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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

What does it take to get this kid some help?

He ran away tonight.  FINALLY found out where he was.  At some kid's house I have NEVER heard of, who I have never had interaction with, etc.  So I didn't know what to do, called the police and asked if I should go over there to get him (not knowing the parents or able to find a working phone number) or if I needed an escort.  They said they would have an officer call back.  Dispatch called said a cop would be waiting on us.  Get there, MISCOMMUNICATION on the dispatcher's side and I got CHEWED OUT!  They said I should just go over there and get him and not waste his time!  That was the reason I called!  I didn't call 911 I called nonemergency!

So I pick him up and get him home.  Dad starts trying to talk to him, explains that you can't do that, blah blah blah and he throws himself on the floor screaming.  Literally THROWS himself.  Bloodied his head up pretty good.  Get him calmed down, cleaned up, I send dad out of the room to calm down and I sit down at the kitchen table (he's sitting on the floor) and try to talk to him.  What did I say to trigger it?  Oh yeah I told him selfpity was the most useless emotion and he said no love was.  I asked him why love was and he said "where did it ever get me".  So I asked him to explain that and he bloodied his head up again.  Has scratches on his neck/shoulder from where I was trying to keep his head from hitting the floor.  While he screamed for me to kill him.

That's it.  911.  Cops come, but because he didn't say HE was going to kill himself only that he wanted ME to do it, they couldn't commit him forcibly.  EMS show up.  Cops hoped he needed stitches to get him INTO the hospital so they would keep him.  Nope, don't need stitches.  Finally says he will go to the hospital, no one has beds and they all told me that if he wasn't suicidal then they wouldn't take him anyways and since both cop and ems were here and didn't transport him they wouldn't take him because he wasn't suicidal. 

WTF does it take to get this kid some help?????

I'm to the point of a 72 hour vacation

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:03 AM
Replies (21-25):
bizzeemom2717
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:43 PM
Let them admit him for at least the 4 hours, better than nothing, he's physically harming himself, might help might not but def worth the try.

Quoting fantasticfour:

I talked to them.  I informed them that he DID harm himself, busted his head open twice before the police arrived and they flat out told me, unless he is suicidal they won't take him.  Told me that they spend 4 hours evaulating him for suicide and if he doesn't fit the criteria then he's sent home.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

The EMT's couldn't find a room because they weren't putting him threw the right way. You have to go in and say he is threating to harm himself. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:32 AM
Exactly. You do whatever you have to do. Am I the only one seeing excuse after excuse? I've been there, done that with my bi-polar son and I would lie out my butt to make sure he got the help he needed.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Let them admit him for at least the 4 hours, better than nothing, he's physically harming himself, might help might not but def worth the try.



Quoting fantasticfour:

I talked to them.  I informed them that he DID harm himself, busted his head open twice before the police arrived and they flat out told me, unless he is suicidal they won't take him.  Told me that they spend 4 hours evaulating him for suicide and if he doesn't fit the criteria then he's sent home.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

The EMT's couldn't find a room because they weren't putting him threw the right way. You have to go in and say he is threating to harm himself. 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
bizzeemom2717
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Yeah the war of the words as you put it or something similar is just ridiculous I agree, mental healthcare is in a sad state in the US these days. If my child was harming themselves and asking others to kill them I would lie my ass off if I had to. He needs help. My fear is it will be too late. Sad thing, when the call goes out to 911 and it's too late, all the police can say is oh sorry our bad wrong call? You and only you are the chief advocate for your child. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Exactly. You do whatever you have to do. Am I the only one seeing excuse after excuse? I've been there, done that with my bi-polar son and I would lie out my butt to make sure he got the help he needed.



Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Let them admit him for at least the 4 hours, better than nothing, he's physically harming himself, might help might not but def worth the try.





Quoting fantasticfour:

I talked to them.  I informed them that he DID harm himself, busted his head open twice before the police arrived and they flat out told me, unless he is suicidal they won't take him.  Told me that they spend 4 hours evaulating him for suicide and if he doesn't fit the criteria then he's sent home.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

The EMT's couldn't find a room because they weren't putting him threw the right way. You have to go in and say he is threating to harm himself. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:26 AM

The school has a psychologist coming in today I believe.  At home he is completely supervised.  COMPLETELY.  Even in the bathroom.  I don't "watch" him, but I stand in the hallway while the door is still open.  There are no doors in his room, all cabinets, pantries, and everything else is key locked and I'm sleeping upstairs.

At school, they know what's going on and are trying to help me with everything.  They have him escorted everywhere.  I take him to school, he's escorted to every class, to the bathroom, etc.  He is NEVER alone. 

As for excuses, excuses, you can sit there and tell me that until you're blue in the face and it won't do anything.  I am trying my butt off.  So is his Dad.  I have a feeling I know what this is all about and I hope that he either A grows out of it or B there is a way to help it.  I know someone else who displays the same types of symptoms and they are related.   I have given all my information to those who can help him, it's up to him though to open up and help himself.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Yeah the war of the words as you put it or something similar is just ridiculous I agree, mental healthcare is in a sad state in the US these days. If my child was harming themselves and asking others to kill them I would lie my ass off if I had to. He needs help. My fear is it will be too late. Sad thing, when the call goes out to 911 and it's too late, all the police can say is oh sorry our bad wrong call? You and only you are the chief advocate for your child. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Exactly. You do whatever you have to do. Am I the only one seeing excuse after excuse? I've been there, done that with my bi-polar son and I would lie out my butt to make sure he got the help he needed.



Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Let them admit him for at least the 4 hours, better than nothing, he's physically harming himself, might help might not but def worth the try.





Quoting fantasticfour:

I talked to them.  I informed them that he DID harm himself, busted his head open twice before the police arrived and they flat out told me, unless he is suicidal they won't take him.  Told me that they spend 4 hours evaulating him for suicide and if he doesn't fit the criteria then he's sent home.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

The EMT's couldn't find a room because they weren't putting him threw the right way. You have to go in and say he is threating to harm himself. 



lazyd
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:23 AM

YEP, my recently turned 14yo daughter is/was the EXACT same way.  She is a runaway, suicidal and a cutter - since about 13.  We took her to the hospital - but they also wouldn't take her - the hospital didn't have any beds.  You can SEE all the CUTS all OVER her body - legs n arms!  I guess there is just too many "crazy" kids out there!  We were at the hospital from 5pm til 2am!  Just to talk to someone!  We got hooked up with the school's psychologist at her last school.  Plus my son has been in therapy since he was 3, so we were all ready "connected" to therapist, so i was able to get my daughter seen by the teen therapists.  My daughter has a teacher, counselor and school psychologist at her current (new) school to talk to if anything bad is going on with her day.  Plus we are also doing family therapy.  My daughter switched schools to an "alternative" school that has very small class sizes so they can concentrate on each student better.  You might want to try this with your son.  We had to have a "recommendation" from her "home/current" school - but my daughter's old school was willing to get rid of her!  (SAD!)  Things are slowly improving - SLOWLY - and we are still having trust issues.  

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