My son just turned 15 and is a freshman in HS. He is really bright, not the hardest worker, but has always been able to do well in school. His report card came out the other day and we were really disappointed in his grades...mostly C's. I touched base with his teachers and most of them said he lacks focus and hasn't been completing assignments.
My older son (17) is very troubled...emotional issues, drugs, etc. Between his issues and his doctors and therapy, he is the focus of most of the attention around the house.
It occured to me that maybe my younger son feels like you have to mess up to get attention? any suggestions on how I can get him back on track and provide some positive attention?
I've been told ( because DD is also a freshman) that this is a phase a lot of teens go through because of the transition..
we are just constantly on her and we keep reminding her to work harder...DD has always struggled with certain subject, but has seemed to get worse this year.. We just try to be supportive, and stry to stay on her when the grade is something that is completely within her control ...like Homework.. Because DH is hear to help her.
write up a contract about school work. Put in it that missed assignments or not completed ones will result in punishment. List the punishments. Also include rewards for doing his school work and doing it well.This way it is cut and dry No gray areas.
Talk to him! Ask him how is is feeling regarding school, his brother, life in general. Maybe you can try to take him to lunch or dinner once a week.....alone. One on One time is crucial.
This, make the effort!
Quoting gabyangy:I would take 15 minutes every day and just talk to him or do something with him. Maybe it will show him the you are interested in what he does.
Good luck!
Some good advice here - this is a tough time for teens anyway. Couple that with older sib having issues; spend one on one time with DS, both to talk about school but also to just listen to him. What I found helpful with my DS is if we are doing something usual (i.e. driving to school or running errands) - I just let him talk (you will find out a LOT of information this way) - he steers the conversation - don't jump in, just listen without judging or providing your advice (unless he asks for it). At other times, keep the converation light, fun, corny even. What you are doing is building or enhancing the ability for him to say anything, ANYTHING to you and realize that he is safe, loved, and OK. I think its' important to also reiterate your expectations (good grades, etc.) and the consequences that go along with not meeting expectations. But bottom line, continuing to let him know that you view him in his own right (apart from sib), his issues are real and meaningful to you and that you will continue to support, love, discipline, reward, love and did I say, love? him nonetheless. Good luck Mom with this child and your older one - parenting is sooooo difficult, but is there any greater blessing? Hang in there and here's a big, big hug for you.
thanks for all the support and good advice. we are setting expectations for school with him and i plan to focus on the one on one time with him. hope that will help.
I cannot stand her best friend.....
Do you expect academic excellence from your kids? POLL Added
- karenb941
on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:48 AM