Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Do You Ground Your Teen For Being 1 Minute Late According To YOUR Clock?

Posted by   + Show Post

My sons girlfriend was over & when we take her home if she's 1 minute late he grounds her but according to my clock we're at least 4 mins early.  He doesn't realize everyone's clock are not set with his. I told him I could understand if she's 15 mins or later on being late but a minute?  What's your opinion?  

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:50 PM
Replies (51-55):
MJP76
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:20 PM

His daughter his rules.

yes, if my daughter is late by 1 minutes she gets grounded.. But that's if she's going somewhere walkable, or rideable on her bike. All of our clocks are set for the same times as all of our phone clocks. 

IF she is somewhere that is I drivable distance and if like her BF's mother is bringing her home, it's usually a time frame like "be home between 7 and 8"  but typically we are the ones that pick her up and drop her off so it's not an issue.

Valencia777
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:18 AM

Thats just crazy.  Noone should be grounded for being 1 minute late.  I suggest that he should give her a five minute grace period. Maybe you can suggest this.

Valencia Christina

 

LuckyMom822
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 3:39 PM



Quoting MamaSnaps:


Quoting mommybug77:

Quoting luckysevenwow:


court order does not have to take place at my house. He'd have to work around her school/work schedule. I do not have to make anything easy on him. His parents would have to put up the money for a lawyer.

OK. Let's flip this over. How about we make something a little easier on the mom that is then forced to be both mom and dad? NO ONE wants to see a child grow up without 2 loving parents and noone wants to be a single mom. It's a hard row to hoe. So, why should the boy not have to help her? Why should he not have to take on any of that responsibility too? Why shouldn't he have to take up some of the time caring for the child so she can work or go to school or get her hair cut? Why should SHE have to take care of daycare and doctors appointments and midnight feedings alone? She didn't get  that way alone!


In reality there is no attorney needed by the father. It's cut and dried and he can go file for his rights totally free of charge. Then if you want to fight him you get to hire a lawyer, but his rights are his rights and very easy to obtain in court.

this sounds exactly like what my mom told us when we were kids. she wanted us to pay dearly for any mistake we made because we didn't do exactly what she said to do. that is a control freak.. I was 23 when I discovered I was pregnant. her reaction? well you just f'ed up your life!!! lol! i was a college grad, working, had my own life, lived in another state. but i messed up because she didnt tell me i could get prego. she isn't allowed anywhere near my kid. 


Acalhoun
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 4:12 PM

No. If they're going to be 15 minutes or more, I expect a phone call or text. Otherwise, we don't ground anyone for being late.  Lateness happens. Often for unexpected reasons.  As a family, we tend to be late to a large percentage of things.  To me, lateness is not a punishable crime unless they were doing something they weren't supposed to.

My mom made me walk home from friends' houses if I wasn't outside the door waiting for her when she came to pick me up.  Didn't matter if we were miles away.  I was not a rebel by any means.  I tried to be out there, but sometimes things just happen.  I hated that she would do that to me.  It didn't teach me not to be late - it just taught me to fear her more. 

Marlene14
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:30 AM
2 moms liked this

Sorry it's taking me so long to get a reply out.  As for the clock situation, I go by my Jeep clock when driving, I do not mess with my phone when I'm driving.  The first lawyer I talked to months ago told me that CPS most likely wouldn't place her with us since it's our son who got her pregnant.  We fostered for awhile & with that I don't know if it would be a plus for us or not. I really need to call them to just get an idea of what can be done, if anything on their part anyway.  They don't want to give the baby up for adoption, they're both willing & wanting to taking responsibility.  Like other's said, don't say never cause it could be your child in this situation no matter what kind of household they're in.  Some of you may think your child isn't having sex as a teen? Think again!!!  I was raised in a strict, christian home, private school, church everytime the doors were open, yet my twin sister & the youth leaders son got pregnant our Junior Year of high school, big shocker!!!  So it happens to all kinds not just those sluts, manwhores,....D & U they've been in a relationship but have had it rocky since she got pregnant because of her dad not letting them see each other & my son there to support her thru this pregnany!!!     Her dad is getting social security disability for all of them plus welfare, food stamps,....he works but under the table so he doesn't lose any of that SSDI & that's what he's afraid of losing if D moved in with us & what HE will gain when the baby gets here.  She's on pregnancy food stamps, WIC,...everything he could get her on, he did immediantly but she's limited on when & how much she can eat.  Her cousin took her grocery shopping a few months ago & spent $100 on simple foods for her to carry with her, put in her locker, hide under her bed,...just so she could eat when she wanted/needed to.  Her siblings eat all the food they do get with her WIC  D's belly is so small so the Dr has to keep doing ultra sounds to make sure the baby's growing, shows she doing good.  D's dad is mad because we have a room just for the baby, I guess he was going off about that & other stuff.  


My son & D are not letting this stop them from finishing school, college, careers they want.  It might be harder to get there but they're determined to do it & I admire them for it.  I've told both of them they are to keep looking at their futures & what they've already planned, that just because you have a baby coming doesn't mean everything just stops.  My son is awesome with little ones & D has helped take care of her siblings so they both have that going for them.  Also, last I knew it took TWO to get pregnant & it was consensual so if some would have a problem with the boy getting their girl pregnant you better think twice on how things really work, you're daughter had a part in it too.


MamaSnaps, I couldn't have said it any better in your posts, thank you!  Yes, the father has rights & anymore it's not as hard for the father to get custody depending on the situation.  One of the lawyers I talked to told me to make sure his name is on the birth certificate & then file a paternity suit.  I've been telling D that her & U (my son) are the only ones who have say over that baby, us grandparents don't have any.  So any decisions they make for the baby is between them & there's nothing we as grandparents can do.  I told D her dad still has the say so over her but not the baby.  We've talked about me being in the delivery room but she doesn't want her parent's in there so I won't be either, but I told them if they need me to get me.


Mommybug, sorry but you're really getting on my nerves & I think that bug crawled up your ass!  As a father of the baby my son does have rights.  A father has every right to see his child if you like it or not.  The courts will make the decision on how things will be, not the grandparents.  The police would have a lot to do with it because it would be court ordered & if the grandparent would cause a problem I'm sure something would be said or done with that grandparent!  No one said you would have to like the boy or have him IN your home but the boy didn't do anything more 'wrong' than your girl did!  That girl would be making your life a living hell if you acted like that if she got pregnant & would probably walk out & then what would you do with your daughter on the streets or god knows where?  Good Job Mom!!!  What world are you living in???!!!  Surely not this one!  Be glad there are still teenage boys who ARE willing to be there for their girl, for their baby, to do what he can to do what they thinks best for the baby in their care!  He's been at EVERY Dr appointment, every parenting class with D, now birthing classes, he's already doing what a father should do for his girl & baby & she's not even here!


With that, thank you ALL for your comments & opinions.  They've been helpful & gives me an insight on what other's think & feel.


Marlene

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)