trying to hang in there (vent)

[queensweet]

So my FS have been cut and now I have to figure out how to budget so there will be enough to eat. I probably will just cut out a lot of meat or all of it since it is so expensive. I tell my 13 y/o not to eat everything up when it comes to what we do have. But being the selfish, spiteful a** he is, he does it anyway. When I b**ch about he acts like he doesnt hear me or looks at me with a blank look. Whatever. Anyway, now that I have recovered from being sick, I am desperately looking for a job. I walk to the library almost everyday and fill out numerous applications but nothing yet. Of course, bills are steadily piling up. I applied for assistance with gas and electric bill but I may not get any help. Sigh. Does anybody have any words of encouragement? I feel like just saying the hell with it and giving up some days. I never thought my life will be like this. I use to have things together. Oh well. what are you going to do? Life is so unpredictable..

[the3Rs]

Well - no. I won't be in that situation, though the fact that you're wishing that on anyone is pretty telling about the kind of person YOU are. I feel sorry for your son having a mom talk about him like that. If you have NOTHING else in the world, you have FAMILY - that's the one thing you should cherish not chastise.

Quoting queensweet:

Quoting the3Rs:

Sorry but I can't get past you calling your son a selfish, spiteful ass because he eats your food. OMG. My 13 year old eats us out of house & home (yet is skinny as a rail) - he's a growing teenage boy. They eat a lot! Sheesh.

yes they do eat a lot. But there is a big difference between being hungry and eating ALL of the main courses so no one else cant have any which is being spiteful! You dont the sh** I go through. So with that said why dont you keep your narrowminded, judgmental comments to yourself! one day you are going to be in my shoes and will no what it feels like. I hope it happens to you soon!

[02nana07]

 Go to save a lot and get a pick 5 for the meat each week that will be a meat 5 days a week for $4.00 each day. buy potatoes 50  lbs for $11 at save a lot they should last a month.  You can also get pinto beans there for $15 you get 25 lbs.  Buy what you need and if he eats all the extras you want have to worry so much if everything has to be cooked he will eat at meal time unless it is left overs.  Just cut out junk food and buy everything else in bulk and you should be fine.

[3mom627]

I understand about kids eating everything. We have 4 kids and our food bills are ridiculous. What we do sometimes is hide some food from them. Put it somewhere where he won't find it, if it isn't perishible. I am trying to make mine understand some things like extras that when they are gone, they are gone. Why did you FS get cut?  Jobs are really hard to find. Try to look for assistance somewhere. There has to be some program that you will qualify for. Hugs.

[bizzeemom2717]

Do you have a place like a bakery outlet you can try? Maybe some cheap type of bread would be filling for him. I hate to say it, you may need to resort to something like locking your food in a box with a combo lock or lock with a key only you have? Sad, but if your son is disrespecting you, may be only thing you can do and a wake up call for him. Hang in there and hugs. Have you called the local church or mission outreach in your area to explain your situation? Even women's abuse shelter? Not that you are being abused, just they may be a good place to get single mom resources? So sorry, will try and think on more places for resources. Do you live in a bigger city or more rural area?

Quoting queensweet:

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

I would set out a daily limit on what your DS can eat. Also agree with pp's that pasta is cheap. Contact local churches about food banks

Yes I have set limits of what he can eat but I can not watch him 24/7! There have been plenty of mornings I have went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and found plenty of shit missing! lol. And yes I was pissed! I already scheduled an appointment with a local church this coming Saturday at 9 a.m. Since it is not on the bus line, I am going to bundle myself up, get my granny cart and start walking the 2 miles there and back.

[imperfectmom72]

Is there a church pantry nearby? Perhaps they can help you stock up on some non perishables and/or cereals to tide you over. Maybe also using coupons to help you save some money. Maybe you can stash away some food so that he does not have access to it, thus eating it up. I hope you do find a job. I'm in the same boat myself. Good luck! 

[queensweet]

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Thanks for the positive reply! I have thought of locking food up but I had to find out if that is considered neglect and child abuse. The thing is that my son is very manipulative and mouthy. He has told tales at school and also to his paternal family. His past school considered calling cps on me. If it wasnt for the fact they saw me at his school everyday they told me they would have followed through with it. His paternal granny threaten me with cps as well. She and her no good son are a piece of work! Sigh. My girlfriend suggested I talk to a social worker before placing him elsewhere after he finishes 8th grade. I cant take anymore years dealing with the sh** I have been dealing with this kid. The food thing is just the tip of the iceberg. I am also going to get advise about the locking up food. I am just so tired. Huhhh! I live in the county where there is a food pantry not too far from me. I will be going Saturday God willing.

[bizzeemom2717]

Maybe you could just lock up the more expensive food? He wants to be a jerk, I would like you said leave out Top Ramen and vegetable soup! Good luck!

Quoting queensweet:

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Thanks for the positive reply! I have thought of locking food up but I had to find out if that is considered neglect and child abuse. The thing is that my son is very manipulative and mouthy. He has told tales at school and also to his paternal family. His past school considered calling cps on me. If it wasnt for the fact they saw me at his school everyday they told me they would have followed through with it. His paternal granny threaten me with cps as well. She and her no good son are a piece of work! Sigh. My girlfriend suggested I talk to a social worker before placing him elsewhere after he finishes 8th grade. I cant take anymore years dealing with the sh** I have been dealing with this kid. The food thing is just the tip of the iceberg. I am also going to get advise about the locking up food. I am just so tired. Huhhh! I live in the county where there is a food pantry not too far from me. I will be going Saturday God willing.

[Ewa101]

So sorry you are going through such tough times.There are many suggestions here to help you with getting food on the table (food banks, church).  How about your mother in law.  Can she help?  Can your son go there once in a while to have dinner?  Can both of you?

I am a little concerned about your relationship with your son.  Yes, he should be more considerate, and not eat the last morsel in the house.  But he is only thirteen!  I sense there is a lot of anger there, maybe on both sides.  Why all the anger?  It's not your fault that times are tough, but it's not his either.  Can he help financially?  Have a talk with him, maybe a good cry.  Things must get better between the two of you.  Tough times will pass, your relationship with your child is more important.

[vlynn.iowa]

Definitely go to the food pantry.  Buy only the necessities, cut out chips, pop, junk food in general.  I remember when we didn't have a lot of money for food (with 3 little ones in the house).  Hamburger helper and canned fruit were the mainstay of dinner.  I'd buy it on sale of at the discount grocer.  Good Luck

[jazzgirl205]

3Rs,

We were in that situation and it had nothing to do with finances.  We were snowed in up in the mtns for almost a week with only 2 days worth of food  (it was a vacation house so there were no staples in the pantry).  I had to tell dd that she could not snack or fix herself anyfood.  She was only to eat at mealtimes.  Thank God that I had milk, bacon, flour, and butter.  I didn't even clean the grease in the skillet.  I just saved it for gravy for the next meal.  We had a lot of biscuits and thin gravy.  I even stretched the canned vegetables by "creaming" them with flour, milk and grease.

My Mexican grandmother used to say, "Whenever you point your finger at someone else, there are 3 fingers pointing at you."

Quoting the3Rs:

Well - no. I won't be in that situation, though the fact that you're wishing that on anyone is pretty telling about the kind of person YOU are. I feel sorry for your son having a mom talk about him like that. If you have NOTHING else in the world, you have FAMILY - that's the one thing you should cherish not chastise.

Quoting queensweet:

Quoting the3Rs:

Sorry but I can't get past you calling your son a selfish, spiteful ass because he eats your food. OMG. My 13 year old eats us out of house & home (yet is skinny as a rail) - he's a growing teenage boy. They eat a lot! Sheesh.

yes they do eat a lot. But there is a big difference between being hungry and eating ALL of the main courses so no one else cant have any which is being spiteful! You dont the sh** I go through. So with that said why dont you keep your narrowminded, judgmental comments to yourself! one day you are going to be in my shoes and will no what it feels like. I hope it happens to you soon!