How can I help

[Valencia777]

Dear People

   I joined this group because I need help dealing with a problem that my child has. He is 17 but is short and

its really bothering him.  We've taken him to the specialist but the dr. asked him to get a hand xray and he

refused so, we don't know if he's going to continue to grow or not. I believe that he will keep growing but I

have no proof.  My child is depressed but will not speak to a therapist.

 Please give me advice. I am having a terrible time with this issue and I just want to help him but  I only

seem to make him angry.  I love my son and I'm desperate to help him. 

Thanks

Valencia Christina

 

 

[GleekingOut]

Quick question - what privelegies does your child have? What does he really like to do. Find his currency and make having that privelege a reward when he does something a doctor asks, like getting his xray - and going to the therapist.

[mumsy2three]

Why is he refusing to have the xray done? Is he afraid of the results? How short is he, does he get picked on about it?

Sorry for all of the questions but I am just trying to get where he is coming from. I work in a high school and there are some very successful male athletes, who are shorter than their peers.

[atlmom2]

My dd got a hand xray at 4. It showed bones in her hand were a different age than her wrist. What did it prove? Nothing. She is 19, 4 ft 10 and 92 pounds. She deals and being a girl, it is easier. She does get asked at most restaurants if she wants a kids menu and sometimes, she does, lol. She knows when she is 30 and looks 20 and her friends look 30, she is gonna love looking so young. DD looks like a 12 or 13 yo. I don't have any answers. We have always been super supportive of her. We did tons of testing and found nothing. Did you consider growth hormone? We never did and dd is glad she didn't do it.

[sabrtooth1]

The wrist xray shows bone age, and the Dr can prescribe human growth hormone if it is indicated. It is simple, non invasive, and definitive. Since your son refuses this, and therapy, I suspect he is using these issues to control you. Demand he get treatment, and stop giving in to him.

[LuckyMom822]

Self image issues are hard to help others with. He will see that height is not the end all to his social life but he has to put himself out there first to see that. The 12 year old that has large breasts has these same issues. My daughter is embarrassed to wear skinny jeans because she has gymnast thighs. She blames me for putting her in gymnnastics at three. Ugh! You can't win. He is using this as a crutch. God made us all perfectly. In all shapes and sizes. You may have to give him a little tough love and tell him to get over it. Love life! Love yourself! Stop whining because you are short. There are worse things! Then have him do charity work with vets. Maybe that will open his eyes. Good Luck!

[MrsJoe125]

It sounds like he wants to be left alone about it.

FYI: boys grow much longer than girls.  My dh was just barely done growing when I met him at age 22.  Also, girls like a guy who's their height.  I dated a guy who was a full foot taller than me and it wasn't easy to kiss him, etc.  But dh is about 5 inches taller than me and it's WAY easier to kiss and hug.

[atlmom2]

How tall is he?

[atlmom2]

True. I stopped growing by 14. My dd's before 16. Some boys do grow more at 18.

Quoting MrsJoe125:

It sounds like he wants to be left alone about it.

FYI: boys grow much longer than girls.  My dh was just barely done growing when I met him at age 22.  Also, girls like a guy who's their height.  I dated a guy who was a full foot taller than me and it wasn't easy to kiss him, etc.  But dh is about 5 inches taller than me and it's WAY easier to kiss and hug.

[gonecrazi]

 Hello and welcome.. If he won't do as the doctor asks there is not much you can do. Maybe he will hit a growing spurt soon.

[boys2men2soon]

Have you asked him why he refused the xray?    It could be that he is afraid of the answer.   If he will not cooperate with the doctor, or see a therapist, perhaps you can speak to his school counselor?