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Would you worry??? OR am I a worry wort?

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:39 PM
  • 16 Replies

I'll try to make this short.....our (almost 16 year old daughter) just recently (2 weeks ago) broke up with her first "serious" was a kind breakup....they still text and talk.  While they were still together, they introduced some of his friends to her friends (he's almost 17)....their friends started my daughter is being left out of EVERYTHING...yet, when she and FRED (not his real name) were dating, they included their (then single) friends into a lot that they didn't matter to them that their friends were single....NOW that SHE is the single one, apparently it matters.

Her 2 best friends are guys...and they are the only friends she talks to girls.  Our daughter is fairly popular, athletic, smart....and has many aquaintances, but apparently not many good girlfriends....I'm SO worried, because to me, she appears to be OK with doing NOTHING....weekends...she's with us....she texts her 2 buddies....but goes no where....does nothinlg.

I've asked her to talk to me and tell me what I can do to help....and she says "Mom, stop worrying...I'm FINE"......but is it NORMAL to just sit around and do nothing at her age?  I'm worried.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:39 PM
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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:49 PM
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It's normal in the circumstance that you have mentioned. It's kinda what happens once boyfriends and girlfriends start entering the picture. In time she will find new friends, or new people to just hang with, but she needs to do it in her time and her way. 

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:50 PM
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I always had guy friends growing up. Girls were just way too dramatic and lied to get their way. Guys were blunt and honest and a hell of a lot more fun. (Clean fun!) But when they got girlfriends or had "serious guy stuff" going on, I was excluded. I was fine with it. Maybe she really is okay with it and she is just chillin until she finds something else to do.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:21 PM

What's normal is that she didn't mind having guy friends around when she was on a date with FRED, but they don't want her around when they're on dates.  I would take that as a good sign of their friendship; if they're true friends, they would protect her and make sure FRED (or whatever boyfriend) doesn't try anything.  They don't need that (at least they don't think they do).

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:25 PM
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As the mother of a 16 year old girl, I say you're blowing it out of proportion.  A few weekends at home won't hurt her. 

by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:18 PM
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 I didn't go out much at all in high school. I had plenty of people I would tallk to/hang out w/ at school, but it just didn't carry over to after school hrs. I was rather shy and preferred being by myself outside of school- being social at school took a lot of mental energy for me and I needed that down time on the weekends.

As long as your dd is happy, does not start withdrawing from normal extracurricular activities or family, or give any other red flags, I wouldn't worry.






by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:35 PM
1 mom liked this

 My son is 14 and doesn't go out with friends.  I don't think it's abnormal to stay home.  She might just be going through a rough patch and is trying to see where she fits in.  My son is in a lot of school things.  He's at school at least ten hours a day.  If he wants to stay at home and relax or whatever we just let him. 

Does she have any hobbies that aren't through school?  Recently my son has taken a strong liking to bike riding.  Now he does that on the weekends.  It's all alone though.  I do feel bad for him, I wish his siblings were younger or even in the same country or even state, heck the same time zone would be nice!  But he's pretty much an only child at this point.  But that doesn't mean he's lonely.  I'm sure your daughter will forge her way at her time.

Maybe you can ask her to invite some girls over for a sleep over or a movie day?  Or something like that?  Maybe she just needs some gentle guidance.

by Shauna on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:39 PM
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I think it's normal. Give it time and lend an ear and shoulder if she needs it. She'll hang out with friends when she's ready to.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Most moms are dealing their teen daughters begging to go out until 3am. Yours is happy to be home. I would enjoy it while it lasts.
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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:49 PM

Thank you ALL sooooo much!!!!

by Susie on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:59 PM
Stay out of it and all will work out. Friends come and go.
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