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Advice Needed: I am a divorced mom of 2 girls 14 and...

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:58 AM
  • 10 Replies

I am a divorced mom of 2 girls 14 and 9, my 14 year old is really mean to the 9 year old calls her annoying, i do remind her that when she was 9 her older brothers (now 24 and 22) called her the same. she also likes to try to start arguements with my bfriend and her then tries to turn me against him. they normally get along but just once in a while she seems to wait until im in the shower to get snotty with him then turns it all on him. i am at my wits end. thanks

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:03 AM
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The 5 year difference is a lot. I would say this is normal for siblings of those ages. SIL's are 5 years apart and hated each other for years.
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lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:06 AM
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The minute she starts you escort her to her bedroom. You explain that when  she can talk respectfully and apologize she may return. She needs to know her mouth will not be tolerated.

cat4458
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:20 AM

I agree with this We had quite a time with our now 14 yo dd (smart mouth) & did this & removing items like phone, ipod, tv, computer & having to do it over & over it has worked finally.  She has not smarted off for over a long time now (months). I think it gave her sense of POWER/CONTROL. She finally figured out who had the power & control & it wasn't her it was her parents. We knew she could do it as she had for short periods of time but this has worked for the long haul it appears. Good luck.  The disrespect is the worst to put up with & shouldn't be tolerated. 

 

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

The minute she starts you escort her to her bedroom. You explain that when  she can talk respectfully and apologize she may return. She needs to know her mouth will not be tolerated.

 

 

sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:03 PM

It would help if your live-in was her step-father.  Then he would have more authority.  Have there been other bfs that have come and gone?  She may feel like she doesn't have to be respectful because he isn't permanent. 

bizzeemom2717
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Talk with her. Explain what specific behavior won't be tolerated and the consequences, cell phone gone, whatever. When it happens the first couple of times make sure to be consistent and follow through...she will cut out the crappy behavior if she realizes her crappy behavior will be followed by a consequence she doesn't like
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MJP76
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:54 PM

The sibling thing is mostly normal... Reminding her how she felt when it happened to her is appropriate.

pbut as far as your BF is concerned, she needs to be put in her place. No child should disrespect any adult.

gonecrazi
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:59 PM

 Remind her to be nice to her sister,because she might need a kidney one day. That's what I tell my boys they are 16 and 10.

mygirls2012
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:49 PM

 

LOL!! I used to tell my boys when they fought one day your going to love one another and they swore that would never happen now at ages 23 and 25 they are best friends.. Girls on the other hand WAY MORE DIFFICULT!!  My youngest has the biggest heart, yes she sometimes talks way too much but shes 9 and thats what i keep telling  my older daughter, you were once 9 and you did the same.. But with girls I noticed way more drama then the boys... Uuggg!!

Quoting gonecrazi:

 Remind her to be nice to her sister,because she might need a kidney one day. That's what I tell my boys they are 16 and 10.


 

mygirls2012
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:54 PM

 

No on any other BFs.. And I dont want to get married again lol... been thru 2 after the 1st one I didnt remarry until 9 years later and we were married for 13 years together for 20.. so no not planning on ever getting married again. and funny you say that because last night during her issue she said to me i will always be your daughter he may not always be your boyfriend... well I told her he isnt going anywhere and if she cant control herself then she will be spending alot of time in her room.. we discussed the issues today and she seems better this afternoon.. not sure how long it will last though...

Quoting sabrtooth1:

It would help if your live-in was her step-father.  Then he would have more authority.  Have there been other bfs that have come and gone?  She may feel like she doesn't have to be respectful because he isn't permanent. 


 

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:05 PM

Sounds pretty normal to me, especially with the divorced part.

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