OK, got to the nitty gritty last night. My son had also stolen my laptop and my external hard drive.
I found the laptop last night in his room. I don't use it often so it went unnoticed. I got it back and looked at it and it is no longer in working order. He had told his friend, "A" that he had stolen it, A got excited and wanted to see he so he took it to school. He then got nervous and A took it home because my son didn't want to get caught with it. He got the laptop back the day before I found it. The external hard drive was tampered with and is no longer in working order. Apparently my son wasn't bright enough to get the power cord to it and A tried to figure out why it wouldn't turn on by taking it apart.
Because my son stole it, and A knew it was stolen and they both tamperred with it to the point of destroying it, I believe they are both at fault for this matter. "A" is claiming innocence. My son was devistated that his friend was going to get into trouble for it and he would "lose" his best friend over this matter but maintained that he was aware it was stolen.
I do not want to go to the police and file charges against both boys (son for theft and destruction and A for possession of stolen property and destruction), but I do want consequences. I spoke to the asst. principal today because A's parents were there with the external harddrive (I called them last night and informed them he had it and it was stolen), maintaining their son's innocence.
I do want something done. I feel that restitution on BOTH boy's parts is the best way to go and to teach them that this is not something that is tolerated. Criminal record, or suspension, not so much because it's a punishment without a lesson.
What do you think? Too over the top? I know what I'm going to be doing so I'm not looking for you to tell me I'm right or looking for justification in this matter, just curious on what other parents would do.
Do I believe this boy knew it was stolen, yes I do. And from what I learned about this boy since yesterday, I have no doubts. I have met the boy once, and that's it. I have never met the boy's parents so I have other people telling me of their experiences with this boy.
Well As parents know and are choosing not to hold him accountable. If you want him punished I think your only option is going to the police.
I agree with your reasons for not wanting to go to the police. However if my son was in the same exact place as your son (grounded from everything for other reasons) I think I would go to the police. I would hope that it would be a wake up call. I do think they need to make restitution as well
First of all I would find out why in the hell did your son need to steal your laptop. Than I would take the door from his room and take everything out of his room and just leave the mattress on the floor. If he has no respect for your property than he should have nothing. No privacy, no nice furniture, no tv, no phone until he pays you back for the laptop. As for the other kid if it wasn't for your son stealing he would have no part in this especially since the parents are backing him up and don't believe he knew it was stolen. And by the way why would you believe your son who is a thief. I wouldn't believe anything he would say to me. Good luck I hope your son learns a valuable lesson.
What you want and what will happen are two very different things. Unless A's parents decide to no believe him you have a he said, he said situtation. The only way that will be resolved is with police involvment. The school can only do so much and while I understand that it was brought into the school, the fact is it was stolen outside of school, and wasn't even on school property when the original theft happened. That would make the schools hands tied also.
Quoting fantasticfour:
Just got back from the school. I first spoke to the asst. principal who seemed at least interested in helping. I came back to see the resource officer there and was really surprised at the reaction from him. Not helpful at all. He was not even willing to speak to the boys! I was told "you can either be a parent out charge your son with a felony. I've already spoken to the other boys parents and there is nothing to be done there." I was like seriously? So I went to guidance and am having my son moved away from the boy in class and apparently no one knew they go to the choir room in the mornings so they are locking those doors now. As for why he did it, because him and his friend thought it would be a great idea. they wanted it.
I think you need to focus on your son. It really doesn't matter if his friend knew it was stolen or not. You can't change other families, but you can make sure that your son learns from his mistakes. Your son is responsible for his actions and all that occurred afterwards. His actions caused this mess and his actions are the ones you need to focus on.
She did it!!
- fantasticfour
on Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:46 AM