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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

What did I do wrong?

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:24 PM
  • 11 Replies

Hi everyone!  I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You see, I am a brand new grandmother of a cute little girl. The problem is, my daughter, the baby's mother is still being rude and disrespectful towards me.

But that's everday. My concern was for my granddaughter.  I felt that my daughter, at 17 was incapable of taking care of someone so young. She wouldn't clean her room (a baby needs a sterile environment), not telling anyone that the baby needs milk nor cleaning the bottles/nipples. It broke my heart when I picked up the baby and she was sucking hungrily on her pacifier.

I couldn't stand aside and let this continue, especially when she and her bf slept through the baby's wailing.  I contacted the paternal grandmother about my concerns and they responded that they would be interested in getting custody of the baby, rather than having CPS place her in foster care.


Now my daughter comes in the house furious with me, telling me to mind my #@#% business, and that I'm a selfish bitch.   Rather than argue with her, I let her rant and scream at me until finally, she dissolved into tears.  

*sigh*.  I may be the most hated mother on the planet, but, it's a small price to pay for looking out for a young baby..


by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this
This is why kids shouldn't be mothers.
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boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:42 PM

Did you try talking to your daughter before contacting the paternal Grandparents, or was that your 'first move'?     Perhaps your daughter can take some parenting classes.    If she isn't capable of or willing to take proper care of her baby, you had to step in to protect the baby.




imperfectmom72
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:01 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting boys2men2soon:

Did you try talking to your daughter before contacting the paternal Grandparents, or was that your 'first move'?    


Yes, I did try talking to her. she'd roll her eyes at me saying "I know, Mom!" I'll admit, I wasn't the best mom to her when she was young but I'm not that person anymore. My concern is for the baby. It hurt that I had to do it, but in the end, I want my granddaughter to be protected; I can't stand aside and allow her to be raised by two unemployed young parents who act like the world owes them something, particularly my daughter. 

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:31 PM
2 moms liked this
So what was your plan to help the baby though? Why were the paternal grandparents willing to adopt it instead of CPS placement? Were you considering placing the baby with CPS? Babies don't need a "sterile" enviornment like you said, just a clean and healthy one with a responsible loving adult.

Quoting imperfectmom72:




Quoting boys2men2soon:

Did you try talking to your daughter before contacting the paternal Grandparents, or was that your 'first move'?    



Yes, I did try talking to her. she'd roll her eyes at me saying "I know, Mom!" I'll admit, I wasn't the best mom to her when she was young but I'm not that person anymore. My concern is for the baby. It hurt that I had to do it, but in the end, I want my granddaughter to be protected; I can't stand aside and allow her to be raised by two unemployed young parents who act like the world owes them something, particularly my daughter. 

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tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:44 PM
2 moms liked this
You did what's best for the baby. Once your daughter grows up she will see this. Hopefully. If the paternal grandparents take custody I hope your daughter and the father take parenting classes so they can be parents at some point.
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tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:46 PM
I know many teen parents that are amazing parents. Just like I know "adult" parents that are horrible. My cousin had a child at 16 and she's raised an amazing child to adulthood without help from anyone.

Quoting atlmom2:

This is why kids shouldn't be mothers.
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Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 3, 2013 at 10:37 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting tyfry7496:

You did what's best for the baby. Once your daughter grows up she will see this. Hopefully. If the paternal grandparents take custody I hope your daughter and the father take parenting classes so they can be parents at some point.

I agree with this. The baby could not speak up for itself, and so it seems like you did what was best right now. 

imperfectmom72
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:36 PM



Quoting bizzeemom2717:

So what was your plan to help the baby though? Why were the paternal grandparents willing to adopt it instead of CPS placement? Were you considering placing the baby with CPS? Babies don't need a "sterile" enviornment like you said, just a clean and healthy one with a responsible loving adult.
 No ma'am I am not in the position to provide for the baby (unemployed but actively job searching); I am on FS to help out. I do not wish for CPS to place the child anywhere that's not family but her paternal grandparents and I had a meeting and we all decided that it would be in the best interests of the baby and mother that the baby stay with the grandparents as they can better provide than I could alone. 
imperfectmom72
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:46 PM

Ladies, thank you alot for your input. It was a very difficult post to write becuase there is a lot more to the story. I was crushed to see my daughter cry like that but in the end, the baby's needs are paramount.  I went into her room after she left and again, not one effort was made to tidy up, at least clean up the mess. When I contacted the caseworker, I gave her the paternal gm's number. I hope we can do this ASAP. I felt that i had no choice in "snitching". I'm a sensitive empathetic person and to see a baby or anyone's baby not cared for properly bothers me. 


It was hard but I didn't let her rattle me, although when she came up to me aggressively i backed off a bit. Welcome to the real world, little girl. It's an unforgiving place. I love her, but when she turns 18 in 3 weeks she's is on her own. Meanwhile, I'll be working on creating a life and being there for my grandchild! 

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I just can't imagine not being able to get through to my DD how serious something with her child was to the point I had to call social services and have it taken away from her? I would do ANYTHING in my power to keep the child under my roof, honestly I just cannot imagine, I had my DS very young as well, but was a loving and responsible mother. Good luck, I hope you find a different solution other than taking your DD's child away, I would try parenting classes, community resources, like I said anything.
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