loves computers and is so smart.  He's shy and not social.  He comes home and plays (remotely with his friends) on xbox and computer as much as I will allow.  He makes good grades, he has gone to some basketball and football games, and he got student of the month last month.

So what do you moms think?  I don't want him to go down a bad path.  I don't want him to end up a kid that just stays locked up in his room playing video games all day.  He says he'll try soccer next year, but I'm afraid he'll try that and decide not to do it either, or he'll be so out of shape for soccer that he won't make the team.  BTW, I haven't paid any money for track yet, so that's not an issue.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:16 PM
Replies (11-20):
sleeblended
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:07 PM

 We have family night once a week.  We go hiking at least once a month.  I just signed us up for a Wounded Warrior Run.  So yes, I do things with him and my other kids.  But he also needs to socialize with other kids.

Quoting nuts4scouts:

Instead of filling your kid's time with a lot of outside activities, consider doing things WITH them.

Take a fun class.

Go hiking.

Go riding - bike/horse.

Visit museums.

See a play.

Go to programs put on by local organization/agencies.

Sign the whole family up to do volunteer service together.

Join the YMCA.

 

Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:40 PM

We have a rule at our home. Rule #1 You must be doing some kind of activity.  Rule #2 you are not allowed to quit until the season is over or activity ends. My kids have broken a wrist or finger or what not and they are still required to go to every practice and game. If you find you do not like it than next season you can pick something else. We have had to add a Rule #3 one sport per season. My daughter wanted to try them all. You can't be in two places at once. 

Bertieb
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:50 PM

My SS doesn't do anything extracurricular or with friends. He's never been on a date, attended a party or ballgame with friends.  He graduates in May with a high GPA and plans to go to an engineering college. We know it isn't the social norm to be like he is but he is busy applying to colleges and seems happy in his world. I think he will do fine, maybe even thrive when he gets in an environment with like minded kids and hopefully a roommate or neighbor that will be a good friend.

drfink
by Emily on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:16 AM

 Like others have said there are other extracurriculars than sports.Look for something that blends with his computer interests.

bizzeemom2717
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:40 AM
Do they have a debate club?
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Carmel63
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 7:38 AM

Make it his responsibility to pick SOMETHING and stick with it.  I also have a son that would like to be left alone, and he is not into sports.  He plays the trumpet, does taekwondoo, and is in scouts.

MJP76
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:06 PM

I am of the like mind that kids need to stay busy. My daughter is in Dance, and both of my son's do Tae Kwan do. With my oldest son actually teaching now PT at the studio he's been practicing in for the last 14 years, while he is in college.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:39 PM
My kids aare part of several things...

Antlers..a youth program run by the Elk's lodge. They do community service and have social time.

Church youth group

Sports...I require they do a sport at least 2x per week. One does karate, the other two both do gymnastics...

Boy/Girl scouts

Communtiy theater
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jandhmommy
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:33 AM

DS  9th grader does not like sports, and doesn't really hang out with other kids outside of school.  He is outgoing at school, just likes to be a homebody.   He did sports (soccer, little league, b-ball) until 4th grade, and he finally told us he didn't like it at all.  He is in advanced classes, sings in the concert choir at school, and I made him join a service club at school (so he does "something" and also earns volunteer hours needed for honors graduation).  I think you just have to know your kid.  Some are joiners, and happy to do things outside of home/school, others are not.  That doesn't mean they will go down a bad path.  I think as long as you show interest in them and their interests, and spend time with your child, they will be okay.  I know studies show that kids in sports, etc. get into less trouble than other kids, but I think as long as you are involved, and don't just leave them to their own devices (just b/c you don't have to go to practices, games, etc), they will be fine.

justamomma2
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:42 AM

Tell him he has got to be involved in something, both of you could research his options and let him choose.  If he doesn't find one he is willing to do, tell him no games or x-box.  Possibly he could volunteer at the library.  I think it is important to keep the kids involved in something, it helps with their people skills and builds self confidence.  Track is a great option since there are so many choices to do in track.

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