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to help or not to help?

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:13 PM
  • 13 Replies

I have a 3 kids ages 13,11 and 9. The first is a girl and the other two are boys.  I feel guilty because I don't think I have them help around the house enough.  When I was growing up we had chores every Saturday and it was usually a very stressful time.  The kids do help when asked to empty the dishwasher, take down the trash or just clean up a room but I don't have a weekly schedule for them.  I only work part-time so I feel like I have more time to get things done around the house where they have school, homework and extra activities.  I am worried that by doing most of it myself I am not  teaching them to have more responsibilites.  How do other moms handle chores?

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:13 PM
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by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:36 PM
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I don't really have chores for my kids, when they were younger but once they got older I would just tell them what I wanted done. As long as they help when you are asking them to, i don't see the problem.

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 4:08 PM
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My two toddlers are to help me with laundry, cleaning up their room, picking up toys, and clearing their dishes.  My teenager on the other hand is to clean the bathroom, take the trash out, do his own laundry, help with yard work and keep his grades up.  I am a stay at home mom so I understand the feeling that you need to do it yourself.  Sooner or later you will need to let go some.  It is great that they have extra activities but I was raised that the health of the home is more important than the outside world.  Yes I feel that every child should have at least 2-3 major things they need to keep up with a week.

by Emily on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:41 PM
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Mine do have a very few set chores ,they pick alternating weeks.With two teen boys it keeps the "what about him" out of the way.Mine load and unload the dishwasher ,most cooking dishes are done by me as I go.Wipe and tidy up ...butter back in frig stuff like that.That is one ,the other takes the trash out of the kitchen every night and sweeps the kitchen and breakfast room.The trash person puts the dog food back into the metal trashcan.We live in a city but near a bayou and possumns ,racoons and other animals will come have a party in the back yard if we leave the food out all night.

Kitchen cleaner takes the trash from the restrooms on the days before the garbage men come twice a week.

I have a housekeeper a few days a week so she does the bathrooms and stuff.I ,my husband and my older two also grew up with house keepers and we know how to keep a tidy house.So just teach as you go ,they will learn.

If you work at all...even if you don't work outside your home and don't have outside help you shouldn't feel guilty for asking them for more help.What fits your family is what is best. 

If mine weren't so busy with extracurriculars I would expect more probably.

by Barbara on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:56 PM
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My son has to load and unload the dishwasher and take care of his room---including his own laundry.

by Shauna on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:04 PM
1 mom liked this

My kids never had chores beyond keeping their rooms clean, cleaning up their messes in general living areas and my dd does her laundry.

I am currently working on a chore chart so that everyone in the house will be doing simple a chore or two daily. I have a chronic condition that keeps flaring up, I can't physically do the bulk of the load like I usually do, especially during the school year when I work. This evening my 10 y/o son asked me to teach him how to do the dishes so when it's his turn to do that chore he'll know how to do it.

I am just trying to make the tasks simple like sweep floor (we have wood floors it needs to be done daily), dishes, empty little trash cans (bathroom and living room) into big trash can, take recycling outside to bin, wipe down bathroom with clorox wipe, clean tabletops, etc.

by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 I feel guilty because I work part time and my kids have chores.  They are 17, 18 and 21.  I had chores growing up and am glad that I knew how to do some things when I got married. They are still relatively young, so maybe once they are older you may give them more responsibility.


have a nice day

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I dont have a weekly schedule. If you feel your kids are good honest loving kids. You are doing a good job.

Keep teaching them and loving them..   Have them help you when they can so you dont do it all .

by Kimberly on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:08 AM
1 mom liked this

I was a sahm until my youngest was in middle school, then I went back to work part time.   Like you, I did most of the housework and my sons helped out when asked.    The problem was they ONLY did something when asked.   I finally made a chore chart.    My sons unloaded the dishwasher, folded and put away towels, mowed the lawn, vacuumed and swept floors and cleaned their bathroom and bedrooms.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:36 PM
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 Have them cook they can do it together with your help as needed at least once a week, have them sort laundry and learn to load and work both the washer and dryer, and pick up after themselves. 

 I think these things are important things they need to know when they are on their own and if they start now they won't have a problem later.  I know men that can't do anything for themselves and think it is a womans job which could be a problem if the woman can't do anything either.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 7:01 PM
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I am kind of in the same boat as you. My kids don't have set chores because during sports seasons and play and other things the kids just plain don't have the time to do the chores that they do when they aren't involved.
They know that if and when I ask them to do something they will do it without complaint or their sports or activity? ZIP.
During their down time there is much more that they must do and they know it. They know it's a privlidge to get away with less work around the house and only comes when they are involved in extra activities. They also have to "pay" to play. If they think they have enough time for the playstation, etc, then they have enough time to do something for me too. They do equal time work for play.

It's worked so far, but I REALLY worry about it not being enough to make them understand the work ethic later.

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