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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Found birth control pills in 14 yr old book bag

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I have my 14 yr old sister for two years now since our mom pass away n my sister always been boy crazy by the age of 9 n we ( our mom when she was alive n brother n myself ) have spoken to her many times about the birds n the bees we spoken to her about having respect for her self and not to let boys talk her into things she shouldn't do, with that being said it hasn't been easy for her nor I with this new adjustment in the living station n she has been giving problems with school here n there, I went in to her book bag to get something while she was in the shower n found birth control pills I'm freaked about this, I open it n she has been using it, all this behind my back n she must of got it from her school nurse..,, I just don't know what to do next 1. Scream at her because now I think she's been having intercourse n make her throw out the pills or 2. Let her keep it n talk about sex n about the pills as well? But to me if I tell her to stay with the birth control I feel like I'm saying continue having sex n just take the pills n that's what I don't want her to think I'm saying
I'm just so lost in this I have a 7 yr old n 1 yr old I wasn't ready for this now I was ready for all the craziness that comes with raising a teen girl.
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:15 PM
Replies (21-27):
woodswalker
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 2:24 AM

DONT TAKE THE PILLS AWAY!!!!     At least if she is having sex, she is smart enough to try to prevent a pregnancy. 

Shopsha0911
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:06 AM

Maybe she needs some grief counseling to help with her issues, sometimes family is not enough. Or maybe a different therapist, they are not one size fits all. 

As for the pills I would not make her stop taking them, she is being responsible for her own actions which is an amazing thing at 14. She will work out her issues and hopefully turn her life around.  


Quoting parkslope:

Thank yous ladies for your advice I needed that
Just a few other things I forgot to say she hasn't had a cell phone in about a year ( it got taken away for cutting school) but she does have an iPod n lab top she doesn't go over friends houses only to family house, she won't open up to me she has told me many times, I feel she is looking for love in all the wrong places ( well she thinks it's love) being that our mom pass n she doesn't have a dad in her life, I'm thinking that's the reason n she been cutting school I have punish her n taken many things away from her n she goes to therapy but it seem as if nothing is working



KRIZZ25
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we try to make excuses for ower kids bad behavior. when its ower fault for letting it happen in first place.we need to show them how to behave. dont make excuses ..make solutions ..
Yesterday at 9:54 PM
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:24 AM
1 mom liked this
U HAVE TO GO DOC TO GET BC..AT LEAST SHE IS SAFE..SHE WILL TELL U WEN I FEEL LIKE IT IS TIME.I WOULD GET HER SUM RUBBERS AND PUT IN HER BAD WTH A NOTE "JUST IN CASE UR PILLS DON'T WORK.COME TO ME WTH ANY ?/".
gonecrazi
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:48 AM

 Don't scream. Just talk to her honestly. If she has the pills I would take her to get a check up for STDs. She's gonna deny having sex but take her anyway. Now everything is in the open be open with her.

bumNmoos_mom
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:35 PM

Well apparently she is active. At this point you can be her ear and should when she needs it. Encourage her to talk to you and let her know you will not judge her. She is in a rough spot by losing mom, peer pressures, and having teenage hormones. She is gonna have sex with or without your approval. Just remind her often that you are always there to talk if she needs it. She will take you up on it. You are a great big sister..

blueyedgirl
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:00 PM

I agree that you should not take the pills away. It's a good sign that she's taking the pills at all, seems like she's looking out for her future and taking preventative measures. Personally, I think the biggest issues that you should bring up with her are condoms and respect. Kids at that age don't really understand the whole "respect" thing because they feel that they are "in love". I would tell her that if a boy isn't willing to wear a condom than he doesn't really care for her, since it could harm her. Tell her the truth about how guys are different, they don't think the same way and are most likely telling all their friends about what's going on between them. I'm sorry that you're in that situation, it seems like you've been dealt a difficult card but just try to be there for her. I got pregnant at 17 because I didn't feel comfortable telling my mom I was having sex and didn't know how else to get the pill. Good luck! 

parkslope
by New Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:05 PM

Thank you eveybody this means alot i really wish my mom was still here to help but thats not the case i took notes on everthing everybody said n have spoken to her about sex n everything that comes with it. I just hope things get better between her and i

Thank you all again i needed this

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