No More Gaming = The Silent Treatment

[NewTeensMom]

So last week I discovered my normally brainy son, who is still coping with the transition to middle school, failed to turn in three final projects. In December, he got a statewide academic achievement award and was on the honor roll. Suddenly, he's playing video games in class on the class computers and complaining about turning in assignments.

I was incensed! So out with the video games. Every single last one; the systems, too. The Wii in his bedroom? Gone. The XBox downstairs? Gone. The Nintendo 3DS, and the old gameboy. Gone. The gaming app and YouTube access on that brand new iPhone for Xmas, the one without Internet access? Gone. The Minecraft account? Gone. The new twitter account? Deleted? It's been a week and this boy, who swears he has no friends and was so completely absorbed and enthralled by gaming, is now sullen, withdrawn, and mired in depression. This is the most drastic punishment I've given him. (He gets the games back in June). 

I guess, I'm going crazy because he won't talk to me or smile or ... well behave the way he used to. I am not giving him the games back though. I want my only child to form real friendships, with real people, something he has trouble doing - I think - because he was so immersed in gaming - he wouldn't really talk about anything else. He also is painfully, shy. I also don't want him to grow up into a person who sits on his rear and plays games all day rather than living his life. I'm hoping he gets over this. Soon. 

I'd like some input. He's only been 13 for a few weeks and if this is what the next five years is like, I'm going to go crazy.

Thanks

[CrazyLife1996]

We would do the exact same thing.

No work=no play

[atlmom2]

Excessive. Yes

[lucky2Beeme]

I can not understand why  you would have all that gaming shit. 13 he should be riding bikes ,shooting hoops, ice skating, painting or drawing or playing chess, acting in plays something else that interests him. . You did him a huge favor getting rid it it.

[gma12.1]

 Given his age I think he is giving you the silent treatment and acting like that way figuring you will get tired of it and give him back at least some of his toys. I bet that the longer you stick to your guns slowly you will see your kid return. He may not be 100% like he was before the punishment but he'll come round when he knows you aren't giving in. I think the punishment was perfect. I just did that to my 14yr old boy. He is "BORED" he has nothing to do, duh do your homework and keep up on your work so that you don't fail classes again!

[TinaH0505]

Our boys only get games on the weekends as long as weekend homework is done on Friday. This was a big adjustment also for them. It started as a punishment last year but after a month they all survived so we kept it up!
I felt bad at first (I also got the silent treatment ) but its a great thing for them. He may be depressed and angry for a short time but showing that school is a priority he will appreciate that more once he 'survives!' Good luck!

[drfink]

 There wasn't this many electronics when my oldest was 13...he is 28 now ...for his 13 th bdayhe got what ever the current at the time new system was.He still hung withfriends and participated with extracurriculars but his all A's tanked.We disconnected part of it.Homework done and he got it for a while on weekends.Worked like a charm.He even told us that he started being able to recognize a feeling that nothing else mattered only playing again and again.He would cut it off at that point...most of the time.My husband and I were in shock ,wish we had been taping him say that ; ).Let him know once his grades are moving in the right direction and he has social interaction he will earn back some game time.Games are great as a piece of a larger package.

[sabrtooth1]

He had way too many devices, and not enough real world participation, which led to obsession. Yes, playing in class, on school computers, is obsession. Do not give it back. Besides bringing up grades, demand he participate in sports or some kind of extracurricular.

[bizzeemom2717]

It definitely sounds like he had a gaming addiction. He def needs to make some friends and have some real life connections and friendships or he will have major adjustment issues I would think in the real world? I think you did well taking them away, with addiction you go through withdrawal, he's upset and maybe not conciously but being manipulative by not smiling, talking to you, ect. Don't give in, it's unhealthy for his mental health. I would insist he try an extra curricular activity as well, doesn't have to be sports, clubs, ect? Good luck. If things don't improve in a few months I would consider maybe a few counseling sessions, he may need some help developing healthy relationships. Hang in there!

[02nana07]

 Suddenly, he's playing video games in class on the class computers and complaining about turning in assignments.

You are taking them away at home because of the above statement am I the only one that noticed this.  Sounds like the class computer will be used more but also sounds like he needs a new teacher if the computer is used for games when work isn't finished.

[boys2men2soon]

I agree with taking away the games,  but you need to get to the bottom of why he is not turning in school work.....and why he has access to video games on class computers.    I would make it clear that gaming is a priveledge for free time.    If all homework is complete, chores are done and responsibilities met.    Everything in moderation.   He has to learn to manage his time.

It sounds to me as if he is depending on gaming to fill a void left by not having friends.   Middle school is often a tough transistion..... both of my sons struggled with the new dynamics.    Help him find an extra curricular activity he can enjoy with others.